A Christmas Story




------------------------------- Chapter Three: Deafening Silence -------------------------------

When Jing-Mei and Dave arrived at Carter's house that evening, the party was already in full swing. The walk there had been silent, and Jing-Mei had been glad for that; she didn't want to delve into conversation and seem just as insane as she felt. Once they'd arrived, Carter and Susan had greeted them, and the latter had immediately whipped out a Polaroid camera, asking them to smile and say "Cheese!" Dave had wrapped an arm around her so she'd done the same, putting on her best smile so she wouldn't seem out of place, and Susan scribbled on the photo in thin black marker before handing it to her and scurrying away to grab another couple in a 3x5. Jing-Mei had slipped the photo into her jacket pocket without waiting for it to develop, noting that it was strange to see Carter and Susan wearing matching wedding bands and watch their children running around the house.

She was nearly startled when she noticed Dave wandering off to talk to Carter, which was something that she knew would be difficult to get used to - the two of them talking like old friends, that is. There was a small group of men that gathered around them, as if Dave was a magnet attracting them. In that group was Luka Kovac, who had a full head of nearly salt-and-pepper hair that somehow made him even more handsome. Though the strange part was, in her own reality Luka had moved back to Croatia many years ago when his father had taken ill.

Unsure of what exactly to do with herself, she stood there for a moment, watching the party with wary eyes as she tried to survey the area. She saw Susan beckoning her towards the group of women she was standing with, and she was somewhat surprised to see Abby Lockhart included. Who was she here with? Maybe she was alone. Maybe she was with Luka. This alternate fate was weird; Abby was back in OB in her real life.

On her way over, Jing-Mei's ear picked up on something, and as she turned she saw a woman approach Dave. She was probably older than Jing-Mei, though thinner and with a bigger bust, and she had long red hair tied back, although she was twirling her finger around one loose strand, her other hand occupied with a tray of appetizers. She smiled suggestively at Dave then, who smiled charmingly in response. Jing-Mei was surprised to feel jealousy creep up on her.

"Hello, Dave," the woman said, leaning close to him. "You like my dress?"

"It's lovely," he said, barely glancing at it.

"I thought I saw you notice it at the kids' recital."

"Oh, there she goes again," Jing-Mei heard Susan say from behind her, and turned to see that she and Abby had shifted from the group of women to her. "When is Evelyn going to give up??"

"Maybe the two brain cells that she has will click together," Abby said with a sardonic smile, "and she'll realize he's not interested."

"From what I hear," Susan said, smiling wickedly as she looked at Jing-Mei, "you and Dave still have quite a good time when the lights go out."

"Who told you that??" Abby wanted to know, curiosity getting the best of her.

"John may have mentioned something that Dave may have mentioned," she replied casually, pretending to check out her nails, before both she and Abby erupted in laughter. Jing-Mei, however, just smiled as best she could right now, one ear still turned to Dave and Evelyn.

"Finger food?" the woman asked, holding out what looked like a mushroom puff to Dave. He began to decline when she said rather suggestively: "Oh, come on. As soon as I put them down, you're going to grab a couple…you always do…"

"I just might vomit," Susan reported.

"Let me," Evelyn continued. "They will melt in your mouth…" The redhead began to slowly bring the puff to Dave's lips, and he allowed her to place it in. "Good?"

"If freezer burn had an expression," Abby said, giggling, "then Dave would be wearing it right now."

Jing-Mei found herself laughing as she watched Dave try his best to seem sincere as he politely declined more, and Susan immediately picked up on it. "She laughs! That's the first time since you got here. Usually you're rolling in laughter before I answer the door."

"Sorry," Jing-Mei said, smiling sheepishly as she brushed a strand of dark hair behind her ear. She waved off the next statement as she said it, as to not cause alarm amongst her seemingly best friends in this life. "I've just been having a bad day."

"Too much stress," Susan diagnosed, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was obvious that she and Abby - and probably everyone else in the room, thanks to the Rumor Mill - had heard about the doctor making an appearance in the ER today. "You *do* have three kids to handle."

"Three?!" Jing-Mei blurted out, alarmed. There was another one besides Josh and Annie? Where was he or she? How had she missed them?? Holy crap, she wasn't pregnant, was she?!!

"Well," Abby explained, laughing, "you've got Josh, Annie…*and* Dave!"

Her two companions broke into laughter, but Jing-Mei was too relieved to follow suit. Instead, she reflexively glanced at Dave, who was drinking a beer straight from the bottle next to Carter, Luka and another man she didn't recognize. As if sensing her watching him, her "husband" turned and winked at her, flashing that winning smile she remembered - and might've even missed.

"Yoo-hoo…" A hand was waving before her eyes, Susan's hand. "Earth to Jing-Mei. Jeeze, could you stop fantasizing about your husband for one second? You're making me jealous."

