Common Ground




Carter left the restroom, got a drink of water and went back outside to sit on a picnic table. He had to admit to himself that the days’ events were starting to catch up with him. He was exhausted. He also discovered that he had carelessly left all of his medication back at Gamma’s. This worried him, a little. He suddenly realized he hadn’t said anything to Nathan since they arrived at the rest stop.

“Sorry I’m so out of it, Nathan,” he said, almost in a whisper.

“What kind of hours do you work?” Nathan inquired politely.

“Long. Oh…umm today was about 9 or 10, only because I left early,” Carter answered. “I was supposed to work 14.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is a lighter schedule. I think it’s noon to five. But I might stay till eight to make up some of today’s time.”

Carter proceeded to ask Nathan how long he’d been gone. Nathan told that him he had left the previous week after the last day of school. Carter expressed a little surprise that Nathan’s mother appeared on television. “I thought you must have been gone quite a while,” he explained.

“Well, remember even a weekend is forever to a parent. Actually, there’s more to it than that. Do you want to know how she got on TV?” Nathan said.

“If you are okay with talking about it,” Carter replied.

“Well, Jeffrey – a friend of mine – and two of our classmates died recently. Some drunk ran them off the road into a river. They drowned.”

Carter’s face showed concern and shock. “That’s terrible!”

“So when I ran away,” Nathan continued. “ Being that I’m from the same school and was one of the people they interviewed after the accident, it was a big deal.”

“I’m so sorry, Nathan, I didn’t know any of this. I just knew that I saw you.”

Nathan hesitated a moment before speaking. “I was supposed to be with them … with Jeffrey that night in that car, but I changed my mind at the last minute. Now I’m not so sure I made the right choice.”

“What?” Carter asked for clarification. He couldn’t believe he was hearing this from a 15-year-old.

“I just wonder if there was something I could have done.”

“Well uhh … hmm … that’s a tough call.”

“Everyone says, ‘the drunk is the one that should be having second thoughts, not you.’”

Why does this all sound so familiar, Carter thought. He had been having so many second thoughts about Valentine’s night. He could almost feel that knife again. It was probably his imagination, although his painkillers were truly wearing off. He couldn’t believe it, but three months had passed since Lucy died. The physical pain should have diminished greatly by now.

“Nathan,” Carter figured he better say something. “Have you ever heard of … survivor’s guilt?”

Nathan said he wasn’t sure.

“When someone close to us dies tragically, we feel guilty because of the unfairness of it all. And kind of like you said, we feel like there’s something we should have been able to do."

Nathan looked back at Carter and sighed. “The drunk went to jail, but he’ll be released someday. It’s hard for me to think about going through the day without Jeffrey.”

“How long has it been?” Carter asked.

“Two months,” Nathan replied.

“You seem okay,” Carter encouraged him. “Not that you haven’t missed him.”

“My family just doesn’t understand. It would be so much easier if they would stop telling me what to do or how I should be feeling. Gosh - I’m probably depressing you with telling you all this – how’s your back?”

“Awful,” Carter saw no point in lying to the kid.

“You should go home. We can skip the carnival.”

Carter looked at Nathan to make sure he was serious. “I hope you’ll come with me anyway,” he told Nathan.

It was already almost 11 p.m. In the car, heading back to Chicago, the two made small talk, as well plans for Nathan’s stay at the Carter residence. It was decided that Nathan would be called by his middle name, Josh. The story would be that “Josh” was spending the summer with his uncle, who worked at the hospital. Carter would tell his grandparents that Josh’s uncle had just received notice to go out of town on business, and that he had asked Carter if there was room available for Josh to stay with him during the trip.

“So you’ve been out getting to know each other,” Gamma commented after Carter explained the situation.

“Yeah, it’s not like we wanted to sit around the house,” Carter agreed.

Gamma informed him about Dr. Chen’s phone call, so Carter figured he better call her back. During this time, Gamma showed “Josh” to the spare bedroom where he would sleep.

At 11:30 p.m., just as Dr. Chen was assuming she wouldn’t be hearing back from Carter, the phone rang.

“Deb – Gamma said you called. Is it too late?” Carter was calling from his bedroom.

“No, John,” she said, laughing a little. “Actually, I’m relieved to hear from you. I’m wondering if you’re okay.”

“Oh, you mean about leaving early and stuff. I started feeling pretty crummy, so I thought it would best. Kerry notices when we’re not on our toes in tip-top shape. I was … actually kind of afraid to tell her in person.”

“You couldn’t help how you were feeling, John. But I saw what happened earlier. What came over you?” Chen was being direct about the woman with the allergy to her medicine.

Carter saw no reason to cover up the situation anymore. “I was trying to do a lot of things at once, and I missed some of her background. I’m sorry I never agreed to let you help me. I needed to feel busy.”

Chen gently explained to Carter why Mark had talked to him about seeing a therapist. “Feelings like that, we don’t always know how to deal with them. I think you are trying to take on a heck of a lot on your own, Carter.”

Carter was quiet for a moment, but then asked Chen if she would mind continuing the conversation at work tomorrow. Chen agreed, acknowledging that it was late and they both needed their sleep.



Part 5
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