Baby Boom


AUTHOR: Carrie Verkman
EMAIL: carebear1025@juno.com
CATEGORY: JC/LKo/MG/DM
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, I got the idea for this story from Cathy Robert's "Misconceptions" where John Carter got pregnant. And one day I was watching an old episode of "The Cosby Show" where all the men got pregnant by drinking water that had like insect spores in it that reproduced or something. So I want to apologize to anyone if I'm stealing their ideas. Obviously I'm not creative enough to come up with my own. I'm also trying to make this seem somewhat scientifically correct. Anyway, I'm saying that this story is a comedy, since we all know that men can't get pregnant. Enjoy!
SUMMARY: Somehow all the men in the ER get pregnant. Except Peter Benton and Robert Romano, because they're surgeons. A comedy piece!



Bubbling Brook Spring Water Bottling Company. Chicago, IL.

Jeffrey Thomas had been working for Bubbling Brook Spring Water for over 20 years. He valued selling clean and refreshing bottled water to the public. "You don't do much in the water business." Jeffrey once told a newspaper reporter. "Clean the water, bottle the water, sell the water, drink the water. No surprises in this field of work."

Then he added, "Knock on wood."

However this superstitious remark didn't prevent the surprises Jeffrey talked about. Soon the company had problems purifying the water. Afraid to lose business, they sold the unfit water anyway. That's when the complaints began. People stopped buying the water due to its filthiness. Bubbling Brook's president, Noah Strausser, came up with a plan to purify the water using a special filter in Lake Michigan to filter the water. Business was back up again. Then the company saw their worst nightmare.

"Mr. President? We need to talk." said Jeffrey Thomas.

"What now?" asked Noah Strausser.

"It's happened again." said Jeffrey. "Look at this." He dropped a copy of The Chicago Tribune on his desk.

"Fifth pregnant male. Tests show pregnancy a result of infected water."

Noah read out loud. "Are you sure it's our water?"

"Yes. The man confirms it."

Noah thought for a moment. "This company has been up for more than 50 years without problems until now. All we have to do is keep doing what we're doing."

"But we'll get slapped with lawsuits the size of Texas!" pleaded Jeffrey.

"I'm willing to risk that."

Jeffrey looked at his boss confused. "There has to be something we can do."

"Send the man a congratulatory basket of baby gifts for this joyous occasion." Noah said sarcastically. "I don't know!"

"What do you know?" asked Jeffrey.

"I know that we can't let this get out to anyone. Try to keep this a secret. It's bad enough The Chicago Tribune knows about it." Noah said. "Until we find a way to stop this, everyone has to keep their mouths shut."

Jeffrey didn't know if he could do that.



County General Hospital. Chicago, IL

"Man, it's like 100 degrees in here!" shouted Dave Malucci. "When is the air conditioning going to get fixed Chief?"

Kerry Weaver let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you, not until next week! Just drink some water!" The heat was affecting everybody. All the doctors and nurses were cranky because of the heat.

"Excuse me, is a Dr. Weaver around?" asked a man.

"WHAT?" Kerry turned around to face a deliveryman.

"I'm sorry to startle you. But I need you to sign for a delivery." he said. "What delivery?"

"Let's see," he said. "A dozen boxes of hypodermic needles, a case of Dopamine, surgical gloves, and a six pack of Bubbling Brook Bottled water."

"Oh yes. I'll sign. I'm sorry for my rudeness, it's the heat."

"Not a problem. Thank you ma'am. Where do you want the stuff?"

Kerry looked around the ER. "I'll take the water. Put everything else on that cart over there." She took the water and put it in the refrigerator in the lounge.

Dave walked into the lounge. He took off his scrub top. It was soaked with sweat. As Dave put on another one, John Carter and Abby Lockhart came into the lounge. Abby was fanning herself with a little electronic fan. John waved a chart in front of him. "Is the heat getting to you Dave?" asked John.

"Hell yeah, this is my third scrub top today." He reached into the fridge. "Hey Carter, you want a bottle of water?"

"Yeah." Dave tossed him one and took one for himself. "What about you Abby?"

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"Okay, but I hope you don't die from the heat." Dave took a sip of the water. "Yuck, this tastes funny."

John took a sip of his. "It does taste different. But water is water."



Luka Kovac took out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his forehead. He sighed as he moved on to his next patient. Deb Chen noticed he was tired. "Dr. Kovac, why don't you take a break. You look like hell."

"I'm fine Dr. Chen."

"No you're not. Here." She handed him a bottle of water. "I'll take this patient."

Luka swallowed the water as if it were liquid gold. "Thanks. I needed that."

Mark Greene walked into the lounge with Elizabeth Corday. "So did the GSW patient come out of surgery okay?"

"Yes, but he is in critical condition. He's in the I. C .U. now." answered Elizabeth.

