Behind The Mask

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Melissa for her editing assistance. I'd be lost without her. As for the medical stuff, the surgery is something I made up. I did hear from Susan, who let me know that there is a procedure similar to what I put Carter through. She had it done and I am grateful to her for her input and willingness to answer my questions about her surgery and recovery.


When it was time to go upstairs to John's room, Doctor Matthews excused himself, knowing he was no longer needed at the hospital, and Chelsey Davis was no where in sight. Hank figured that she would know how to find John when she returned, so he went with Robert, Peter and the Carters to see how John was settling in. When they reached his room though, the door was closed, and they could hear raised voices inside. Or rather, one raised voice, and that was John's.

"Excuse me," Hank said to the others. "Why don't you find the waiting room while I find out what's going on?" He suspected that Chelsey was already inside with John, but he wanted to make sure before letting anyone else into the room.

"Don't make us wait too long," Matthew Carter said. He was anxious to see his grandson and see for himself that the boy was going to be all right.

"Hopefully it won't." Hank waited until the others had walked away before he knocked on the door and walked in. Sure enough, Chelsey was there, seated in a chair near the bed. She looked flustered. John looked upset.

"Is this a bad time? John's got some visitors waiting to see him." Hank asked.

"It's a bad time," Chelsey replied, while John said "It's okay."

The doctor and her patient stared at each other.

Hank cleared his throat. "Would anyone like to fill me in on what's going on?"

"She's overreacting to what happened today. She wants to tell them to put me on the Psych ward after my surgery tomorrow, and to keep me on a suicide watch for tonight."

"I never said that about tonight," Chelsey quickly replied.

"You didn't need to. I know the standard operating procedures," John testily replied. "Doctor Davis won't believe me when I tell her that everything's okay now."

"I've tried to explain this to you, John. While I'm gratified that you realized you wanted to live as you were drowning, it doesn't take away my fear that you might still be suicidal. You decided to kill yourself. You actually tried to kill yourself. It was just a case of dumb luck that you saw someone in trouble and decided to help her."

"I would prefer to think of it as something other than luck," John said.

Hank's eyebrows raised a bit. "I thought that you weren't sure about God."

"I'm not. But, I'm not blind to the fact that what happened might have happened for a reason. No one died today."

"And I want to make sure that you don't die tomorrow, or the next day. Or even two months from now. I'm very concerned that you reached the point of feeling that suicide was the only option you had." Chelsey said, her voice emphatic as she gestured toward John.

John sighed and looked over at Hank, his eyes pleading, "See what I mean? I can't reason with her."

Hank looked from his patient to his colleague and wisely kept quiet.

"I'd like to see my family and friends now. Is that okay?" John asked Hank, pointedly ignoring Chelsey.

"I'll go get them. Chelsey, why don't you come with me?"

"Fine." She followed Hank out of the room. "I'm still asking for him to be moved to Psych, Hank. By his own admission he tried to kill himself today. He should be on the Psych Ward."

"We'll talk about it later, okay?" Hank answered.

"You don't agree with me, do you?"

"I'm not sure. I said that we'd talk about it. Right now, John needs to see his family and friends. His mother and grandmother are on their way here and I just don't want him to get upset."

"Would you prefer him dead, Hank?" Chelsey angrily asked.

Hank placed a restraining hand on her arm as they came to a stop in the middle of the hallway. "Doctor Davis, I appreciate your concern for our patient, but I don't think he's in any danger at this particular moment. He needs to see his friends and his family. I already said that we would discuss this later and I meant just that. For now, I suggest that you drop it. I don't want his family getting worried by your behavior."

Hank's tone of voice and the fact that he called her "Doctor Davis" let Chelsey know that Hank was very serious about what he was saying. She nodded, reluctant to let the subject go for now, but seeing that she had no choice but to give in to Hank's demands. But she had no intention of relaxing her guard where John Carter was concerned. It bothered her a lot that neither she nor Hank had seen how depressed and desperate John had become and she was determined that his depression and desperation be addressed and dealt with.

With an outward appearance of being allies, Hank and Chelsey went into the waiting area.

************************************

That night in his hotel room, Robert sat with the television on, but his mind was not on what he was watching. Instead he was trying to figure out just what it was that Hank and Chelsey Davis had been hiding earlier at the hospital. Something was going on with Carter. Something that neither doctor wanted the rest of them to know about. Since he and Peter had to ride back with the Carter family, Robert didn't have a chance to see if Peter had picked up on the tension between Hank and Chelsey. Maybe in the morning, when they met at the hospital for Carter's surgery, Robert would get the chance to speak with Peter. Hank had already said that he wouldn't be there, since he did have patients at the clinic to see.

The ringing of the telephone caught Robert's attention and he answered it to find that it was his assistant, reminding him that he had a meeting with the Board of Directors in two days. He thanked her for reminding him then had her book his return flight to Chicago for tomorrow night. As much as he would have liked to stay in Atlanta, he did have obligations and responsibilities in Chicago. And aside from his work, he knew that Gretel would be anxious to see him. She didn't like staying in kennels, but he hadn't had time to find someone to house sit for him before he flew down, so he had no choice but to put her in one.

