Camaraderie





“Luka! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Have you been here all night?”

Luka looked up from his reading to see Dan Marlen standing at the head of the oversized, oak table.

“Yes. I am sorry to worry you. You said I use the church library when I want. Is not ok?” Luka looked quizzically at Dan.

“No, its fine. Don’t worry about it. I was just worried because you left after dinner and when you never came home . . . well, I was just worried.” Dan fidgeted nervously.

“I am sorry you worry. I call next time. I didn’t think it is so late. But I am ok. Ok?” Luka looked at Dan waiting to see some sign that the man believed him. That everything was O.K.

“No Luka. It’s not O.K.” Dan Marlen knew a man in need of guidance--his own and God’s-- when he saw one, and Luka Kovac needed that guidance and he needed it now.

* * * * * * * * * *

“John. Good, you’re still here. If you have time, I’d like to have that talk we started earlier.” Chen paused, noticing that Luka was in the room. “I’m not disturbing anything am I?”

Luka snapped out of his daydream--his memory. “Jing-Mei, no. I was just leaving.” Luka looked over at Carter who managed to avoid his eyes. “Carter. Remember what I said. Anytime.” Luka turned and walked out into the ER.

“I’m sorry John. I was interrupting something.” Deb looked at Carter. He didn’t respond and Deb began to get nervous. Had he intentionally avoided her yesterday? Is that what he wanted to talk about? Was he having second thoughts about pursuing a relationship with her?

“John . . . .”

“Deb,” Carter interrupted, “I think we made a mistake. About dating. I don’t really have the time. I’ve been helping my grandmother with some charity work, and I’m still behind from the time I took off.” Carter reached in his mind to find some other valid reason for why his dating Deb was a bad idea.

Carter glanced at Deb and his heart began to pound heavily. Her lips were taut and her arms crossed her chest. She looked angry. Very angry. He looked at the floor and blurted out the only other excuse he could think of.

“Besides, Dave would be heart broken if we started going out. He really likes you. And I don’t think it’s another one of his animal attractions either.” ‘God Carter, what are doing? Malucci?’

Deb’s voice was icy when she responded. “Dave, huh. So I should date Dave instead of you. Since when are you Malucci’s champion?”

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything, but Dave took it really hard when I told him about your birthday dinner. I mean, he clammed up. Wouldn’t say more than two words to me after that. I think you should really consider going out with him.”

“Look John, what’s going on? Yesterday you were pleading with me to give this a chance. And today, today you’re telling me it was a big mistake. How am I supposed to take that? Now you’re telling me to date Malucci!”

Carter was silent.

“Damnit Carter! At least have the decency to answer me!” Deb paused, waiting for Carter to say something, anything to make this stop. She got no response.

“Fine John. Fine. If you think that yesterday was all a huge mistake, and that I should give Malucci a chance . . . Fine!” Deb turned on her heel and stormed out of the lounge, leaving Carter standing still and lifeless.

What had he done?

Dave was reviewing a chart behind the desk when he saw Carter walking out of exam 1.

“Hey Carter!”

Carter grimaced as he heard Dave’s voice. He forced a smile and walked over to Dave.

“Dave. What’s up. You need to stop grinning like that--you look like a cheschire cat.”

“John my man. What did you do to Chen? She practically threw herself at me.”

“That sounds like an overstatement.” John retorted.

“No man. She came charging up here about an hour ago and practically told me we were going out tomorrow night. I mean, what’s up? I thought you too had something going on.” Dave grinned at Carter. “Come on. What’d you do to her? You called her by some other chick’s name. Roxanne. Am I right?”

“No Dave. That would be stepping into your territory. Seriously, I didn’t do anything. We just decided not to go out again. We had fun,” Carter paused, inwardly grimacing at the lie he was about to tell, “but it was nothing special.”

“Yeah, right. Nothing special. There has got to be a screw loose in that head of yours John, because there’s nothing not special about Chen. Her eyes, her hair, her brain. Brains enough to dump you and realize that I’m the man of her dreams.”

“Well, you know Dave. I suggested to Deb that she ask you out. Your little silent treatment yesterday spoke volumes.”

“Well, then I guess I owe you one. We can tally up right now if you’re off. There’s a great little club downtown I just heard about. You in?”

“You know Dave, that lovesick schoolgirl look on your face is thanks enough. I have done my good deed of the day. Now I’m off to settle down with a hot bowl of soup and a good book.” Carter adjusted the strap to his satchel across his shoulder and took off towards the ambulance bay doors. He looked back at Malucci still standing there looking at a chart, a crooked grin playing at his mouth and called back,

“Have fun tomorrow night!” Malucci raised one hand in a half wave, without looking up from his chart. Carter hated Malucci at that moment more than he had ever hated anyone. But it wasn’t Malucci’s doing, it was his own. Carter had only himself to blame, and to hate. Carter stepped aside as paramedics wheeled an unconscious man through the bay doors. He heard part of the bullet “. . . 33 year old male, brief l.o.c., don’t think he’s gonna make it.”