"Okay. Man, I'm dying of thirst." Mark grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. "You want some water Elizabeth?" He handed her a bottle.

"No thanks. I brought my own. I freeze it overnight." She pulled out a frozen bottle from the freezer. Mark took a sip of his. He noticed a funny taste. Mark checked the expiration date on the bottle. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued to drink.



Bubbling Brook Spring Water Bottling Company

Jeffrey Thomas was in a very difficult position. He was dying to tell someone about the company's water. Doing so would risk him losing his job. Noah also asked him to find information about the water filter that they bought. It wasn't easy, but Jeffrey found results.

"There is a pharmaceutical company that has been experimenting with gene research. That includes human reproduction also. They have been experimenting with male sperm and female eggs. From what I've heard the company is also using radiation to speed up the gestation process of the fetuses they are creating. They want to see if gestation periods in pregnant females will speed up." Jeffrey explained.

"That still doesn't explain why my water is getting men pregnant." Noah said.

"Let me finish." Jeffrey continued. "The company recently lost funding from the government to continue the experiments. So they have been dumping the fertilized eggs and chemicals they used into Lake Michigan. I studied the filter we bought. It isn't keeping all the bad stuff out of the water. I asked a biologist to examine the water. It turns out the fertilized eggs are clinging on to spores in the water. The filter isn't keeping out the spores, therefore the water contains fertilized eggs."

"But how do these spores, or eggs, or whatever reproduce?" asked Noah.

"Once the infected water comes in contact with a human body, or a host, it will reproduce in the body just a pregnant woman's body would do." said Jeffrey.

Noah thought about the information Jeffrey just presented to him. "How come it isn't happening to women?"

"Apparently no women have been drinking the water."

Noah soon came up with a plan. "We need to stop the shipments of water. Everywhere. Get me a list of where the water has been shipped. From now on we don't package the water for shipping. Let's try to stop this before things get worse."



End of Chapter One


Baby Boom
Part Two

Author's Note: You're probably thinking right now, how is the info in Chapter One supposed to make sense? Well, you know, I just made it up, it isn't supposed to make sense. That's what fan fiction allows you to do. It's not like everything we write has to be anatomically possible or medically correct. Although I do try my hardest to make it that way sometimes.



Kerry Weaver was upset. Mark and Luka had both taken the day off sick. That left her, Carter and Malucci today. She prayed that it wouldn't get busy. But as soon as it did, Carter was no where to be found.

"Malucci, where the hell is Carter? There are patients waiting in the lobby." asked Kerry.

"I think he's in the bathroom Chief." answered Dave.

"Well go find him! There are medical patients waiting!" snapped Kerry.

"Okay, okay, okay." Dave said. He headed towards the men's room. "Hey Carter? Dr. Carter are you in here?" Dave heard retching sounds from one of the stalls.

"Yeah, I-I'm in here Dave." John said weakly.

"You okay?" Dave leaned against his stall.

"No, I'm not okay." said John. "I'm sick. I think it's from something I ate."

"Well as soon as you're done in here, Kerry wants you to start seeing patients."

"I don't know. I really don't feel good."

"I'll tell Weaver you'll be out in a minute." Dave said as he was leaving. John's body heaved as he vomited again.

John began to feel better later that day. He was curious as to what caused his episode of vomiting this morning. He figured it was a small flu virus or something he ate. Being in a hospital you never know. Shortly after John's vomiting session, Dave left a massive trauma to be sick in the bathroom. Dave figured he caught something from John.

"This is so weird." said Cleo Finch to Deb Chen. "First Mark and Luka, now Malucci and Carter are sick."

"You'd think all of us would be sick if something's going around. You're right, it is strange." said Deb.

Kerry walked up to them. "What's weird?"

"Oh Carter and Malucci both went home sick. We're covering for them." said Cleo.

"Them too? Mark and Luka are sick." Kerry said.

"You think there is a virus going around?" asked Deb.

"It's hard to say. If this continues for a few more days we'll have to get them back in here for some tests." Kerry said. All three women had looks of concern on their faces.



Luka returned to work a few days later. "Welcome back Dr. Kovac." said Kerry. "I take it you're feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." said Luka in his thick Croatian accent. "Although I think I gained some weight by sitting at home. Do I look fat to you?"

Kerry, who was surprised by his comment, looked at Luka. "You're waistline is a bit larger, but you'll lose the weight soon."

Kerry asked John and Luka to move some boxes later that day. "Why doesn't Kerry move these boxes herself?" moaned John. "What's in here anyway?"

"Bedpans and emisis basins." Luka answered. "Kerry probably isn't strong enough to do this herself. She needs some strong men, like us, to move them. Besides, Mark and Dave are still sick, she wants our help."

John nodded. As he bent over to pick up another box, pain swept through his back. He moaned.

"Are you okay John?" asked Luka.

"My back."

