I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands
In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit
The darkness seemed to be getting darker as the rain fell. The rain fell heavily during the early morning hours. The street light across the street from the hotel were shining brightly into their room. The sleeping figure of a man was easily visible in the bed, the comforter wrapped around him, his arm extended, as if it were wrapped around someone else, who was no longer there.
That someone else was sitting by the window, staring at the rain as it fell. She sighed as she stared at the old homeless man who was looking through a trashcan down in the street. His clothes all torn and wet, he seemed desperate for something, even if it were an apple thrown away from the breakfast the day before.
Turning her focus from the window, she looked over to the man fast asleep in the bed. A tear fell from her face as she did. Quickly wiping it away, she held her head in her hands, as a million thoughts rushed through her head.
Suddenly, a sound came from across the room as the man opened his eyes.
"Abby?" he whispered, sitting up. "Abby, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing Luka, go back to sleep." she said, her head still in her hands. Pushing her hair back, she looked up enough to see him.
"Come back to bed." he said, pulling the comforter back. "Come on, we can still get a couple of hours before work."
"No, I'm not tired." she replied, standing up. "Go back to sleep, I'm going to take a shower." she said, heading for the bathroom.
"Abby, are you ok?" he asked, as he watched her wipe another tear from her face. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying. I'm fine. Go back to sleep." she replied, closing the bathroom door behind her, not even looking at him.
Sighing, Luka got out of bed and knocked on the bathroom door. "Abby, let me come in."
"Luka, go away." Abby called through the door as she pulled her shirt off and started the shower. Wiping a few more stray tears, she finished undressing and stepped into the hot shower.
"I can't go away Abby." he called back through the door, as he opened it. Stepping in, he kicked her pajama pants out of the way. "Abby, would you talk to me?"
"Later Luka. I just need time to think right now." Abby replied in the shower.
Unhappily sighing, Luka stepped back and out of the bathroom, returning to the bed where he sat and waited for her to emerge from the bathroom.
"Malucci, go grab your patient from exam one!" Dr. Weaver barked later that day, as the overweight patient proceeded to run down the hallway, pushing a wheelchair full of boxes of latex gloves. "Did you call psych yet?!"
"I'm on it chief!" he called, rushing down the hallway. "Hey Abby." he called catching the guy. "Wanna help me with this guy?"
"No, I'm busy." she replied, fumbling with some charts as she walked toward the admit desk. "Haleh, Dave needs some help with his patient in one." Abby said, putting the charts on the counter and heading for the lounge.
Once in the lounge, Abby opened her locker and a note of paper dropped out onto the floor. Leaning over as the lounge door opened and Lydia came in, she picked up the note and opened it.
"Are we out of coffee?" Lydia asked as Abby unfolded the paper.
"I don't know." Abby replied, turning her back so Lydia couldn't see the paper. "Did you check the cabinets?" she asked.
"Yeah, I guess I'll go find the roach coach." Lydia replied. "She you later Abby."
"Bye." Abby replied as the lounge door closed. Looking down at the paper, she read the note.
I'm sorry if I did something yesterday to make you mad. I don't know what I did, but I hope you can forgive me. And I'm sorry I pushed you last night, if you didn't want to talk, I understand. But if you do want to talk, you can talk to me. You don't need to keep a secret.
Abby smiled as she closed the letter. Putting it into her pocket, she walked back over to her locker and fumbled with all the "crap" as she put it, on the shelf. Grabbing her box of cigarettes, she looked at them and tossed them in the trashcan.
"Forget about those." she mumbled to herself, as she grabbed the dollar bill she knew she'd thrown in the locker and slammed the door.
"Mark, where's Luka?" Abby asked; as she passed by admit on her way to the vending machine.
"I think he went outside." Mark replied, erasing his name from the board.
"Thanks." Abby replied, quickly getting a soda from the vending machine and walking outside through the ambulance entrance.
Looking across the ambulance drop off, she saw Luka, sitting on a bench, staring up at the sky.
"Luka?" she called to him, as she made her way across the blacktop. "Luka, what are you doing?"
Shaking his head, he looked at Abby and made room for her next to him. "Abby, oh, I was just thinking."
"Just.. stuff. You feeling better?"
"Yeah, listen Luka, I'm sorry about last night." Abby apologized.
