Big Brother

AUTHOR: Anna Rousseau
RATING: PG-13 (language)
ARCHIVE: Feel free to archive- just tell me where
DISCLAIMER: Big Brother and ER are owned by their respective creators.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, Monica responded to mine, so I'm returning the favour, I hope this doesn't seem similar to any other responses, for the record, I haven't read any yet. Enjoy. Oh and just for fun, lets all vote on the evictions and have some interactivity. What can I say, I love writing interactive fics.
SUMMARY: Response to a challenge set by Monica to write a story about the ER staff.

BIG BROTHER: Welcome to the beginning of a spectacular televisual feast, yes 'Big Brother' the show that lets you nose in on other people's lives. This time we are placing 10 medical professionals inside the Big Brother house where they will be isolated from all outsiders and will be made to take orders from Big Brother, a person they all know, but will not be identified till the end of the competition. [Viewers now recognise the voice]

As all of you will know, these aspiring yuppies will compete for the grand prize- the chance of a promotion and better hours. They will be assigned tasks and chores, and will have no privacy for the duration of their stay.

The view you are now seeing is the outside of the Big Brother compound-- wait a second, that's...oh my it is, it's Kerry Weaver's beautifully decorated Chicago town house, now refitted against her will with chickens in the backyard and a kitchen void of her expensive French stoves and culinary implements. My, my, what is she going to think about this?


BIG BROTHER: Already conflict is present in the Big Brother house as the girls battle it out over beds and heirarchy outside the ER.

KERRY: {Waving stick frantically and shouting} This is my house, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some resident tell me which bed is mine!

CLEO: {Crosses her arms and sighs} Kerry, I just thought it would be easier if we assigned beds instead of fighting over them.

KERRY: Dr. Weaver, DO NOT call me Kerry! {she continues to wave stick threateningly}

JING-MEI: We're just, um-

ABBY: Gonna check on the coffee.

{JING-MEI and ABBY slip out of the bedroom, trying not to be noticed}

CLEO: This isn't the ER *Kerry*, you are not the boss now.

KERRY: Get your stuff off my bed!

CLEO: I appreciate that this is your house, and if it bothers you so much-

ELIZBETH: Come on, now ladies, I really-

KERRY: Don't get into this Elizabeth.

CLEO: God, if it's gonna cause so much trouble, have the bed I don't care!

{CLEO puts her hands on her hips as KERRY throws CLEO's bags off the bed and jumps on it. ELIZABETH quietly sorts her stuff into the specially installed wardrobes, drawing a cocktail shaker from one bag}

ELIZABETH: Cosmopolitan anyone?


BIG BROTHER: So, its about time we meet Kerry Weaver, MD. This is what she had to say a week ago.

KERRY: {Video of her in a trauma} I didn't decide to apply for this programme, my Chief of Staff did....push 5 of lidocaine! I'd say I was quite outgoing, loyal, helpful- I get on with most people...god Malucci, did you actually attend med school or use it as a holiday?... I keep my temper, cool and composed, that's me- get out Malucci, now, before I kill you!

BIG BROTHER: Dr Kerry Weaver, Chief of the ER, but how will she fare in her own home when she is forced to live with her collegues and confront her Hate/Hate relationship with Dave Malucci.


BIG BROTHER: Things are more lighthearted in the men's quarters, a tastefully decorated basement room. But serious matters have not deserted the doctors quite yet.

CARTER: No, Dave. I refuse to sleep in the bed next to yours! {He moves his stuff to the other side of the room}

DAVE: Why, man?

CARTER: Dave, I hate to break this to you, but you snore and talk in your sleep.

DAVE: Yeah right {unpacks his clothes}.

LUKA, MARK and PETER simulateneously: Yes you do!

DAVE: Whoa, man! How do you lot know, this is creeping me out!

MARK: Maybe it's the fact that you are constantly asleep on the night shift.

CARTER: Believe me, I only made the mistake once of sleeping in the gurney next to yours during a 24 hour shift.

DAVE: Whatever {moves his stuff to the bed next to Carter's}.

ELIZABETH: {puts her head around the door} Cosmos?

MARK: It's two in the afternoon! {zips up his bag} Coming you lot?

LUKA: Sure, I'll need an aspirin, those two are already giving me a headache! {Grins at Dave and Carter}

DAVE: If you think this is bad...{shakes his head}

{MARK, LUKA and DAVE leave the room, PETER walks over to CARTER}

PETER: {Hand on shoulder} Hey, man. I was you got all your medication sorted.