Luka nodded as he remembered the reason for John's bad back. He tried not to think of the accident with him and Lucy Knight. "Do you need some pain killers?" Luka asked, concerned.

"No, I don't actually. I've been off my prescription for a while now." John said. "I have no idea what's causing this."

"I have no idea what is causing all the men in the ER to get sick." Luka said. "I hope it's nothing serious."



Kerry and the other doctors began to get worried about Mark, Carter, Malucci and Luka since they had taken so many sick days. Everyone was worried for their health. Kerry was especially concerned for Carter, due to his earlier injuries. She knew there needed to be something done.

Kerry called a staff meeting for herself, Cleo, Deb, and Elizabeth. "I appreciate you coming to this last minute meeting." Kerry said. "As you know the male doctors in the ER have been, well, under the weather lately."

"Wait, "said Deb. "Shouldn't we get Anspaugh, Romano and Benton into this meeting?"

"No, I don't want to worry Peter about this. Anspaugh and Romano aren't going to hear about this." Kerry said. "I've come up with a plan to exam and evaluate Mark, Luka, Carter and Malucci. Each of you will take one man, examine them, and find out what's causing all this. Have them set up appointments all on the same day to come in."

"But what if they refuse?" asked Cleo.

"Hopefully they won't." Kerry continued. "But if they do, they all get night shifts from now on."

The women thought it over. Elizabeth spoke up. "I call Mark Greene for the exam!"

Everyone laughed since they knew the two of them were dating. "I think I can handle Malucci." offered Deb.

"I'll take Luka." said Cleo.

"Great, that leaves me with Carter. I almost forgot, after we run tests on them, let's go over the results together so they can be treated the same." Kerry finished her little plan. It always made her happy when she came up with the right plan that everyone agreed to. Kerry was definitely a leader.



Kerry called Carter at his Grandmother's house to make the appointment. He was cooperative, and set up his appointment. Elizabeth easily got Mark to make his. Cleo had some difficulty with Luka, as he didn't think doctors needed doctors. She mentioned Kerry's threat and the appointment was made right away. Unfortunately, Deb had the most trouble with Malucci.

"We're only trying to help you Dave." pleaded Deb.

"No way! I never get sick!" Dave said. There is no way I'm coming in for some stupid appointment."

"If you don't Weaver will make you work nights."

"Yeah right."

Deb proposed another threat She made this one up. "Not only will you have to work nights, Weaver says you'll have to be her personal slave for 3 weeks. That includes giving her sponge baths!"

"Oh God! I'll make the appointment, geez." Dave finally gave in.



Later that week all four men were given every test in the book. Blood gases, CBC's EEG's, EKG's, Urine Analysis, and blood work. They were also given X-rays to see if anything was out of place. When Kerry finally got her results, she was shocked. Immediately she called the pathologist.

"This is Kerry Weaver from the ER. I just sent up some blood work on John Carter. The tests show that he is pregnant! I won't accept that. Run the samples again."

"I ran the tests ten times and the results were the same every time. Dr Carter is pregnant! I can't believe it either!" the pathologist said. Kerry dropped the phone. "Men don't get pregnant." she said quietly.

"Dr. Weaver! Dr. Weaver! Look at this!" said Deb. "Malucci is.he's."

"Pregnant. I know." said Cleo. "Luka is too."

"So is Mark." announced Elizabeth.

All four women stood there staring at each other. It was absolutely impossible for men to carry babies. But somehow, in some way, Mark, Luka, Carter, and Malucci were expecting. Kerry came up with an idea.

"Abby," she called, "How many portable ultra sound monitors can you bring down here from OB?"

"Four, maybe five. Why?" she asked.

"You'll see." It was time to break the news to the men.

"Well, it's about time those tests came back." said John. He then saw the serious look on Kerry's face. "What is it?"

"We many did extensive tests." Kerry said calmly. "When they tested your blood they found.John you are pregnant."

"Ha ha, nice joke Kerry Weaver. Really what's going on? How come I'm so sick in the morning?"

"Because you're pregnant. It's morning sickness."

John laughed nervously. "That is outrageous! I'm not pregnant!"

"Lift up your shirt." Kerry said, getting the ultra sound ready.

"I won't." whined John.

"Lift up your shirt!" Kerry said firmly.

"Okay," John said as he unbuttoned the bottom half of his shirt, and unzipped his pants slightly. "You're not going to find anything."

John flinched as the cold jelly hit his stomach. A blurry picture appeared on the screen. John's eyes widened as he heard a heart beat.

"Congratulations, Carter." said Kerry. "You have a healthy baby that should be born in seven months."

John looked at the ultra sound screen. Then he looked at his barely bulging belly. "I'm going to have a baby?"



Elizabeth walked into the room where Mark had been examined. "So, what do the tests say." asked Mark.

Elizabeth could hardly speak. "We've found the reason why you've been so ill in the morning and why you've been tired."

"What's the reason?"