"It's ok." Luka replied, looking at her. "You don't have to apologize."
"No, I do. Luka, I shouldn't have acted like that."
"It's ok, really." Luka replied, a grin appearing on his face. "I'm just glad you feel better."
Abby smiled and closed her eyes. "Yeah, about that." she started. "I need to talk to you."
"What?" Luka asked, looking clueless.
"I don't know how I should say this,” she said, sighing. "I thought we were careful.."
"Abby, what is it?" he asked, sounding almost worried. "Are you sick or something?"
"No, Luka.. I'm late."
"Late for what?" he replied, obviously not getting what Abby was telling him.
She just stared at him for a moment, "Late." she repeated.
"Late.." he repeated, and then it clicked. "Oh, late."
"Yeah." Abby said.
He just sat there for a minute, in shock. "Abby... have you taken a test?"
She shook her head. "No, I was going to have someone draw my blood, but then they'd want to know why and I don't need anyone to know about this."
"Oh." he replied, still watching her, now watching her every move. "I'm off in a few minutes. Do you want me to go pick one up at a store?" he asked.
"You don't have to." Abby responded. "Listen, I know neither of us were expecting something like this, and I don't know what you're thinking, but if you don't want to be with me now, I'll understand."
"What?" he replied, clearly hurt. "Abby, I care about you.. I love you. This won't change that." he said, taking her hand.
She finally looked up at him. "I just thought with your other kids.."
"I miss them. And I miss my wife. But I have to move on with my life Abby. I have moved on. I love you now, and if there is a baby, I will love the baby too." he said, making her look at him.
"I love you too,” she whispered. From her memory, this was the first time either had said they loved the other.
"So, do you want me to buy the test? I could go on my way home,” he told her.
"No, I'll go get one." Abby replied. "You ok?"
"I'm fine. You look like you could use a nap though." Luka joked, a small smile forming on his face.
"Yeah, well.. I still have 3 hours before my shift ends." she explained, standing up.
"We'll be ok Abby." Luka assured her, giving her a kiss. "I'll see you back at my place ok?"
"Yeah, later." she mumbled, still worried about the whole thing.
Later that day as the sun was setting; Abby clocked out and left for the pharmacy that was around the corner from the hospital. She took her time while walking the short distance, thinking about what she and Luka were possibly facing.
She had worked up in OB for over 8 years. With working up there, you had to love babies, you were delivering them everyday. And Abby did love them, but the thought of having her own had never even crossed her mind.
Who would she have had one with, Richard? She'd rather of nailed her head to a board than have had a child with that bastard. And now that she was with Luka, they had never discussed anything like this. Sure, they were serious about each other, but the most they had ever discussed was possibly buying an apartment and living together, but that was the furthest they had ever gotten.
Stepping into the drug store, she wandered over to the isle where "feminine products" were listed. Staring at the shelves there must have been 12 different tests.
"Why do they need so damn many?" she mumbled, "The blood test would have been easier."
After reading the back of the boxes on four different tests, Abby finally chose one and made her way up the cashier to pay for it.
"Oh you're having a baby!" an elderly woman in front of Abby on line squealed, spotting the test in Abby's hands.
"Well, I don't know yet." Abby replied politely.
"I'll bet it's positive, you have that look,” the woman continued, placing her items on the counter. "I should know dear, I have 9 children."
Abby smiled at the woman, "Well, I guess I'll find out soon."
"Congratulations." the woman said, as she turned to leave.
"Yeah, thanks." Abby said, placing the test on the counter and pulling a bill out of her purse to pay for it.
And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You're all I've ever needed
Baby you're the one
Abby arrived back at Luka's hotel about 45 minutes later. Unlocking the door, she immediately dropped her purse inside the door, and tossed the bag from the pharmacy on the bed.
"Luka?" she called, closing the door behind her and locking it. "Luka, are you here?"
"Abby, hold on." he called from the bathroom, the door wide open. "I'm just fixing something..."
Within two minutes, he was out, a wrench in his hands. He wiped his wet hands on his pants and smiled at her.
"There was a leak,” he explained, putting the wrench back in the toolbox sitting on the dresser. "I borrowed that from maintenance."
