Best I Ever Had

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay, I know this hasn't been very hot so far, but things are going to heat up quite a bit in this section. So here you go, enjoy!


We soon found ourselves back at my apartment. I unlocked the door, told Carter to make himself comfortable and went to go change out of my work clothes. In my bedroom I found myself wanting to put on lingerie, to come out into the living room in it and to see what Carter would do, how he'd respond. I didn't think that he'd respond favorably though. So, instead, I put on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

I emerged back into the living room to find Carter settled down on the couch, his tie and jacket off and the top button of his shirt undone. He looked up at me, when I entered the room again. I briefly wondered where to sit, if I should sit on the other side of the room or if I could sit next to him. Carter and I had sat next to each other on other occasions and nothing had happened, there was no reason to expect anything different this time. I settled down next to him on the couch. There was a little bit of room between us, no reason for us to be touching.

He sighed. "Did I tell you what Mark told me?"

"No, what?" I asked, glad for the relief of a topic to talk about, even if it was Mark.

"He told me I set the tone." Carter said with a sigh. "I'll miss him."

"Me too..." I said with a sigh. I thought about what I'd done to Mark, how I was such a bad friend that I couldn't have told him the truth and instead ran away to Phoenix not to have to deal with it. Before I knew it, my eyes had filled with tears.

"Oh, Susan." Carter said gently and pulled me into his arms. I sniffled against his chest. I was probably getting his shirt all wet, but he didn't seem to care.

"I'm a horrible person," I murmured.

"What? No, Susan, you're not a horrible person" Carter replied and gently started to stroke my hair.

"Yeah, I am. You don't understand." I sniffled.

"Well, how about you tell me?" He said gently, holding me tighter against him.

"Mark loved me, Carter," I said into his chest.

"I know" Carter replied stiffly.

"He loved me and I didn't love him back, but I didn't know how to tell him without hurting him and making it awkward to see him every day, so I ran away." I admitted.

"Oh, Susan" Carter replied, sounding relieved. "You never loved him?"

"Not as anything more than a friend, he is... was like my brother." A fresh set of tears started rolling down my face.

Carter was quiet as he held me close, and started to gently rub my back.

When I finally regained the ability to speak, I explained "This is what I do, guys fall in love with me and I can't tell them that I don't feel the same way, so I flee. I tried to love Dix, so I accepted his proposal but as the wedding drew closer, I realized I couldn't go through with it so I broke it off and I fled."

Carter was silent, and then he asked softly, "Is that what happened with me? You didn't know how to tell me either?"

I looked up at him, "No, Carter, no, no, that was entirely different"

"How?" He asked looking down into my eyes.

"It just... it was, okay?" I said avoiding his glance.

"No, not okay, how was it different?" Carter pressed.

"What does it matter? It's over" I sighed.

"Humor me" Carter said, slightly annoyed.

I sighed and moved back down the couch. "Carter, you... you don't feel anything when we kiss" I said simply

"If I recall correctly, you said that, not me" Carter replied looking me directly in the eye.

"And you agreed, remember?" I responded.

Carter looked away and was silent for a moment. I was about to change the subject and say something different when he looked back, directly into my eyes, and before I could do anything, he bent in towards me. I found myself moving towards him instinctively before my mind could even react and our lips were on each other. Kissing Carter was always an incredibly pleasurable experience; he was one skilled kisser, that's for certain. This time, like all the others, I was swept away into a world where nothing existed, nothing but Carter and I.

When we finally came up for air after what seemed to be a second and an eternity at the same time, I know my cheeks must have been flushed but I was surprised by what I saw in his eyes, they were smoldering with desire. No, this couldn't be, Carter couldn't want me.

"Still feeling nothing?" He said, his voice much deeper than normal.

Unable to speak, I shook my head. I had NEVER felt nothing, and might have told him so if I was able to form actual words.

"Me neither." Carter said, and then leaned in for another exploration of my mouth.

I greeted his kiss eagerly and let my tongue explore the inside of his mouth; it felt wonderful. A thought came into my head then and I pulled back suddenly.

"We can't," I said, as our kiss broke.

"Why not?" Carter said, changing his target from my lips to my neck.

"Because" I replied uneasily.

"Because isn't a reason, Susan" He murmured into my neck and then went back to nibbling.

I tried to keep my mind focused, but it was increasingly difficult as Carter's hands began to wander down my body and found the hem of my shirt.