"Mark, I can't explain it, but you're pregnant."

Mark looked at Elizabeth for a long time. "How?"

"I don't know how. Look." She did an ultra sound on Mark. His eyes grew large as he saw the baby.

"I can't believe it." he said bewildered.



Luka on the other hand was quite happy by the news. "Are you sure?"

Cleo checked his chart. "Yes, I'm sure. The baby will be born in seven or eight months."

"I cannot believe it." Luka said. "God has allowed me to defy science and logic and carry a baby for which I'm most grateful. I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl?"

Cleo just stood there, looking dazed.



"I am not pregnant!" Dave yelled. "There is no way in hell I'm having a baby!"

"Calm down Malucci!" pleaded Deb. "I don't how you got pregnant, but you are. So be it."

"No way. No way, man. This is fuc-"

"DR. MALUCCI!" yelled Kerry. "I suggest you calm down right this instant!" She heard the commotion coming from outside the exam room. It took some persuading, but Dave finally calmed down for an ultra sound. He was still shocked. "Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man." was all he could say.



End of Chapter Two


Baby Boom
Part Three

Author's Notes: This chapter is about the doctors getting used to being pregnant. The REAL fun starts in the next chapter. I never intended this to be a long story either.

Previously on ER
Carter, Malucci, Mark, and Luka find out that they are pregnant. This was due to drinking poisoned water. Malucci absolutely can't stand the fact he's pregnant. Luka is actually pretty happy. Carter and Mark just don't get it.





Bubbling Brook Spring Water Bottling Company. Chicago, IL

Jeffrey Thomas worked hard to find out where the infected water was shipped. He soon found results for his boss.

"Well?" asked Noah Strausser.

"The water was shipped to these following companies and organizations." Jeffrey explained. "The ones high-lighted are where the water has stopped being shipped to. No pregnancies resulting from anyone in the companies listed."

"What about this one? Country General Hospital?" asked Noah.

"I couldn't get a hold of anyone from there."

Noah was afraid something bad had happened. Both him and Jeffrey suspected the worst. "Go to County." ordered Noah. "See if any males are pregnant. If they are, explain to them what happened. Maybe we can prevent a law suit before it happens."

Jeffrey nodded. "I'll go to County this afternoon."



All four men were still trying to figure out the news they just received.

"Can you believe it?" said Dave. "We are pregnant. Us manly men, having babies!"

"Manly? Uh, I don't know about you Dave, but you seem kind of pre-pubescent." John said dryly.

"It's just not right! How did we get knocked up anyway? It's not like we had sex or anything."

Luka tried to calm Dave down. "You should be happy about this. You are going to have your own child. I think it's bizarre too, but I accept it."

"How exactly are we going to have these kids?" Dave continued to complain. "There's no way it's comin' out down there!"

"Maybe by caesarian section. It seems like the only possible way." said Mark. "I've had one kid already. I don't think it will be that hard. Except I never gave birth before."

"Hey I just realized something." said John. "We're going to have to learn like the Lamaze Method and stuff. We'll have to change diapers, buy baby clothes, and car seats. And we'll have to pick names too."

"My wife and I used to do that all the time." said Luka, remembering his wife and children.

"Oh my God!" said Dave rolling his eyes. "You like this?"

"Well.I don't know." said John. "Like Mark said, maybe it won't be so bad."

Dave realized he was the only one left complaining. Everyone else was beginning to accept their conditions. Dave didn't want to feel left out so he joined in. "So when does the fun start?"



Jeffrey walked into the ER. He was nervous. If there were pregnant men, how exactly was he going to tell them the cause of it? What would he say? "Oh by the way, you got pregnant by drinking our poisoned water." He didn't like the sound of that at all. Jeffrey found the front desk of the ER.

"Excuse me, but where can I find the Chief Resident?" he asked.

"That's me, Dr. Kerry Weaver. How can I help you?"

"I'm Jeffrey Thomas from Bubbling Brook Spring Water bottling company. We recently shipped you some bottled water."

"Oh yes. Is there a problem?"

"Oh yeah, big time." he explained. "We have found that our water has been infected, causing pregnancies. In males."

Kerry began to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. "So what you're saying, is that because of your water, four of my doctors are pregnant?"

"I was afraid of this, but yeah."

"I think you should explain this to them. Let's go to the lounge." Kerry led Jeffrey into the lounge. "Randi, page Carter, Malucci, Mark and Luka please."



The four expecting doctors were seated in the lounge. Jeffrey explained how the water got contaminated, and how it came to the bottling company. He also said that one of the men who got pregnant, just delivered a healthy baby by c-section successfully. "I know it's hard to believe. It's harder for the company to believe it too. But so far nothing has happened that is endangering anyone. Your bodies are not at risk." It seemed as all the men breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Our president has agreed to pay for your medical bills and any other expenses." Jeffrey said.