"Oh." was all Abby replied. Her stomach was turning in knots, it felt like her abdomen was going to burst open. “Did you fix it?”
“Yes, the valve was just loose.” he said, closing the box. “Umm.. did you get the test?” he asked.
“Yeah, I stopped on my way here.” she said.
“Good. Are you going to take it tonight?” he asked. “Or wait until morning?”
“Tonight, I don’t think we should wait until morning.” Abby explained.
“Ok.” Luka whispered. “Do, do you want me to get you anything?” he asked, himself now getting nervous.
“No, just wait out here ok?” she whispered herself. “I don’t want to wait alone.”
“Where would I go?” Luka joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Grabbing the bag from the pharmacy, Abby threw the bag away and gripped the box. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Ok, I’ll be here.” Luka said, sitting on the bed.
Closing the door behind her, Abby opened the pregnancy test and read the instructions on the back of the box. Holding the stick, she took a deep breath.
“This is the shittiest contraption I’ve ever seen.” she mumbled under her breath. Reading the box, it said it would take 3 minutes. Finishing the test, she set it on the counter next to the sink and opened the bathroom door.
“You finished?” Luka asked anxiously.
“It takes 3 minutes.” Abby replied, taking a seat next to him. As she did, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him.
“Are you scared?” he asked, as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Yes, aren’t you?” she replied, gripping his hand.
“Yes.” He whispered back. “But I’m going to be here for you no matter what ok?” he asked, sounding firm.
“Thank you Luka.” She replied, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. “Do.. do you want a baby right now?” she asked.
“I never thought about it really.” He confessed, his hand resting on her knee. “I know that I want another child, possibly 2 or 3 more. And I know I want them with you.” He said, turning to her. “And if we have one right now, then I would love it just as much as I would if we had one in two years.”
“Do you mean that?” Abby asked, placing her hand on his.
“No, I’m lying.” He replied, that small grin creeping along his face. “Of course I mean it.”
She smiled, the mood in the room lightened a little.
“Abby, it’s been three minutes.” Luka said, looking at the clock that was hung on the wall above the TV cabinet.
“Oh god.” She whispered, the knot in his stomach getting tighter.
“Do you want me to go look?” Luka asked, watching as the color was slowly draining from her face.
“Come with me.” Abby whispered, heading for the bathroom. With Luka in tow, she opened the bathroom door and walked to the counter. Peering at the test, she let out a small sigh, and put her hand to her forehead.
“Abby?” he questioned, standing in the doorway.
“It’s… negative.” she replied, her voice wavering. He had expected her to be happy about this, but instead, tears began running slowly down her cheeks.
“It’ll be ok.” He whispered, walking over and wrapping her in a hug.
“I’m sorry.” She apologized quietly. “I didn’t think I wanted a baby yet, but thinking about it, it made me wonder what it would be like Luka. What it would be like to have your baby, and I wanted it. I wanted it to be positive,” she sobbed, burying her face in Luka’s shirt.
“Abby, it’s ok. We could start trying, if you want a baby. We could have one.” He said, trying to comfort her, as she pulled her head back to look at his face, he wiped the tears that were drying on her face. His shirt was now soaked, but it didn’t matter. “Come here.” He said, leading her back outside to the main part of his hotel room where he sat her on the bed.
Heading for his closet, he pulled something off the top shelf and slipped it in his pocket and she sat, her head still buried in her hands.
“Abby.” He called, as she lifted her head. “I wasn’t sure when I was going to do this, but I want to do it now ok?” he asked.
“Do what?” she whispered, curiosity in her eyes as she wiped them again with a tissue.
“I love you Abby, and I love spending time with you. I love waking up with you in the morning, and going to sleep with you at night. I love our friendship, and I love everything you do. How you smile, how you laugh, and how you cry. And now that we know we want a child, I need to ask you….. Abby, will you be my wife?” Luka said, as Abby stared at him, her face even whiter than it had been 5 minutes earlier. Pulling the ring from his pocket, she gasped.
“Luka…” she whispered, squeezing the tissue in her hand. “Yes.”
“You will?” he replied, smiling and laughing.
Nodding, she stood up as he put the ring on her finger and pulled her close as he kissed her. “Thank you Abby…. For making me happy again.”
“I love you.”
For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12
Part 13 Part 14 Part 15