Behind the Scenes



DISCLAIMER: I also do not own the song "Moondance" by Van Morrison. This chapter has a major tissue warning!

Again Thank you ! Shelly and Cathy for all your help and wonderful suggestions.
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6-Supplies and Demands



Together John and Dave had tucked Maura into bed. John turned on the night lamp as Dave turned off the overhead light. Leaving the door slightly ajar they both headed to their own room.

They had all had a rather busy day and were very tired. Just as John and Dave were getting into bed the telephone rang.

"John Carter," he answered.

"Hello, John Carter it's Susan Lewis." She teased him about using his full name.

"Oh, hi, Susan," He shrugged at Dave as he walked into the living room. After a brief conversation, John had agreed to meet with Susan in the morning. He bade her goodnight and returned to his room.

"What was that all about?" Dave asked as John slipped into bed next to him, spooning his body around Dave's.

John had thought that maybe Susan's idea to try yoga for his back sounded like a good idea. He certainly didn't think it could hurt.

"That was Susan." She was calling to invite me to attend a yoga session with her, tomorrow morning before work." John spoke barely above a whisper yawning sleepily.

"Yoga? That's a good one, John." Dave furrowed his brow in disbelief, slightly turning towards John. "She says it might be helpful for my back." John became indignant as he curled up to go to sleep, burying his face in his pillow.

"Are you going to go?" Dave questioned, with a slight jealous tone, missing the loss of contact as John had rolled away from him.

"At this point, Dave I'm willing to try just about anything." John nestled under the covers ignoring Dave's attitude.

Even without being able to see John's face, Dave could tell that he was still in a lot of pain. Feeling bad that he upset John, Dave reached out and began to carefully rub John's back. Starting at the shoulders and along his neck, his entire body seemed to melt under Dave's gentle but strong manipulations.

"Lie on your stomach," Dave whispered as he reached for the massage oil. Coating his hands he straddled John and began to work the oil deep into his skin. Dave's hands were slick and warm, sliding strongly along his tense muscles, working each one, relieving the tightness. John could feel Dave's strong thighs straddling his hips, the physical contact reassuring him of their closeness. His hands knew John's back like his own, caressing every inch, as John relaxed under the touch.

John felt himself begin to drift. He felt as if he were floating, the pain leaving his body as it succumbed to the pressure from his lover's hands. John felt the soft kisses gently making a trail between his shoulder blades. He found himself smiling as he drifted off to a painless dreamland.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning, John met Susan at the community center at 6am. They shared a little friendly banter before going inside. John had no idea what to expect so he just decided to follow Susan's lead. Susan had shared some stories about how Little Suzie was getting so big and how surprisingly well Chloe had done over the last years.

At first, John seemed a bit annoyed at the fact that the light exercises were doing absolutely nothing for him. Susan remarked that it would take awhile to feel the effect as the purpose of yoga was to slowly strengthen and limber your muscles.

It wasn't until John had begun some rather awkward positions that he began to feel anything, but the unusual positions actually hurt more than they helped.

"This is doing nothing for my back," John groaned miserably. He was past the point of this being comfortable.

"Did you try some Tylenol?" Susan asked him, not understanding the implications of her question.

"No," He answered. He knew that he might need to, but reserved doing so for when it was otherwise too unbearable.

"Take some," Susan suggested, wondering why he was being so stubborn about it.

"I avoid pain medication," He argued, not ready to explain why.

"If you're going to be macho about pain, than you can't whine about it," she teased him unmercifully.

"What's with you and that nurse?" Susan asked. She had noticed the way John seemed to watch every move Abby made. She had seen them talking together and they seemed to have a very close relationship.

"Nurse?" Abby was the last thing on his mind at the moment so the question took him by surprise.

"Abby?" Susan commented.

"What do you mean?" He moaned painfully, the position he was in at the moment was hurting his back and he was finding it hard to concentrate. He moved into a position that seemed to be more comfortable for him.