"That won't be necessary." said Mark. "I think we'll be okay."

Malucci, Carter, and Luka nodded in agreement.

"Okay. Thank you for your time. Just so you know, no more of our water will be shipped until the problem is fixed. Oh and I almost forgot," Jeffrey said. "I want to congratulate you men on this joyous occasion." With that, Jeffrey left.



Soon news broke out in the ER that Mark, Carter, Malucci and Luka were pregnant. Many people laughed at first, but it was beginning to be an everyday thing. However, like Kerry wanted, Peter and Romano were left out of the loop. Cleo told Peter anyway one day while they had lunch. "Hey, have you noticed Carter lately?" Peter said. "It looks like he's gained weight."

"Oh I don't blame him, what with the baby coming and all." Cleo said nonchalantly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Peter.

"Oh, that's right you haven't heard. Mark, Carter, Malucci and Luka are pregnant."

Peter stared with a blank look on his face. "You're funny, you know that?"

Cleo went on to tell the story about how it all happened. She also told Peter to keep it a secret from Romano. Luckily Peter said that Romano was California teaching special surgery procedures to med students and wouldn't be back for a few months. "So, do you have any advice to give to the fathers-to-be?" asked Cleo, thinking of Peter's son Reese.

"No, not really. Although I must spend more time in the ER." he answered.



"Mark, you look so tired." said Kerry. "Having trouble sleeping?"

"I feel sorry for every pregnant woman in the world!" he said. "I can't sleep on my stomach anymore." Mark patted his belly, which was beginning to show. "I couldn't fall asleep because I couldn't get comfortable."

"You should ask Jenn how she did it." said Deb, who had overheard his comments. "It's bad enough I had to tell her my condition." explained Mark. "Also, I had to tell Rachel that she might have a little brother or sister soon."



John walked into the men's room for the fourth time that day. He saw Luka there too. "You too?" Luka asked.

John nodded as he stood at the urinal next to Luka. "I've lost count of how many times I've peed today." He unzipped his fly. Both men were feeling the side effects of pregnancy.

"How much more of this will we have to endure?" asked Luka, who was now washing his hands.

"I have no idea." John said. "But until we have our babies, we better get used to it."



To many, Dave seemed like the last person in the world to have kids. Whether he was carrying them or not. But he was going to make the effort to be a good father. He decided to ask Connie and Haleh for parenting advice. The nurses thought it was funny, but Dave was serious. Connie and Haleh agreed to help him out.

"Now take the little tabs and attach them to the front of the diaper." Haleh said. Her and Connie brought a baby doll and a diaper for Dave to practice on.

Dave did as he was told. "Like that?"

"Yep." said Connie. "Very good Malucci. Now you can dress the baby. But remember, newborns are very fragile. Don't be rough."

"Gentle is my middle name." Dave said. "The ladies love it."

"Really? Then how come there are no ladies with you right now?" asked Haleh.

Dave was caught. But he pretended to ignore her remark. Just then Kerry came into the lounge.

"Hey Chief!" yelled Dave. "I'm dressin' a baby!"

"Good for you Malucci!" Kerry said sarcastically. "Now let's see if you can tie your shoes!"



End of Chapter Three


Baby Boom
Part Four


Author's Note: Here's where the fun begins! Hopefully I get the medical jargon in the caesarian section scenes correct.



Abby Lockhart had been appointed as personal OB nurses for John, Luka, Mark and Dave. She gave them monthly checkups and plenty of advice as to what the delivery would be like. Also, Abby helped them learn the Lamaze Method. Not that it would help much during a c-section, but maybe keep them calm during contractions.

"Well everything looks okay Dr. Kovac." said Abby, who was doing another routine ultra-sound on Luka. "Would you like to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No." said Luka. "Well actually I do. Wait no, I don't want to know. But it would be nice. No, don't tell me. What do you think Abby?"

Abby laughed. "I already know what it is. What I'm saying is, do you want the surprise spoiled?"

"No." Luka said. "Finding out I was pregnant nine months ago was a big surprise. I think I can handle another one."



John was lying on his back on the couch on the lounge. His poor back was in terrible pain due to the extra weight he was carrying. However the reassuring kicks of his baby made him feel a little better. Mark came into the lounge. He was eating a small carton of ice cream.

"You know, " Mark said taking another bite. "I never appreciated chocolate ice cream before I got pregnant. It seems like I'm happy for the rest of the day if I full fill every little craving I have."

"Tell me about it." John said.

"Did you know Malucci was found crying in the suture room?" Mark said.

"What? You're kidding?"

Nope. Cleo found him with a whole box a tissues and everything." he explained. "She says he was crying because he thought he looked too fat and that he would never be able to lose the weight from all this."

"No shit?" John sat up. "Malucci, crying like a little girl?"

"It's hormones." said Mark. "I'm sure you have them too."