***********************************

Peter sat out on the balcony of his room, enjoying the cool night air. When he had finally had his chance to see Carter, he had found the young man tired but upbeat. A far cry from the other day when Peter had arrived there with Millicent and Matthew. Peter was glad that Carter was having the surgery and he hoped that it alone would do a lot to take care of the addiction problem. Now was the time for Carter's doctors to concentrate on the possibility that Carter was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Peter liked Hank Stephenson and Chelsey Davis and felt confident that they could help Carter. When Carter returned to Chicago, he would finally be on the road to a full recovery from the events of February 14th.

****************************************

The next morning, Robert arrived at the hospital to find that the Carters and Peter were already there. Carter had already gone to surgery, so all they could do was wait for it to be over.

The small group made small talk and Robert tried to get Peter alone to talk, but it ended up not working out. When he asked if Peter would go with him to get coffee, Millicent invited herself along. So, Robert decided to wait until later to talk to Peter to see if he had picked up on the tension between Hank and Chelsey.

When they spotted Laenger walking down the hallway toward them, everyone quit talking. The man had barely entered the room when Peter asked the question everyone wanted the answer for.

"How is he?"

"John's vitals are good. He has been extubated and is in recovery right now. The surgery went well." Laenger answered him as he sat down between Roland and Laura. "I have already explained this to John, but I wanted to go over what you should expect now that the surgery is done. For anywhere from six to twelve hours from now, John will be paralyzed from the incision on down. After twelve hours, he will slowly begin to regain feeling, with all sensation and movement returning by the next day. The big difference will be that John will no longer be in any pain in the lumbar plexus."

"Paralyzed?" Laura asked, her face now pale. "John didn't mention that to us. Is there any danger that it could be permanent?"

"Mrs. Carter, I wish I could sit here and tell you that nothing went wrong during surgery, but I cannot. No one can. I can tell you that I have done over a thousand of these procedures and nothing has gone wrong."

"You can't ask for better odds that that," Robert said.

Peter nodded his agreement, although he couldn't help but wonder if Carter would turn out to be the patient of Laenger's that did have complications. It was ironic that he still feared that Carter could be paralyzed from his injuries.

"We'll simply put our faith in God, dear." Millicent said as she gently clasped Laura's shaking hands in her own.

"A nurse will be out shortly to take you to see John. You will only be able to see him for a few minutes while he is in recovery, but once he is back in his room you can stay as long as you wish. And no limit on the number of visitors, either." Laenger told them.

"Thank you," Roland said. "For everything."

"You are most welcome, but I was only doing my job." Laenger replied. He got to his feet. "If you'll excuse me, I must get back to check on John. The nurse will be here in about ten minutes to take you to John."

Robert and Peter caught up to Laenger in the hallway.

"How did the surgery go?" Robert asked.

"As I told the Carters, everything went well," Laenger said.

"Surgeon to surgeon," Peter said.

Laenger smiled. "Walk with me and I will fill you in on all the details."

***************************************

As John regained consciousness for the second time that day, he saw his parents standing at his bedside.

"Mom?" he groggily asked.

"I'm here, honey," Laura grasped his hand with both of hers. "I'm here."

John slowly smiled. "I'm okay."

"I know. Doctor Laenger informed us of how your surgery went. John...baby, I'm sorry I wasn't there before."

John's brow furrowed in confusion. "You were here yesterday."

"I meant February. I should have been there in Chicago with you."

"Mom, I understand." John said as he gave one of her hands a slight squeeze. He knew how easy it was for his mother to get so upset that she made herself ill.

"I know you do, John, but you shouldn't have to understand it. I let my fears and worries get the better of me. I always do. But you needed me then and I let you down. I'm afraid I haven't been much of a mother to you or Barbara ever since Bobby died. I'm so sorry." Even though tears were running down her cheeks, Laura wasn't sobbing.

"Mom, you've been doing the best that you could. Under the circumstances, I couldn't ask for more."

"And you never did." Laura shook her head. "You had a right to ask, John."

The nurse gently touched Laura on the arm. "You need to leave now. It'll be a few more hours before Doctor Carter is back in his room. Why don't y'all go down to the cafeteria for a bite? Then you can spend the rest of the time waiting in his room for him."

Roland nodded at the nurse, then addressed John. "We'll see you in a few hours."

"Right," John replied with a sleepy smile. He knew that he should be trying to clear his mind of the cobwebs left over from the anesthesia, but his eyelids weren't cooperating with him.

Laura leaned over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek and then she left with Roland. With a sigh, John fell into a contented sleep.

***********************

After speaking with Laenger, Peter and Robert had headed to the cafeteria to grab a quick lunch. Even though they both wanted to see Carter, they knew he would want to see his family first.

They had just sat down when Robert announced that he would be returning to Chicago that night.

"I'd prefer to stay here, but I do have meetings to attend. Feel free to stay as long as you think is necessary, Peter."

"You're serious?"

"Of course I'm serious. I want to know that Carter's doing all right and I trust your judgment over anyone else's."

"Even your old friend Hank Stephenson?"