"Because if you don't stop, I'm going to end up having sex with you" I blurted out.

Carter looked up then and slowly grinned. "And the problem with that would be?"

"You don't want to have sex with me, Carter" I said with a sigh.

He grabbed my hand and placed it on his crotch and whispered in my ear, "I think that pretty much means I do want you, Susan"

Carter was hard as a rock. He was hard... for me. The thought excited me more than anything ever has.

He continued to whisper in my ear, his breath hot against my neck, "I want you, Susan. I've wanted you for years, I wanted you since I was med student."

I turned my head and captured his mouth with my own, disabling him from saying anything further. He eagerly responded to my kiss and his hands slid under my shirt. He made a groan of disappointment deep in his throat.

"What?" I said breaking our kiss long enough. Didn't he like what he was feeling? Oh, god, I really AM repulsive to him.

"You're wearing a bra", he grumbled in disappointment.

It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. Here I thought that Carter didn't like what he was feeling, but he was incredibly put out by the fact that he couldn't easily touch my breasts. I then got an idea. I had learned and perfected this trick years ago to excite a former lover. I reached around my back, then moved my arms a little, and finally pulled my bra out my sleeve and deposited it on Carter's lap.

"Problem solved," I told him.

His breathing increased rapidly and his eyes went wide when I did that. He pinned me down against the couch and began to kiss me again with even more urgency than before while his hands wandered up under my shirt and began to cup my breasts. If I'd known what kind of response this would have gotten, I would have dumped my bra in his lap months ago. He found my nipple and all thoughts disappeared from my mind. I began to unbutton his shirt in a hurry. He stopped all of a sudden and grabbed my hands before they could undo any more buttons.

"Leave my shirt on" He said quietly

"Huh?" It seemed like a weird request. What kind of guy liked to make love with a shirt on? I briefly wondered if Carter was the type that left his socks on to make love to, when I realized with a start why he didn't want me to take his shirt off. The stabbing, of course, he had scars from that and the surgeries, he didn't want me to see them.

"Just leave it on, okay?" He said uneasily.

"Carter, it's okay, I don't mind scars. Haven't you ever heard that chicks dig scars?" I looked up into his eyes.

"They're... they're not that pretty. Well, that's an understatement" He said unsure of himself.

"I DO want your shirt off, but if you would rather do it yourself, that's okay." I said gently. How could he think that I wouldn't find him attractive? The man was beyond hot, I'd been dreaming of him for the past eight years.

He slowly got up and began to unbutton his shirt. As soon as it was open enough, I saw why he was upset. He looked nervously at me as he shed his shirt.

"Turn around" I said quietly.

He obliged and I got a full view of the ones on his back. God, the man came far too close to dying. Far too close to never being in my life again. I got up and went over to him. I gently touched the scars, then I bent down and began to place kisses down each one. When I had covered each of them, I looked up and tears were rolling down his face. I stood and gently kissed the salty trails down his cheeks then brushed my lips against his. He tenderly kissed back, then with more desire. My hands wandered over his bare chest, feeling, touching as I'd been dreaming of for years. His hands found my jeans and began to undo them. He unzipped them and pushed them down. He seemed disappointed for a second that I was wearing underwear, until his hands discovered what kind of underwear I was wearing. He stopped kissing me and looked with great interest.

"A thong?" He whispered into my ear.

"Yup, I always wear them" I responded, unbuckling his belt.

"Always?" He asked his eyes widening.

"Always" I unbuttoned his pants.

"God, Susan..." he breathed, and then began to raise the hem of my shirt. I got his pants undone, then raised my arms so he could take my shirt off me. He smiled slowly as he finally saw my chest. I pushed his pants down and then slipped my hands under the waist of his boxers. I reached down and began to gently stroke his penis and was rewarded with a low moan from deep in his throat. He pulled down my thong and I stepped out of it. The slight break gave him time enough to step out of the puddle of his pants and boxers and kick off his shoes and socks. Now both naked we finally saw each other's bodies fully. Carter looked better than I ever dreamed, scars and all.

Carter was the one to finally break the silence. "We wasted those months". He eyed me up and down and grinned. I certainly don't think I look spectacular naked, but apparently Carter saw something he liked. If it were at all possible, I would say he was even harder than he'd been when I felt him through his pants earlier.

I considered going to the bedroom, it would at least be more comfortable in there, but the more I looked at Carter, the more I realized I had to have him then. I'd waited too damn long for this.



Part 4
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