"It just seems that there's something there." She observed, as she watched his reaction, noting that he seemed to be in a bit of pain. 'He seems too young and active to be having back problems,' she thought to herself.

"We're friends." John skipped around the subject as best he could. Abby was his friend, his best friend as a matter of fact. That was all it was ever going to be but a part of him still could not keep from wishing otherwise. He really didn't need someone else reminding him of that fact.

"It's actually undefined with Abby, she just broke up with Luka." He turned and looked at her. He knew that he had had feelings for Abby and sort of still did, but things were different now. Way different.

"I get it. You don't want to be the rebound guy." She seemed to think she understood.

"Not exactly." How was he supposed to explain to her that he belonged to Dave? And that's the way it was, the way he wanted it to be. He just was not ready to share that information with anyone yet.

~~~~~~~~

The ER had been relatively quiet when John was approached by one of his new med students. Stanley had been around long enough to notice that Dr. Carter seemed to have a serious problem with his back and felt quite certain that he could help.

"Dr. Carter, you really should let me take a look at your back." Stanley began to explain all about his alternative training in acupuncture.

John only heard about half of what Stanley was saying, but decided that it was worth a try. After all, Susan's suggestion had not helped, and he had told Dave that he was willing to try just about anything and he was.

"So how long is this going to take?" John asked, knowing that while working he didn't have much time to spare.

"Only a few minutes, you should feel results almost immediately." Stanley encouraged him to follow him into an empty exam room. John un-tucked his shirt and unbuttoned it far enough to be able to pull it up out of the way. As he lay face down on the gurney and pulled the shirt tail up he heard the sharp intake of Stanley's breath as he noticed the twin scars on John's lower back.

"Don't ask," John pleaded as he tried to relax, allowing Stanley to begin inserting the long thin needles into his back, he was soon so relaxed that he thought he could easily fall asleep. He was just beginning to fully enjoy the experience when Abby rushed in and called him away.

Even though their session had been interrupted John was pleasantly surprised that it had actually seemed to work. He would have to remember to try it again in a more private surrounding with no interruptions, maybe even make an appointment with a professional. Stanley had given him a couple of names of doctors that he could check out.

~~~~~~~~~

John was on his way to pick Dave up from work after he had finished his shift. He was thinking about the walk he had taken with Abby on his last break. Abby told him that she had been waiting for something to happen between them. Not really knowing what to tell her, he basically blew her off.

Deep down he was angry, angry that she had taken so long, angry that he had to hurt her the way he had. Here it was the 1st of November and it had been almost 6 months since he had tried to tell her how he had felt. 'Why now?', he thought as he pulled up alongside the hospital.

Dave had been waiting for him, and he quickly got inside of the Jeep, barely giving John a chance to come to a complete stop. On their way home, John stopped at a coffee shop.

"Dave, I'm going to have to tell Abby sooner or later. She thinks that she still has a chance with me and I'm not sure just what I should tell her. I think for now she thinks I may be interested in Susan." John had just finished explaining to Dave the conversation that he had with Abby.

"Are you?" Dave asked.

"God, Dave, I can't believe that you would even ask me that."

"Maybe you ought to just fuck her and get her out of your system." Dave sat back and casually drank his coffee.

"No. Dave, that's the problem. I don't want to just fuck her." John had to bite back his anger at Dave's remark. "I don't want to hurt her and I have made my choice as to whom I want to be with, but I still care for her and I don't want to lose her as a friend. That's why I think I should tell her the truth." John threw a ten-dollar bill on the table and walked away.