Instinctively, she rolled her eyes, and Abby quipped good-naturedly: "Better than the old man I'm stuck with. Luka's turning fifty-*eight* next month."

"Got anything special planned?" Susan asked curiously.

"Weekend in the mountains," she replied, nodding. "I was hoping for something warmer, but he likes the cold, and it *is* his birthday…"

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Jing-Mei asked, slightly surprised that the conversation had turned back to her so abruptly.

"Hello!" Abby grinned, pretending to knock on the oriental doctor's forehead. "Is anybody home?? Your anniversary is coming up next month. Don't tell me you *forgot*!"

"Oh, no, of course not," she replied, shaking her head vehemently. She pretended to grin, hoping to get a response although her friends would probably take it to be a joke as she said: "What day is it again??"

"There's the Jing-Mei I know!" Susan exclaimed, as both she and Abby laughed loudly while raising their glasses and toasting. Jing-Mei only smiled weakly, while glancing at Dave again, who was now telling a story to his three friends. He was wearing a simple tan suit with a black shirt underneath, but he still looked as handsome as she remembered him to be. Instinctively, Abby and Susan turned to him as well, listening in as he began to relate an episode at the hospital, where he apparently worked:

"So, this guy's girlfriend broke up with him, right?" he asked rhetorically. "He tries to commit suicide by swallowing a Bic pen, and it gets stuck in his larynx. I figure I can pull it out in the ER, but it's a little more trickier than I thought, so I call in Dr. Corday, who totally shows me up and gets it out in a cinch." He was really getting into the story now, grinning widely as he used his hands for emphasis. Jing-Mei had always liked to watch him talk because he did it with such ease and charm that a whole room could tune into him in a matter of seconds, automatically making him the center of attention - as he was right now. "So when she's finished, she takes the pen, pulls out his chart and writes down: 'Writes first time, every time,' just like their motto!"

Laughter erupted throughout the room, but Jing-Mei just stood there as she recalled reading Malucci's name written on a locker in the Lounge at the hospital this morning. Without thinking, she blurted out off-handedly: "So you work at County General." The group chuckled, and while Dave wore a smile, she could see in his eyes that he was genuinely puzzled. "You're…what? An attending now?" He nodded, though his smile was fading as others began to laugh. "You got her to hire you back, didn't you? Well, bravo…"

There was a deafening silence as Dave winced ever so slightly, but Jing-Mei noticed it - and noticed the guests staring at her blankly as she made her way out the front door and into the freezing cold. Luckily, she'd had enough sense to grab her jacket off of the coat rack on the way out, but it was still damned cold and all she wanted to do right now was go home - to her *real* home, to her real bed. But all she had right now was this life and the bed in the house next to this one, and as badly as she wanted to crawl into it and sleep this day away, she knew her doing so would only worry her friends at the party even more than they probably already were, and then they'd bug her about it, which was the *last* thing she wanted right now. So, until she was positive her outburst had been forgotten and the party was back in full swing, she'd sit here and freeze her ass off in the cold while she waited to go back inside.

In hopes of gaining warmth, Jing-Mei stuffed her hands into her pocket, her right one coming in contact with what felt like a thin piece of plastic. Pulling it out, she realized it was the Polaroid Susan had taken earlier of her and Dave, with Susan's handwriting scrawled on top. In thick black marker, it read "Jing-Mei and Dave - Carter Christmas Party." It was a nice picture, she had to admit, though Dave seemed a bit distracted. It was her own fault, she knew. Her episode this morning and then her behavior in the bathroom were probably worrying him to death. She sighed, not wanting to put him through this but not knowing any other way to deal with what was happening to her. Hopefully, she'd be able to pull off "normal" for the rest of the night.

Suddenly, the door opened behind her, and Jing-Mei glanced over her shoulder to see Susan and Abby exit the house to join her on the front steps. Great. Just great. Why did everyone have to care so goddamned much? Couldn't they just leave her alone and let her wallow in her own self-pity for a while? She sighed, but her clear exasperation stood ignored as her two friends sat down on either side of her. Friends? she thought bitterly. Please. She hadn't spoken to either of them in years.

For a moment, the three women sat in silence, the only sounds coming from within the house and from Abby lighting a cigarette. Jing-Mei was tempted to have a cigarette herself when Susan began to speak.

"Jing-Mei, you've been off all day," she said. Well. Carter had told his wife about her episode in the emergency room today. Sell out. She briefly considered how many other people knew, and realized it was likely many with the infamous Rumor Mill. Unless, of course, in this reality the Rumor Mill didn't exist - but she knew she couldn't possibly be so fortunate. "Jing-Mei? Are you listening to me?"

"I'm sorry, Susan," she replied, wondering how much had been said that she hadn't heard. Quickly, she shook her head to clear her mind. "Look, it's just that I've been having a really bad day. I'm fine."