CARTER: {leans back onto bed} Mmm, I to talk to someone about that, my prescription couldn't be given in advance. I think I need to talk to 'the powers that be' about that one.

PETER: Are you sure you want to do this?

CARTER: I don't think I have a choice...Dr. Benton?

PETER: Yeah?

CARTER: {In a hushed tone} If I know...I have nightmares...and...

PETER: Don't worry about it.


BIG BROTHER: Dr. Carter is the first member of the group to talk to Big Brother, in the soundproofed pantry ajoining the kitchen.

CARTER: {Sits down in a strange shaped chair} Umm- Hi? Oh, I...umm. I need to ask a question about my prescription medication. Is it possible for me to have it updated, oh...not without a it is possible? Thank you....umm...bye.

{Exits the room- we see Carter go back to the bedroom and start counting the medication he has left, taking the daily dosage with a glass of water}

BIG BROTHER: Carter is in definate pain throughout the day, due to the cutback in pain medication after a stint in rehabilitation- but what injury causes this pain we do not know. We spoke to the other members earlier...

{sound bites with accompanying video}

MARK: Umm, I don't think it's my place to say.

KERRY: I don't want to talk about it.

JING-MEI: Yes, John was in a horrible and traumatic situation and if he wants you to know- he'll tell you.


BIG BROTHER: A few hours later, the girls have segregated themselves from the boys and have retired to the spacious living room, whilst the men are barbecuing outside.

PETER: Whoa, man! {Sprays C02 over the BBQ} You better keep a hold of this.

DAVE: Luka, the idea is to cook the food, not burn it! {Watches on as another piece of steak goes up in flames}

LUKA: The fat caught on fire. {Quietly} I'm not very good at this barbecue thing.

DAVE: Why, don't they have barbeques in Croatia? {he receives a withering glance}

LUKA: Last spring we, doesn't matter, long story {gives a half-hearted smile}.

DAVE: {Waves at camera} Hey, there! You people got anthing better to do that watch us barbecue?

CARTER: {grins} I see Dr. Malucci here is nominating himself for eviction.

DAVE: {panic stricken} Whoa, man! I didn't say nothing about that!

CARTER: Right. {Adds some burgers to the grill} So, what do you think they're talking about?

LUKA: Who?

CARTER: Deb, Abby, Elizabeth-

MARK: Umm, after a few rounds of Elizabeth's

{Cut to living room, where the women are lounging on the beautifully apholstered settees, laughing hysterically}

ELIZABETH: Abby, who'd *you* say has the best arse? {pours more drinks, it appears she is the only one who cn hold her liquor.}

ABBY: {Slurred and giggly} Well, I can't say that you get much of a view with those lab coats in the way...but the docs in the ER are much better looking than OB- I've said it once, and I don't mind saying it again.

CLEO: So, Abby- *who* do you think's the cutest? {Downing the last of her drink and picking up a bottle of vodka, swigging it from the bottle}

ABBY: Well, we all know Dr. Malucci thinks he's quite something.

JING-MEI: {laughs} Tell me about it, did you see him posing infront of the two-way mirrors. He's so sure he's gonna win.

KERRY: He has another thing coming to him, he'll be the first one out- the people at home will hate him.

ABBY: Aww, come on...he has one thing going for him.

ELIZABETH: What's that?

ABBY: He has a great butt. {The women laugh as they all have their glasses filled to the top}

KERRY: If he were just slightly less egotistical and a competent doctor, he might be quite something.

JING-MEI: He is the vainest person I've ever met...wearing those tight jeans all the time.

ABBY: You know who I'd like to see in a pair of tight jeans? {In a hushed, cryptic tone}?

CLEO: Who?

ABBY: Carter, I bet that he has a great ass. {makes a gesture with her hands, clearly showing she is totally uninhibited}

JING-MEI: {laughs} I don't think I've ever seen John in anything but slacks or khakis, not that I would mind-

KERRY: The dirt is finally dished- just how well did you two know each other?

JING-MEI: Truth?

ELIZABETH: Of course!

JING-MEI: Couldn't stand each other. {They laugh, gradually getting more drunk}

ABBY: But you have to admit, he is totally, drop-dead cute.

ELIZABETH: Did Carter ever tell you that he rented at Kerry's?