The ride home was quiet. Dave had apologized for his rude comments and they had agreed to just drop the subject.

~~~~~~~~

Marie had decided to go back to New York. She had stayed a little over a week and she didn't want to wear out her welcome. The boys seemed to be getting along just fine with Maura and she was pleased with the nanny they had chosen.

After Gamma's little dinner party with Kathryn, they had all agreed that she would be the perfect nanny for Maura. She understood that she would have to make herself available 24/7 and would even stay at the house in the guestroom when necessary. After John and Dave had explained what their work schedules were like she fully understood what was expected of her. Furthermore she didn't seem to be the least bit bothered by the idea that John and Dave were a couple, and still very much in the closet about it.

The following morning, John had make arrangements for Marie to return home. Dave had given his mom money for her to send Maura's belongings. John and Dave both assured her that she was welcome to come and visit anytime she wanted to. After breakfast John and Maura had taken Marie to the airport. Dave had to go to work and John had offered to watch Maura and see his mother off. John had told Marie that he had never baby-sat before and he wasn't really sure what to do. Marie thought that John was so sweet as she reassured him that he was doing just fine. Maura had warmed up to John almost immediately.

~~~~~~~~

In the airport lounge, Maura lay wrapped up in John's arms, together they were watching couples ice-skating on the large TV screen.

"They dance real pretty on the ice," Maura exclaimed happily, tipping her head back and looking up at him.

"Do you know how to ice-skate?" John peered back down at her, with a big smile plastered across his face.

"No." She chimed; her wide eyes stared back at him.

"Would you like to learn?" He asked, smiling broadly towards her.

Maura knelt up on his lap and nodded her head. "I don't have any skates." She smashed her face affectionately against John's.

"Well, we'll just have to get you some." He rubbed her nose with his, causing her to giggle.

Marie was pleased to see how well they were getting along. She also knew that not only would Maura be greatly loved but she would also be well cared for in more ways than one.

Marie said her good-byes before boarding the plane. She kissed Maura and promised to visit soon as Maura gave her grandmother a big hug. Marie hugged John and asked him to take care of both Maura and Dave.

"Come on." John held Maura's coat open to help her put it on.

~~~~~~~~

John stopped at a large department store on the way home. Shopping with a 4-year-old was more than he had bargained for. After trying on several pairs, John finally managed to get Maura a pair of pink ice-skates and some heavy socks. With the assistance of an overly helpful sales woman, he also got Maura a pink and white snowsuit, mittens and a pink snow cap with a big white pompom on top, to keep her warm on the ice. John had the feeling that he was probably going a bit overboard but he didn't mind spoiling her a little bit.

John drove back up the long driveway, stopping in front of the house and turning off the key, pulling it out of the ignition, he took it with him. He told Maura that he would only be a minute. He quickly ran upstairs and grabbed his blades and a ski jacket. While in his closet, he spotted his portable boombox; checking for batteries, he grabbed it along with a couple of CD's.

Before leaving the house, he let Corrine know where he was going. Getting back into the Jeep, he drove down to the cabin by the frozen lake. Releasing Maura from the seat belts and out of her booster seat he helped her put on the snowsuit. The sales woman had shown him that it was just like putting on a coat. After zipping it up and putting on her skates, he carried her along with the boombox over to a wooden bench and set her down while he put on his own skates.

John turned on the CD player before helping her get to her feet, allowing her time to get use to the skates as they walked the short distance to the frozen ice. The music of Van Morrison was playing loudly in the background.

"I'm scared." She clung tightly to his leg not wanting to let go of him.

"It's okay. Just give me your hands, I won't let you fall." He took her hands and held onto her until she felt safe, her little body still stiff and unsure.

"Now just relax." He held her firmly as they stepped onto the ice. "Keep your feet together for me." He laughed as her tiny wobbly legs began to spread apart out of her control. He held her hands as he faced her. Skating backwards, he pulled her along the ice until she got the feel of her balance.

Her knees buckled under her as she began to fall to the ground. In one swoop, John caught her up into his arms before she fell, both laughing hysterically. John held her against his chest as he swirled around the ice. He was her Prince Charming, handsome and graceful as they floated together over the ice. Noticing her stare, he began to sing along with the song.

"Well, it's a marvelous night for a Moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush"
~~~

She was beginning to get a bit heavy in his arms as his back began to remind him that he needed to be careful. He put her down and again held onto her as he helped her to try again. This time, a bit more confident, she took a few steps forward still holding tightly to his hands.