"I do. I feel his pain. But it's not every day Dave Malucci cries out his emotions." John said trying not to laugh.



Luka was looking in a baby name book at the front desk. "Do you think Sarah is a good name for a girl?" he said to Deb.

"Nah, Sarah is to common." she said.

"What about Carrie?" he said.

"People will call her Hairy Carrie at school."

"Kelly?"

"Smelly Kelly."

"Kat? Short for Katherine?"

"Fat Kat."

"What about for a boy, is Tony a good name?"

"He'll be called Tony Baloney."

Luka was frustrated. "My God, I didn't think this would be so hard! Didn't kids make fun of your real name in school? Jing-Mei isn't very common."

"Kids would. But then they never had the chance to do it again." Deb made a fist and punched her other hand with it.



Mark, John, Luka and Dave were tired. They were tired of wearing "maternity clothes", which Dave called "fat man clothes" since they were bought at a men's plus size store. They were also tired of frequent trips to the bathroom. John constantly left traumas because nature called. All of them were sick of being tired. Dave often overslept, which Kerry did not like. They were even sick of complaining about complaining! However this was all about to end. Abby declared all the men a full nine months pregnant and due at any time to give birth. Now they just had to wait. Each doctor had also agreed to work up until their due dates, so if they did go into labor they would already be at the hospital.



Mark was talking to Elizabeth in the lounge. Elizabeth had noticed Mark wasn't looking too good. He had a look on his face like he was going to be sick.

"Mark, are okay?" asked Elizabeth.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Nothing. I just thought you looked sick."

"Everyone has been asking me that." said Mark. "I let you know when I need help."

Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders. She began to talk about this medical journal she had read. But Mark wasn't listening. He was fixated on his large stomach. Did he just have a contraction? Mark wasn't sure but he paid attention to the pain. He felt it again a few minutes later.

"Elizabeth, I think I'm in labor."

"Very funny. You just said you were fine." she said in her British accent. "Now what I was saying was that at a hospital in California they did a study on trauma-"

"Elizabeth the baby is coming!" Mark said. He clutched his stomach as another cramp hit him.

"Oh my God, Mark!" Elizabeth said. "You're in labor!"

"Oh gee ya think?" Mark tried to stand up, but he needed help from Elizabeth. She opened the door to the lounge.

"Malik, I need a gurney!" she called. "Breathe, Mark, breathe. That's good."

Malik arrived with a gurney along with Kerry at his side. "Mark?"

"Yeah, who'd you think it was?"

"Abby!" Kerry called. "Page Dr. Coburn and book an OR!"

Abby did as she was told. Luka, who was in an exam room, came out to see what the commotion was. After he saw Mark, he ran to find John and Dave. "Mark is in labor." he announced to John and Dave. They ran out to find Mark being brought up to the OR.

"Hey guys." he said. "I guess I get to be the first one, huh?"

"Tell us everything that happens." said Dave. "Hang in there man."

"You'll be fine Mark. Good luck." said John.

Mark waved bye as he was brought into the elevator. Dave, John and Luka stood there surprised. "Who do you think will be next?" said Dave.



Mark was lying on an operating table. Elizabeth was with him also, at Mark's request. "I'm scared. What if something goes wrong?" he asked.

"Don't worry. Dr. Coburn is Chicago's best OB doctor. You are in good hands. Remember you are doing this for the baby." said Elizabeth.

The anesthesiologist walked in. "Dr. Greene would you like to be awake for the c-section?"

"Yes. You'll be here Elizabeth?"

"Of course I will. Now relax."

Mark was given an epidural and some Haldol to calm him down. Dr. Coburn announced that they were going to start. She made an incision in his belly. "Okay Mark, they've made the incision. Hang in there." said Elizabeth. "It shouldn't be much longer."

Mark nodded. Dr. Coburn asked Abby, who was assisting, to get a blanket ready. She then pulled out Mark's baby. "Congratulations Dr. Greene, you have a baby boy!" she said. Mark closed his eyes and let out a big sigh. Elizabeth kissed him.

Mark smiled as he heard his baby take in his first breath of air and cry. "When can I see him?"

"After we stitch you up. Relax, he's fine." said Abby. Mark watched as his baby was taken away by a nurse.



Elizabeth ran back to the ER to spread the news. Dave, John and Luka were waiting not-so-patiently.

"How is he?" asked Dave.

"Just fine." said Elizabeth. "It's a boy. Seven pounds and twelve ounces. Mark and the baby are okay, you can stop worrying!"

Everyone was relived. "Can we see him?" asked Luka.

"Yes, let's go."



Mark was holding his little boy. He had already called Jenn and Rachel, who was a big sister now, to share the news. He was relived that his baby was okay and that he had no permanent damage to his body. Finally it was all over.

"Mark you have some visitors." Elizabeth said. They were anxiously waiting to see Mark.

"Let them in." he said.