"Hank is a great doctor and an equally great friend. However, he doesn't know Carter like you do. And after the way he and Doctor Davis were behaving yesterday...well, I'm not so sure I would trust him to tell me everything I want to know."

Peter shook his head. "I don't follow you. I didn't notice anything strange."

"I did. Maybe it's because I've known Hank for such a long time. They were angry with each other. And earlier, before anyone saw Carter in the ER, Doctor Davis was almost secretive when she asked to speak with Hank alone."

"They are his psychiatrists."

"I'm well aware of that, Peter, but they're hiding something from us. I can just feel it."

They were silent for a few minutes as they ate. Peter didn't agree with Robert's view about Stephenson and Davis, but he knew it was pointless to argue with the man about it. There was something bothering him though, aside from Robert's willingness to let him stay in Atlanta indefinitely.

"Robert, why are you being so understanding about Carter's situation?"

Robert stared into his coffee. He could tell Peter the truth, but he wasn't entirely sure that he could trust Peter with it. "Let's just say that I find it easy to empathize with John Carter."

"I see."

"No, Peter, you probably don't. But, you don't need to, either. You haven't told Kerry that I'm here, have you?" Robert decided that it was a good time to change the subject.

"She hasn't asked," Peter replied.

"So, you have spoken with her."

"Kerry and Mark are very concerned about Carter. They want him better and back at work where he belongs. They've called me."

"I'm concerned about him, too. When I see them tomorrow, I'll bring them up to date on Carter's condition. Are you going to eat those chips?" Robert pointed to the potato chips on Peter's plate.

Peter shook his head as he pushed the plate toward Robert. He had more questions for him, but he knew that Robert wouldn't answer them. And Peter didn't want to risk making Robert angry with him by being too persistent. He didn't want Robert changing his mind and demanding that he return to Chicago with him. Carter needed him here and Peter wanted to stay until he knew that everything would be okay.

While they were eating, they saw the Carters enter the cafeteria, but they didn't join them. The Carters ate quickly, then left. Robert and Peter knew there was no hurry to get to Carter's room, he wouldn't be there yet.

When they did reach Carter's room though, they walked into an uproar. Roland, Millicent and Matthew were arguing with the charge nurse for the floor while Laura Carter sat silently in one of the chairs.

"What's going on?" Peter asked, only to be ignored.

"What's the problem here?" Robert used his best authoritative voice, but he was also ignored. "Excuse me," Robert raised his voice, finally getting their attention.

"Doctor Romano, thank God you're here. Maybe you can get this mess straightened out," Roland said.

The nurse, whose name tag identified her as "M. Deloatch, R.N.", sigh with exasperation as she turned her attention to Robert. "As I've been explaining to Mister Carter, there is no mess to straighten out. Once he's out of recovery, Doctor Carter will not be returning to this room. I have received very clear instructions from admitting to prepare this room for another patient."

"So where will he be taken?" Peter asked.

"I believe that he will be on the Psychiatric Ward. One of the orderlies from that department came for Doctor Carter's belongs right after Doctor Carter was sent up to surgery," the nurse replied.

"Why?" Robert asked.

"So Doctor Carter would have his things once he was settled into his new room," she patiently explained.

Peter could see Robert literally beginning to swell up with indignation and he interrupted before any insults were hurled. "Why is he being moved to the Psychiatric Ward?"

"I have no idea. You'll need to speak with his doctor about that, which is what I've been trying to tell Mister Carter."

"We spoke with Doctor Laenger and he didn't mention this." Robert said.

"You'll need to speak with Doctor Gates," she told him.

"Would you please page him here?" Peter asked, once more trying to head off a classic Romano insult.

"Well," she thoughtfully replied, "I suppose I could do that. Stay right here now." Then she left.

"Thank you. That woman was impossible," Roland said with a shake of his head.

"You're welcome. Charge nurses can be very obstinate," Robert said, not at all ill at ease for accepting thanks that had been directed at Peter.

"Why on earth would they even think about putting John there?" Millicent asked.

"I have no idea," Robert said. "But we'll get him back here where he belongs, Mrs. Carter."

"John being a patient at the clinic wouldn't be the reason for this, would it?" Matthew asked.

"No. If that were the case then they would have put John there when he was first admitted. It's very rare to send a patient there after surgery." Robert was genuinely puzzled and a little upset by the development.

Roland found himself wondering if John had told anyone else about the fact that he had tried to kill himself yesterday. If so, then maybe that was the reason. But, then wouldn't they have done as Robert said and put John there yesterday? He walked over to his wife, who had been silent ever since they had been told by the nurse that they couldn't stay in the room as John wasn't going to be coming back to it.

"You okay?" he asked.

Laura shook her head. "No. I don't understand any of this, Roland. It scares me."

Roland knelt down and took her hands in his, looking her directly in the eyes. "We will get this straightened out, dear. There's nothing to worry about. We'll get to the bottom of this soon."

"I hope so," she whispered, but her heart didn't believe him.

Doctor Gates walked into the room. "You paged me?"

"Yes." Robert approached him, his anger barely controlled. "Why the fuck is John Carter going to the Psych Ward when he's out of recovery?"



Part 9
Fanfiction Home