JING-MEI: Really? {eyes wide as she swallows another cocktail glass full of Elizabeth's Cosmopolitan} So, what happened.

KERRY: One of the best tenents I've had, tidy, considerate, quiet- well that depended on who he had company with {smiles}, he and Roxanne had a pretty energetic love life.

ELIZABETH: I never liked that tart. {commenting without any real relevence}

KERRY: Appauling at cooking, mind you...

ABBY: I bet it was worth it, just to see him with his hair mussed up in the morning. {She is now the drunkest one out of the whole group- just imagine Rachel in the Friends eppy in Las Vegas and your there} Oh my god, he is so cute, cute, cute, cute, cute...{giggles uncontrollably}

ELIZABETH: {Now, getting intoxicated and starting to slur} The best thing is, I bet he doesn't know it like Malucci does. But what about Luka, eh, I wouldn't mind accidently bumping into him in the wash room, if you get what I mean. {her tone slow and suggestive}

ABBY: Cute! {laughs again, Jing-Mei buries Abby's head under a pillow}

CLEO: But what about Mark?

ELIZABETH: I'm attached, not dead!

KERRY: {light heartedly} If Elizabeth wasn't with Mark- I'd bet you she'd be through 'em by now!

ELIZABETH: {chuckles} Now, Peter was someone who looked good in about anything-

CLEO: {suspicious, yet slightly more relaxed} -preferably nothing.

ELIZABETH: {hits the resident with a cushion} Cleo!

CLEO: {laughs} Well excuse me for breathing!

ELIZABETH: {sighs} This is what I really miss, I night in with the girls and a cocktail shaker. The last time I did this was two years ago with Carol and Anna...hmm.

KERRY: Why wasn't I invited?

ELIZABETH: {laughs} I didn't really think you were a drinker.

KERRY: Pass me the vodka...{shakes her head, now even more drunk than when we saw her at the end of 'Stuck On You}, the *whole* bottle.

JING-MEI: {looks under pillow, slightly distressed} Hey, guys, umm I don't think Abby is concious.

ELIZABETH: There's a liquor that can't hold her girl!

JING-MEI: Hey, Abby, wake up!

ABBY: {Suddenly} Did I say, I think he's very very cute?

JING-MEI: Yes, and I think you are very, very drunk.


BIG BROTHER: Supper passes without incident, the girls are barely concious as they eat the meal, painstakingly burnt, um I meant cooked by Luka.

LUKA: So, Abby {comes around the table to serve her} What do you want?

ABBY: {in a low, seductive tone} Wouldn't you like to know! {laughs into her napkin, soon followed by the others, the men are oblivious to the conversation that preceeded dinner}

BIG BROTHER: But this show isn't about smutty jokes, though we would all like it to be, so after dinner, the group was presented with the week's task.


{In the lounge, Kerry Weaver, still only slightly sober after being hooked to a continuous IV of coffee}

KERRY: {Picks her way through the crowd and stands on the table to get everybodies attention- knocking over a few glasses on the way} Hey, everybody.

{The staff keep chatting, Abby is postioning herself pretty much uncomfortably close to Carter}

KERRY: I said, SHUT UP! {Silence echoes in the room, we can hear a penny drop, or a swiss roll} Thank you. I have just received a task from Romano...oh, I mean Big Brother.

{Everyone gasps}

CARTER: Hey, you're telling us that Romano is behind all this?

MARK: I knew it, that bas-

ELIZABETH: I bet he got us out here so he can get other people to do out jobs, that wan-

MALUCCI: Hey, hey, enough with the may hysteria already!

KERRY: Come on, it's teambuilding, at least we aren't building towers out of office furniture, or doing that game where you pass an apple around, chin to chin.

ABBY: I wouldn't mind that {shimmies closer to Carter, who moves quickly to the other side of the room}

KERRY: Ok, there are two tasks for this week, the first is to reintegrate with an old collegue. Who, I am told is at the front door.

{Everyone rushes to the front door, Mark prays it isn't Susan Lewis, Carter isn't sure if he wants any of his ex's turning up- and Kerry definately doesn't want it to be Doug Ross}

{Kerry steps forwards and opens the door}


i) Susan Lewis
ii) Anna Del Amico
iii) Doug Ross
iv) Carol Hathaway
v) 'Bob'
vi) Jerry Markovic
vii) Other


a) They all have to do what one staff member says for the next week. State who.

b) What do you think the task should be?

Vote via a.t.e.c. (voting closed)

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