"That's great." John smiled. Soon Maura was skating on her own and John had begun to show her a few simple moves. They had spent almost an hour on the ice before John noticed that she was getting tired.

~~~~~~~~

Dave arrived home from his shift and went straight upstairs. Becoming a bit concerned for not finding anyone around, he went back down to the kitchen.

"Where are they? Corrine, do you know? John should have brought Maura back here hours ago." He asked frantically. Just at that moment, John walked in, carrying Dave's daughter.

"What's wrong with her? What happened? Is she hurt?" Dave panicked as he grabbed the child away from John.

"Relax Dave, she's just sleeping, I guess the ice-skating wore her out." He casually stated, while taking off his gloves and coat.

"Ice-skating? She doesn't know how to ice-skate." Dave shouted angrily.

Well, she does now." John exclaimed, feeling quite proud of himself and of the fun that they had. He didn't quite understand why Dave seemed angry.

Corrine was helping Dave get her out of the snowsuit. "You really should have had this washed before letting her wear, it, Dr. John." Corrine scolded.

Maura awoke from all the commotion and hugging Dave tightly around the neck, she spoke in a small sleepy voice. "Daddy John took me ice-skating."

"You taught MY daughter how to ice-skate?" Dave shot John a dirty look. "And now you have her calling you Daddy John?" Dave yelled. He took one look at John's face and instantly regretted his tone.

John suddenly understood why Dave was angry, he became angry with himself. Angry because he had misunderstood this entire arrangement. As rage and embarrassment overtook his whole body, he lashed out with words. "Thanks, Dave thanks a lot," he spat. "I get it now." John turned and stormed up the stairs. Dave left Maura with Corrine. "Oh my God, what have I done now?" He ran after John.

Dave walked into the room as John paced furiously back and forth across his bedroom floor. John's coat had been thrown across the room along with his gloves. By now the tears had completely stained both cheeks as he made an attempt to wipe them away with his sleeve.

"I am so sorry, John." Dave stood his distance. " I just freaked when I saw you carrying her into the house. I thought something had happened to her."

"I told you she was only sleeping. I guess I just read this whole thing all wrong." John collapsed into a large chair, still feeling hurt, angry and also very tired.

"What thing? What are you talking about?" Dave looked confused as he knelt down in front of John.

"All of this. You, us, Maura, I…I… thought we were supposed to be a…." John again tried to hold back the tears. He pushed past Dave as he made his way into the bathroom. Gathering up a hand full of tissues he blew his nose and washed his face.

"What are you talking about? A what?" Dave was still totally in the dark.

"A family, Dave, I thought we were supposed to be a family. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry for assuming that you wanted to share your daughter with me. And just for your information she called me that on her own, I had nothing to do with it, but I certainly wasn't going to tell her that she couldn't." John walked out of the room and just kept going. Dave heard the Jeep pull out of the driveway as he brought Maura upstairs to give her a bath.

"Why was Daddy John upset?" Maura asked Dave as he tucked his little girl into bed. It had been almost two hours since John had left the house and Dave was really beginning to worry about him.

Maura's question made Dave's heart melt. He felt really terrible that he had hurt John the way he did. He just hoped that John would forgive him and that the three of them could really be a real family.

"Because Daddy was really stupid and said some things to hurt his feelings. When he comes home I am going to tell him I'm sorry and hope that I can made it all better." He leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"If you kiss him that might make him feel better." Maura offered. "That's what Grandma does when I am sad." Her tiny voice, so full of wisdom, made Dave feel like such a jerk.

"I'll give it a try. " Dave smiled as he said goodnight.

"Is that a promise?" John asked as he walked into the room.

"Daddy John!" Maura squealed with delight, happy to see him she jumped up on the bed and reached up to offer him a hug.

After John gave Maura a big hug and kissed her on the forehead he proceeded to tuck her back in.

Dave took John's hand and gave him a kiss. "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Forgive me?"

John kissed Dave back as they both looked to see Maura was already fast asleep.



Part 7
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