“Lucky bastard.” Carter murmured to himself as he pushed out the doors.

* * * * * * * * * *

Deb squirmed uncomfortably in the crowded nightclub, already regretting that she had allowed Malucci to chose where they went. The bright pink neon sign flashing outside had been a good indicator that this would be a long night.

“You want to dance?” Deb looked up to see Dave holding out his hand to her. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Deb looked over to the dance floor at the mass of bodies writhing to the music. If you could call it music. It was more like a head bangers ball. She felt out of place in her jeans and cashmere sweater. The women she saw dancing and sitting at the bar were all wearing skirts that ended at the top of their thighs, their midriffs exposed by blouses that ended underneath their chests. This was definitely “Dr. Dave” land, but she was here and she might as well try and have fun. She reached up and took Dave’s hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

‘This is great, you and me here together. I love this place. I come here every weekend--that is, if I’m not working.” They reached the dance floor and Dave began to dance, only he looked like a ‘60s throw back. Deb began to sway to the music, staring at Dave. He looked like he was about to have a seizure and Deb almost asked him if he was alright when she realized what he was doing. He was impersonating John Travolta in the movie “Pulp Fiction!” Now she was laughing. This was so . . . Malucci.

“What’s so funny?” Dave looked around to see who Deb was laughing at.

“Nothing. I’m just having fun.” Deb smiled at Dave. The song they were dancing to ended and a slow song began. Dave took her hand and pulled her close. Deb wrapped her arm around his shoulders. He wasn’t a bad dancer, and he really wasn’t a bad guy. But he wasn’t--John. Deb sighed, thinking about the sensations that had danced through her body the night she had kissed John. Why had he changed his mind?

“Jing-Mei!” Deb glanced up to see Dave looking at her with concern. “I said your name three times. Are you O.K.?”

Deb smiled at Malucci. “Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m just tired. Maybe we should do this another time.”

“O.K. If that’s what you want. You can pick the place next time. I’m sorry about this.” He gestured around the room. “I’m sure this wasn’t what you had in mind. But it really isn’t a bad place. You just have to get used to it.”

Deb realized that Malucci thought she was upset about the club. It certainly wouldn’t have been her first choice, but she was always open to trying new things. No, her lack of enthusiasm stemmed from something else. Something that was beginning to worry her more and more as the night wore on.

“Dave. Can we go somewhere quiet and talk? Get some coffee maybe?”

Dave was ecstatic, Deb didn’t want the date to end yet. “Sure. Starbucks fine?”

Deb nodded her head as they wound their way through a throng of people. As they pushed through the rotating doors into the night air, Deb inhaled deeply. She thought again of John and his actions in the last few days. Deb grabbed Dave by the arm, “Come on.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Carter lay in his bed, wondering what was wrong with him. Why had he pushed Deb away, and into the arms of Dave Malucci no less? Where were they on their date, he wondered. Dinner? Dancing? A midnight cruise? No, that wasn’t Dave’s style. They were probably out on the pier eating hotdogs. Was it possible that Deb was having fun? Could Malucci be winning her heart as he lay here in his bed alone? The thought of Deb in Malucci’s arms made his stomach turn. His thoughts raced back to another time when he walked into an exam room to find Harper Tracy in the arms of Doug Ross. Then visions of Anna in Max’s embrace floated in front of his eyes. Suddenly he saw Lucy laughing with Dale. Carter moaned and smashed his palms into his eyes. Why did she always have to appear? Couldn’t he just forget about her for one night?

He deserved to be alone. Lucy would never know true love, why should he? It would be poetic justice if he spent the rest of his life alone and miserable. It was the least of what he deserved.

Carter got up and began to pace about his room. ‘Come on John. Let’s not start this. Keep it together. Think about . . . .” An AMA Journal perched at the edge of his nightstand caught his eye. Carter picked it up and began to finger through it. There must be an interesting article in here. Carter had read through many AMA Journals in the last few months, and it was showing in his work in the ER. The Annals of Emergency Medicine was his preference, but the AMA was closest at hand to stop the tirade of thoughts that were circling around in his mind.

* * * * * * * * * *

Malucci had just handed Deb a cappuccino and sat down, admiring the way the moon glinted in Deb’s eyes at the sidewalk cafe, when Deb spoke.

“Dave. I want to talk about John.”



Part 7
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