Camaraderie





Malucci sat down across from Deb and waited for her to speak. Deb looked uncomfortable and was staring down at her hands, avoiding Malucci’s eyes. Why did she want to talk about Carter? Jeez, she dumped Carter in order to go out with him. Hadn’t she? I that what this was about? Maybe he had gotten it wrong. Maybe Carter put on the brakes, and he was just Deb’s rebound. Great. He tensed and prepared for the kissoff.

“So,” Malucci’s voice faltered for a second, “What about Carter?”

Deb suddenly looked up and into Malucci’s eyes. He could see that she looked worried and it startled him. Dave threw up his hands in exaggerated frustration.

“Hey. What’s going on? Is there something I should know? This whole thing is starting to creep me out. I may be Dr. Dave the love doctor, but I’m not really into love triangles. If you want to go out with Carter again, be my guest. I can tell when I’m not wanted. . ..”

“Malucci,” Deb cut in, “Shut up. This is really hard, and you’re not making it any easier for me. It’s not about who I want to date or who I’m romantically interested in. It’s something more serious than that. At least, I think it is.”

“Ok, now I’m confused. Then what’s this all about?” Dave leaned forward in his chair, giving Deb his full attention.

“I’m worried about John. He’s really been acting strange the past couple of days.”

Malucci spoke up, “Carter’s been acting strange since February. I’d be worried if he wasn’t acting weird. That’s one hell of an ordeal that he’s gone through. I mean, if someone stuck a knife in my back, well, let’s just say there’d be hell to pay.”

Deb glared at Dave. How could she make him understand? “I’m afraid for him Dave!”

Malucci reached across the table and took Deb’s hand in his. “I’m listening. What’s going on?”

* * * * * * * *

Carter stirred in the antique armchair where he had retreated, the AMA Journal lying lifelessly across his chest. Flames flickered in the fireplace in front of him, sending sparks spiraling up into the chimney. It was a peaceful scene, undisturbed by the nightmare unraveling itself in Carter’s unconscious mind.

‘Lucy! Hang in there, I’m here. I’m here to help you.’ Carter applied pressure to the only wound he could find, a stab wound to her belly. He did it, he must have startled Sobricki, stopping him before he could do more damage.

‘Carter,’ Lucy’s eyes were wide with fright. ‘Don’t let me die.’

‘I won’t Luce--not this time.’ Carter smiled reassuringly at his patient. ‘Now just lie still and let me stop this bleeding.’

Lucy’s back arched suddenly, and she gasped for breath.

‘What, what Lucy? Are you in pain?’

Lucy reached for her stomach and cried out. Carter looked down and saw another spot of blood that he hadn’t noticed before. Where was it coming from? Carter watched as the spot spread, soaking Lucy’s shirt. ‘Oh my God!’ Carter examined the area and found another knife wound on the opposite side of her belly. How had he missed that? He was sure there was only one wound when he did his initial examination.

‘It’s O.K. Lucy, don’t worry. There’s another wound that I didn’t notice, but it’s not too bad. We’ll pull through this. Just relax.’ Carter felt Lucy’s body relax as he began to apply pressure to the new wound.

‘Carter.’ Lucy’s voice was thin, raspy. ‘I can’t b. .r.. e. . . a. . t. h.’ Lucy began to clutch her throat. A trickle of blood ran between her fingers, pooling onto her chest. Lucy looked at Carter, tears streaming down the side of her face, wetting her hair.

‘Why are you letting this happen to me? Why are you letting me die? Don’t let me die Carter!’

There was too much blood, a new wound had appeared on Lucy’s chest. He couldn’t stop the bleeding. There was nothing he could do to save her. Carter looked down at Lucy. Her blue eyes were dull, lifeless. Her body jerked on the floor. Suddenly, her breathing ceased.

“I’m so sorry Lucy. I’m so sorry.” Carter hugged Lucy’s lifeless body, rocking her back and forth, as if comforting a child.

Millicent Carter stood in the doorway to her grandson’s room, and watched silently as Carter wept in his sleep. She had heard him calling out, but couldn’t hear what he was yelling. So she had gotten up to check on him. She knew he had not been sleeping well--nightmares would do that. She hoped that she could comfort him, as she had when he was a child and had visited her. John was prone to nightmares back then as well. He was such a empathetic being that even the slightest trauma would have him calling out for her in the middle of the night. As Millicent neared Carter’s room, she could hear what he was yelling.

“I’m so sorry Lucy, I’m so sorry.” Over and over. It broke her heart to listen to her grandson’s pain. Millicent took several strides and was at Carter’s side. She embraced her sleeping grandson and murmured the soothing words she hadn’t uttered in many years.