Dave, Luka and John walked into his room. They were surprised to see Mark holding a baby. Something he created.

"How are you doing? Was it bad?" asked John.

"No, everything went fine." Mark explained. "It's actually a great feeling. Once you see you child, you whole life changes."

"What did you name him?" asked Luka.

"David." he said. "David William, after my father." Soon David began to cry.

"I think he's hungry." said Elizabeth.

"How are you going to feed him?" asked Dave with a worried look on his face.

"Formula." answered Abby, who walked in with a bottle.

They stayed a little longer then Elizabeth said they should leave so Mark could get some rest.

"Who knew a bottle of water could make me so happy?" Mark said, looking at his son.



Mark was off on maternity leave now. The nurses, obsessed with betting on the ER doctors, ran a pool to see which doctor would give birth next. Chuni won the first time when she guessed Mark was to deliver first.

An ambulance pulled up the doors of the ER. Cleo and John took over. They were shocked to see that Luka was on the gurney. "Thirty-five year old male. End stage pregnancy. Contractions are about two minutes apart." announced the paramedic.

"Luka, when did you go into labor?" asked John.

"This morning before I was scheduled to work." he explained. "I thought I could make it to the hospital but the contractions were so bad I called an ambulance." Luka cried out in pain.

Abby saw Luka being brought in. "Let's get him up to the OR stat! This baby isn't going to wait!"

Cleo and John wheeled him into the elevator. "Good luck Luka!" cried Cleo. "It's almost over!"

"Two down, two to go." said John, patting his belly.



"Abby, will the procedure take long?" asked Luka.

"No, we need to act fast. Your baby isn't very patient." she answered.

Luka nodded. "Abby, if anything goes wrong, save the baby. That's what's important."

"Luka, nothing will go wrong. Mark delivered safely, you will too."

Dr. Coburn began to deliver the baby when to everyone's horror, something went wrong. "Dammit. The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck."

"What's going on?" asked Luka who was awake.

"The cord is wrapped around the neck." explained Abby. "We need to unwrap it before the baby is born."

Dr. Coburn was able to unwrap the cord, but the baby came out completely blue.

"Why isn't the baby crying? Why is it blue?" Luka was worried.

"The air was cut off. We are resuscitating her now. "Abby said, trying to comfort him. "You have a baby girl."

Luka didn't answer. His eyes were closed.

"Luka? Luka?! Luka, wake up! Open your eyes!" Abby yelled. "B. P. is 90. He's bleeding out!" said Dr. Coburn.

"We need to close him up now!" Abby said.

"Not until we control the bleeding. You don't have the authority to make that judgement either." Dr. Coburn said.

Abby looked worried. The blood pressure monitor's beeps began to get faster.



Mark walked into the ER with his son David, who was scheduled for a checkup. He noticed that the other doctors had solemn looks on their faces. "What's going on?"

"Luka is up in the OR now." said Deb. "He delivered a girl, who's being resuscitated as we speak."

"Oh God. What about Luka?"

"Last we heard he was bleeding out." Kerry said. "No word yet on his condition."

Mark was worried. He took David to his checkup and then came back to the ER where everyone was waiting for any news. He saw Abby walk downstairs to join them.

"Luka and his daughter will be okay." Abby announced. "She's six pounds, three ounces."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief.



"Luka, are you awake?" asked Abby.

Luka opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. "What happened?"

"You delivered a baby girl, but suffered profuse bleeding as we tried to close you up. You lost consciousness from low blood pressure. We gave you blood and then closed you up." Abby said.

"What about my baby?" he asked.

"Your daughter is doing fine. She's healthy." Abby walked over to a bassinet and picked up Luka's baby. She handed the sleeping baby to Luka. He smiled and began to cry as he held his little girl.

"What will you name her?" asked Abby.

"Raquela Grace." he said. "Raquela means "Lucky" in Croatian. This is a very lucky girl and I'm lucky to have her."



John Carter usually drove his Jeep to work but it was out of gas. He didn't have the energy to go the gas station so he took the EL. As he walked to the station, he got many stares. It wasn't usual to see a pregnant man everyday. John walked onto the train and took a seat next to Kerry, who was also going to work.

"How are you feeling John?" she asked.

"Pregnant." he answered. "Very pregnant. How are Mark and Luka?"

"They're fine. They should be back to work in a few weeks." Kerry and John began to make small talk when the EL train made a sudden stop. Kerry and John both jerked forward.

"Are you okay John?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. I think the sudden jerk induced labor." John answered.

Kerry rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're in labor now. The train is stopped."

"I am. Kerry, this isn't good."

Kerry began to get worried. John was really in labor and there wasn't much they could do about it. An announcement came over the loud speaker saying there would be a twenty to thirty minute delay. John couldn't wait that long. Kerry decided to bring him to the hospital herself. "Can you walk?"