"Fine isn't having a meltdown in the middle of the ER," Abby stated bluntly, although finesse had never described her way with words. Jing-Mei found herself sighing again, pursing her lips as she rolled her eyes. Her friend turned to look at her. "Is it Dave? Did he do something? He didn't…you know…with Evelyn, did he??"

"No!" Jing-Mei exclaimed, almost snapping the word. "Look, guys…it's me. As clichéd as that sounds, it's *me*."

"Is it…menopause?" Susan tried, hesitantly.

Jing-Mei shook her head. "No, it's not menopause. God, I'm not *that* old yet, am I?" This gained a chuckle from both Abby and Susan, and she was relieved that some of the tension had been eased. Leaning back and glancing up at the stars, clear and bright in the sky, she considered the thousands of excuses she could tell them. Hell, she could blame Dave if she wanted to. Yet, somehow, she couldn't. As fed up as she was about living a live that wasn't hers, no matter how temporary, she decided to stick with the truth. Or half-truth, really. "I'm just having a really bad day. You have nothing to worry about, honestly. But coming out here to talk to me just shows me how much you really care. Thanks…"

They smiled at her, complacent with her answer. From their eyes, however, she knew the instant anything else came up they'd be all over her, so she vowed to be careful from then on. She was about to say more reassuring words when the door opened and light spilled onto the steps, bathing them in bright yellow. Turning, Jing-Mei caught sight of a Filipino woman, stumbling out of the house just in time to vomit on the front lawn. She heard her companions laugh softly, suggesting they knew her well enough to be able to laugh at her antic, and she smiled herself as to not raise attention. Soon, their laughter died down as the obviously inebriated woman made her way to them, stumbling to sit down on the step below them.

"Hello, Dr. Malucci, Susan, Abby," she said politely, startling Jing-Mei by using Dave's last name. Well, they were married, she knew, but it was still…disconcerting. The young woman placed her hand on Jing-Mei's knee, giggling with eyes dancing as if she was having the time of her life here. "This is a great party. Though I'd be careful if I were you, Dr. Malucci. You'd better keep an eye on Dave…or maybe keep an eye on Evelyn. She looks as if she's about to jump his bones right in front of everyone. But don't you worry." She suddenly began to sing: "He's only got eyes…for you…"

She giggled again, as if what she said had been witty. Jing-Mei simply smiled, exchanging a glance with her companions, wondering who in God's name this woman was. "Thanks for the advice."

"You should show him a good time when you get home tonight," she said, just as a figure entered the doorway, his presence draping a shadow over the four women. Jing-Mei turned to glance up at him, just as the stranger said: "Hey, Berg! I was just telling Jing-Mei about keeping Dave busy tonight."

The man, who was probably in his mid-thirties, with curly hair cut short and charmingly good looks, seemed embarrassed as he smiled nervously. "Uh…that's great, Rach. Sorry about her, guys, she gets like this when she's…"

"Drunk off her ass?" Susan suggested.

"Yeah," the man named Berg decided, before heading down the steps and helping the Asian woman stand. "Come on, honey, let's head home before you make an ass out of yourself…" He seemed to reconsider his previous statement. "Scratch that, before you make an ass out of me too. Scratch that - ah, screw it, let's just get the hell outta here. Nice party, Susan. See you all later."

"Poor Rach," Abby commented, as she flicked her cigarette onto the pavement. They watched as the two climbed into a sedan, the Asian attempting to kiss Berg before he leaned away from her, holding up a hand. Apparently, he'd witnessed her puking into the bushes as well. "She's going to have one helluva hangover tomorrow at work."

Susan nodded, and then turned back to her two friends. "What do you say we go back inside and get a hangover too? I haven't had one of those in a while. Come on…it'll make us feel young again!"

For the first time all day, Jing-Mei genuinely smiled. "I could live with that."

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Later, in the early hours of the morning, Dave and Jing-Mei silently trekked through the snow across the Carters' lawn toward their house. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and he was keeping his distance, as if he were afraid the slightest wrong move would set her off. With good reason, she knew. She hadn't approached him at all during the party after her outburst, which had been pointedly ignored by all. But she could see the worry etched across his face and reflected in his eyes when he stole occasional glances at her. He even opened his mouth a few times, to say something, but reconsidered each time. She didn't mind; the less talk the better her chances of getting away with this were.

Once on the front porch of their house, she waited for him to open the door before stepping inside. She shrugged out of her jacket, hanging it up on the rack, but turned when she didn't see Dave doing the same. "Where are you going?"

"The dog needs to go out," he simply stated, avoiding eye contact with her. He clicked his tongue, calling out: "Frankie! Come here, girl, let's go for a walk."

"What should *I* do?" she asked, rather stupidly, and he regarded her as such.