“It’s all right John. Gamma’s here. Gamma’s here.” Millicent smoothed Carter’s hair lovingly. After a few moments, Carter’s sobbing quieted and eventually stopped. His breathing slowed and he slept.

* * * * * * * *

Malucci looked at Deb, unsure what to think of her assertions. He ran his hand through his hair before he spoke.

“I can understand and believe that Carter is probably clinically depressed. Post traumatic stress, survivor’s guilt and all that. But suicidal? I don’t know. He just doesn’t seem that far gone to me. Just yesterday we were joking around and he seemed to be in better spirits than he has since this all started.”

“Yeah, but how do you explain his sudden turnabout with me? He was pleading with me to give him a chance. Then the next day he’s telling me he can’t date me--he’s too busy.” Deb considered telling Malucci that it was John’s idea for her to date him, but she didn’t think that Dave needed to hear that right now.

“O.K.. I agree. That is weird, even for John. But maybe he’s just having second thoughts. That’s a big step--dating again I mean. Maybe he thought about it and he’s just not ready.”

Deb sighed. “Maybe. But what if I’m right? What if John is suicidal? We can’t just stand back and watch him hurt himself. We’ve let him cut himself off from his friends--his life for too long. I’m going to talk to Kerry and Mark about this tomorrow. I think someone needs to talk to his grandmother as well. Let’s make sure John knows we’re here for him.”

“O.K..” Dave paused, I’ll talk to his grandmother.” Deb looked at Dave, surprised that he had volunteered himself for this role.

“Hey, I’m worried about him too. If there’s any chance that he is suicidal, well, then I want to help.”

“Thank you Dave.” Deb looked at Malucci and smiled.

“What are friends for?” Dave replied.

* * * * * * * *

Mark Greene rubbed his hand over his smooth scalp, as he listened to Chen. Clinical depression, suicide. He wasn’t a psychiatrist. He couldn’t make an evaluation for Carter. But he understood Chen’s concern for her coworker and friend.

“I want you to understand that I can’t make Carter see a therapist. I think he’s talked to Dr. Deraad upstairs once or twice. But other than that, I really don’t know. I’m worried about him too. I think the only thing we can do for Carter is let him know very clearly that he is not alone, that he has friends, and that we care about him.”

Kerry Weaver, who was sitting at the table listening to the interchange, spoke. “I agree with Mark. All we can do is encourage John to see a therapist and let him know we are here to listen and support him.”

Just then, Malucci entered the lounge, out of breath. He looked at Dr. Greene and Dr. Weaver and greeted them meekly. “Hey Chief, boss. I just got off the phone with Carter’s grandmother. Seems Carter’s been having some pretty intense nightmares. The kind that give you goosebumps just listening to the dreamer scream in their sleep. Wakes her up every night. She said he’s not sleeping much either--guess that explains the zombie look he’s been sporting.”

Mark looked at Malucci sharply. “Thank you Dr. Malucci. I think we can do without your commentary though.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help. I’m concerned too--it’s just my way of dealing with it. O.K.?” Malucci flopped onto a couch, looking like he’d just been scolded.

“Dave.” Malucci looked towards Mark. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Dave responded.

The door pushed open and Luka entered the lounge. He stopped when he saw the intense looks on the faces of the group in the room.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I was just getting coffee. Do you want me to leave?”

Mark motioned for Luka to come in. “No, stay. Maybe you can help us with this. We were talking about Dr. Carter. It seems there’s a general consensus of concern for his well being. Dr. Chen has shared a concern that Carter is showing signs of suicidal ideations. I would have to agree that is a possibility at this point.”

Luka stood still, absorbing the information. He crossed his arms and looked down at the floor, ashamed that he had done nothing to act on his own concern for Dr. Carter.

“I have noticed how depressed he is. I tried to talk to him--offered to listen. But he insisted that he was alright, that he could handle what he was feeling.”

Malucci spoke up. “His grandmother says he’s having nightmares, and not sleeping. I don’t think he’s handling it very well.”

“I should have done something--said something earlier. I knew he was having nightmares.” Luka looked up, his eyes wide. “Let me talk to him. I think I can get through to him.”

Kerry stood and walked over to Luka. She gently placed her hand on his arm. “Thank you Luka. I believe that you can.”

* * * * * * * *

The doorbell rang at the Carter residence, and after a few moments, ‘Dr. Carter’ was informed that he had a visitor.

Carter walked into the sitting room and was surprised to be greeted by Luka Kovac.

Carter stood awkwardly, unsure what to say.

“Dr. Carter. I am sorry for coming to your home unannounced. But please, sit down. I wanted to talk to you about my family.”

Carter was confused. What family was Dr. Kovac talking about? Carter pulled the large oak doors closed behind him and took a seat across from Dr. Kovac.

Luka closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I want to tell you about my wife and children.”



Part 8
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