John nodded. He stood up clutching his belly. Kerry helped him and opened the EL doors with her crutch. They soon made the trip to the hospital.

"Kerry, I'm in so much pain. Are we there yet?" John said.

"Almost." she said. "About two and a half more blocks. We'll give you an epidural at the hospital. Hang in there."

"I need to sit down. Please." John sat down on a bench. He waited for the next contraction to pass.

"Okay. Just take deep breaths." instructed Kerry.

Finally John and Kerry made it to the hospital. John was in more pain. As he walked in, he collapsed.

"I need some help!" Kerry yelled. Chuni and Abby picked up John and put him on a gurney.

"John are you with us?" asked Abby.

"Please give me some drugs. I don't think I can take much more of this." he begged.

Abby nodded and wheeled him to the elevator like she did with the others. Peter walked out. "Carter?"

"The one and only." he said, putting a hand on his stomach. "Wow, hang in there man. Good luck with the delivery." John waved goodbye as he left.



"Whoever created this wonderful drug deserves a medal." John said. He had been given an epidural was finally comfortable.

"Ready?" asked Dr. Coburn.

"Yeah, it's not like it's the first time I've been under the knife before." He said.

Dr. Coburn smiled and began to make the delivery. A few minutes later John heard a baby crying.

"Say hello to your baby girl!" announced Dr. Coburn.

John sighed. He was a father. Everything went okay. He reached out to his baby. "Hi, there."

The nurse waited a little then took the baby away to get cleaned up.

Later John was settled in a room with his daughter. "So what are you going to call her?" asked Dave. He came to visit John
since he had nothing better to do.

"I don't know. I'm still trying to believe that she's actually here." John said. "I was thinking of naming her after a friend of mine."

"Who?" asked Dave.

"Lucy."

Dave nodded. "You know, that's really sweet of you."

"I think so too." John said, giving her a little kiss. "She'll be named Lucy."



Dave was the only one left who hadn't had a baby, yet. Dr. Coburn decided to induce labor, as his baby was almost two weeks late. Dave soon had a little boy of his own, which he named Erik Malucci. Kerry and Deb decided to visit him while he was still in the hospital.

"Finally a little Malucci to carry on the family name." said Dave. "I bet he'll be a real chip of the old block. Just like his daddy."

Kerry rolled her eyes. Deb groaned. "That's what I'm afraid of." she said.



End of Chapter Four


Baby Boom
Part Five


Author's Note: This is the last little installment. Thank you for reading all the way up to the end.



Things had majorly changed for Mark, John, Luka, and Dave.

Mark married Elizabeth and she had a baby of her own. They moved in together with their two boys, David and Dylan. Mark and Elizabeth continued to work at County. They were your average nuclear family with a dog, little league games, and GI Joe's.

Luka was so happy from the birth of his daughter Raquela that he switched from emergency medicine to pediatrics. He still continued to work at County. Despite his losses in war-torn Croatia, he finally was happy with a new family of his own.

John's rich grandparents immediately started a trust fund for Lucy. She grew up with lots of luxuries, but John prevented her from being too spoiled. John remained working at County, and he became Chief Resident.



Dave's son Erik was just like him. He teased girls at school and tried to kiss them. Dave thought it was funny and kept saying, "Like father, like son." Dave stayed at County and even dated Kerry for a while. Something that everyone thought would never happen. They broke up though, but still remained friends.

As for the Bubbling Brook Spring Water Bottling Company, the company's president Noah Strausser resigned, due to the pregnant male incident. His loyal employee, Jeffrey Thomas took over and kept the company running without problems.

Robert Romano had returned from his teaching rotation in California. He came down to the ER to see what was new.

"So Kerry, " he said. "Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

Kerry thought for a moment. She recalled the events surrounding Luka, Mark, Dave and John. "Nothing too unusual." she said.

"Oh." Romano seemed disappointed.

Just then John walked into the ER with Lucy. He was bringing her up to daycare before his shift.

"Hello, Dr. Romano." he said, checking in. Romano noticed the baby he was holding. He was curious why John had one.

Luka came in next with Raquela. "Good morning, Kerry, Robert." he said.

Romano was puzzled. "I'm not even going to ask."



The End!


Author's Notes
Raquela is actually an Italian name, not Croatian, and it doesn't mean "Lucky." My Croatian grandmother wasn't home, so I called my Italian grandmother for a name.

The phrase "Hairy Carrie" that Deb used is an insult I know all too well. I've actually been called that. And Verkman has been transformed into "Jerkman" so many times it's not even funny anymore. I used the idea from a real life experience.

Noah Strausser is part of Noah Wyle's full name. It's Noah Strausser Speer Wyle.

Erik Malucci is named for Erik Palladino.

Jeffrey Thomas (the guy from Bubbling Brook Water Company) is named after my friend Jeff, whose middle name is Thomas. Jeff's really cool, even though he didn't help me with this story.




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