"Do whatever you want," was the only reply she received, before he leashed the dog and left the house.

She sighed loudly, and then peeked through the curtains of the front door to watch Dave walk down the front sidewalk of the house, his shoulders sagging as if he were carrying the tangible weight of the world on them. She had to admit, no matter how fake she knew this "reality" was, she felt sorry for Dave. Dave shouldn't have to suffer because of her mistakes. Leaning her forehead against the cool glass, she closed her eyes, just breathing for a moment. This was all going so wrong…why had her Christmas gone so very wrong? What kind of fucked up God punished someone for saving lives??

"Jing-Mei?" she heard, and her eyes snapped open as she looked to see Rhonda Malucci standing at the top of the stairs. The older woman stepped down them, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. With everything that had happened, Jing-Mei had forgotten she was here watching the kids. "Dave went to walk the dog?"

"Yeah," she replied, nodding. The woman looked at her as if expecting her to say something; she soon did. "Uh…the kids…asleep?"

"Josh went down a while ago, but Annie had a nightmare, so she was up for a little longer," Rhonda explained. Unexpectedly, she reached up and gently touched Jing-Mei's face, who flinched in surprised. Obviously, they were closer than she had previously thought, and she knew it had to be true when she was regarded with a worried, maternal expression. "Honey, what's wrong? You were very upset this morning. Did my son do anything wrong? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. It surprised her how many people contemplated that Dave could be the source of her problems. Had they had a rocky marriage? Perhaps this Dave had done something to tarnish his reputation. Perhaps…perhaps he'd cheated on her. Would he do that to her? She was loath to think it, although she didn't know this Dave, hadn't seen him in over a dozen years. Breaking from her thoughts, she glanced at the woman before her, smiling reassuringly. "I'm just having a bad day. You don't have to worry, everything's fine. And please don't think this is Dave's fault, because it's not. It's mine."

"If you say so, Jing-Mei," Rhonda said in turn, before leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. Turning, she grabbed her jacket off of the hook and stepped into her shoes. "Tell Dave I said goodnight, and that I'll call him tomorrow. Goodnight to you too, Jing-Mei."

"Goodnight," she replied, closing the door behind the older woman. Jing-Mei stood there in the middle of the front hall for a long time, listening to Rhonda's car pull out, listening to the sounds of the wind outside, the sounds of the party dying down next door. When she heard the sounds of a dog's bark close to the house, however, only then did she move, bolting up the stairs and to where she thought the bedroom was. She was obviously mistaken when she opened the door to a pink bedroom, catching sight of the little girl Annie looking right at her.

"Mommy?" she asked quietly. Jing-Mei was too surprised to answer. "How was the party?"

"It was…good," she stated. She hesitated briefly, tempted to just close the door but knowing it wouldn't be in the least big appropriate. "You go to sleep."

"Okay," was the reply she received, and watched as Annie turned over in bed to face away from her. Carefully, she closed the door, before heading to the next one, thanking God that it was her own bedroom. She could hear the sounds of Dave entering and securing the house as she slipped out of her clothes and pulled on the tee shirt and shorts she'd woken up in. With speed she hadn't utilized in years, she climbed into bed and forced herself to relax, breathing evenly and deeply, hoping to appear asleep by the time Dave came into the room.

A few moments later, he entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him as if taking care not to awaken her. Through the slits of her mostly-closed eyes, she watched as he moved through the dark room, his form silhouetted in the soft glow of the moon against the open window next to the bed. His clothes discarded to the nearby hamper, she allowed herself to study his naked form for the first time in over a dozen years, and was surprised to see that he hadn't changed a bit. What surprised her more, however, was her reaction to this. It was the Dave she remembered, and it nearly took her breath away.

Rolling over and onto her other side, she listened to Dave pull on nightclothes before she felt him slide between the sheets next to her. He was still for a moment, before the dip in the bed moved closer to her, and shortly she felt his body lying flush against hers, one arm draping over her hip ever so gently. Her own body was very aware of every curve and plane of his. She didn't like that, she didn't like it at all.

"Jing-Mei?" he whispered. He paused for a moment, but she didn't reply. "Jing-Mei, I'm sorry if I did anything wrong. I don't know what I did wrong…I'm probably too much of a bad husband to know…but if you tell me, I'll fix it. I swear to God, I'll fix it…" She felt his hot breath sigh against her neck, resigning to the fact that she was asleep. Or perhaps he'd just convinced himself she was. "I love you, Jing-Mei," he whispered, before his lips pressed softly to the back of her hair.

Absurdly, she felt tears come to her eyes. This wasn't fair, to either of them. It wasn't fair to make her feel this way, and it certainly wasn't fair to make Dave feel this way either. She swore to God the minute she got her hands on Cash she was going to strangle him for doing this. Because it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

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Part 4
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