The Consequences Of Klutziness
AUTHOR: Anna Rousseau and Carrie Verkman
EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org ; email@example.com
FANDOMS: ER/The West Wing
CATEGORY: WW (SS/CJC/JL/DM) ER (JC/AL/KW/DM)
SPOILERS: WW (ITSOTG & Other Minor) ER (S6)
SET: WW (S2) ER (S7)
ARCHIVE & FEEDBACK: Just tell us where/ e-mail Anna firstname.lastname@example.org or Carrie email@example.com
DISCLAIMER: Do we *look* like we own two extremely successful TV series?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first collaboration fic that we have done together, so I hope both ER and West Wing readers will like it. Bear in mind this is a comedy, and we don't suspect that Mr. Wells would ever get Mr. Sorkin and Mr. Schlamme to agree to a crossover in the 'real' world, so take the characterisation with a pinch of salt.
SUMMARY: CJ, Josh and Sam have to pay a visit to the Emergency Room during a visit to Chicago.
'THE CONSEQUENCES OF KLUTZINESS'
"How the hell did you manage that, Sam?" Josh Lyman demanded, raking his fingers through his unruly hair, his tone raised in annoyance. "We've got a very important function with probably the most influential person in the whole state of Illinois and you screw it up with-"
CJ Cregg pushed the doors to County General's Emergency Room open and hushed Josh by raising her index finger, "Don't make a big deal about it, Josh. I hardly think that the President of the Federal *Cheese* Commission is going to miss us."
"Why on Earth would he be the most influential person in this state...that's absurd," Sam Seaborn added, pressing a piece of gauze to his head which was oozing blood pretty quickly. "Wisconsin, maybe. Illinois, not at all...maybe if he was the President of the Federal Pizza Commission, or the Federal Deep Dish Pizza Commission even-"
"Keep applying that pressure," CJ interjected as she looked for the reception desk.
Sam nodded, feeling slightly light-headed though not faltering in his search for suitable Commissions that may effect polling numbers in Illinois, "The Federal El Train Commission maybe? Hey, this Cheese Commission thing fits in with Leo's Big Block of Cheese idea, do you think-"
"Yes, Josh," Sam replied, wincing as a sharp pain shot across his forehead.
"Shut up." Josh looked over at his friend, a trickle of blood running down Sam's temple. Josh turned a shade of green, "Oh God, you're bleeding."
Sam looked at the Deputy Chief of Staff in disbelief as CJ rang the bell on the counter, "Well thank you Josh, that was something I wasn't aware of." Sam took the piece of gauze from his head and looked at it, "Wow, I am bleeding. A lot, may I add."
Josh turned away quickly, "Oh God, don't Sam, put it back on."
"Afraid of a little blood, are we?" Sam asked, teasing his friend despite the agony he was in by lifting the bloody material without warning off his head every so often as they waited for the receptionist.
"Put the gauze back on the cut, and nobody gets hurt," Josh threatened bending over and taking in deep breaths.
A heavily made-up brunette popped up from behind the desk, chewing on a piece of gum, "What can I do for you?"
CJ smiled breezily and indicated towards Sam, "I'm CJ Cregg, this is my colleague Sam Seaborn. He's got a pretty nasty cut on his head, it might need stitches."
"If you'd wait in chairs-"
There was a groan and a thud. CJ, the receptionist and Sam turned to see Josh, slumped on the floor, his skin a sickly green.
CJ raised an eyebrow, pointing at Sam, "What'cha do, Samuel?"
Sam looked at her innocently, "How was I supposed to know he wasn't man enough for a little blood?"
CJ looked at her colleagues. One was bleeding profusely and the other was passed out on the floor, face as green as grass. In a weird way she felt like a mother with two babies.
The receptionist was not amused by Josh who was now clutching his stomach. She snapped and popped her gum and handed CJ a chart. "Fill this out and wait in chairs please."
Sam once again looked at his soaked gauze pad. He felt more light-headed than before. "Waiting in chairs won't make my head stop oozing blood."
CJ maneuvered Sam to a chair and began to fill out a chart for him. Sam looked over to Josh who had pulled himself together and was holding onto the admit desk for support. "What are going to do about Josh?" Sam asked.
"Oh, I think he'll be fine. He's just scared of a little blood. Now let's worry about you," CJ said.
"Yes Mommy." Sam looked around the ER. "This place is a dump. There're hobos everywhere, drunks and addicts. I have never seen a hospital so run down."
"That's what you get for coming to a County hospital," said Dr. John Carter. "Randi said there was a head laceration and a drunk on the floor, and I'm guessing it's you two."
"I am not drunk!" Josh shouted. "If it wasn't for this klutz here with a bleeding head, we wouldn't be in this mess!" Josh pointed at Sam. CJ looked amused.
The doctor stuck his hand out amiably, "Dr. John Carter."
CJ nodded and gave him a firm and official handshake, "CJ Cregg, this is Sam Seaborn...that green one over there is Josh Lyman. And believe me, you'd know if *he* were drunk."
"You look familiar," Dr. Carter said to CJ who just about matched the tall doctor's height, a curious look on his face. "You on TV?
Sam grinned; they got this a lot when they were out with CJ. And they were constantly being accosted by young girls taken with Josh's 'sheer genius'. "She's the White House Press Secretary."
"Oh," Dr. Carter smiled as he moved over to where Sam was sitting, looking more and more faint by the moment. "Ah," he peered at the cut after snapping on a fresh pair of latex gloves, "that's a pretty deep scalp lac, you're gonna need a few stitches there. If you'd come this way."
CJ steadied Sam as he stood up, swaying a little, "Are you going to wait here, Josh?"
Josh was trying his best to keep his eyes averted from the blood trickling from Sam's head by pretending to take a deep interest in the slightly mouldy ceiling tiles of the admit area. When CJ started talking to him, Josh was prepared to make some excuse about phoning in to check with Leo McGarry. But as he was about to reply when a gurney rushed past, laden with young man whose body was riddled with gunshot wounds, paramedics and doctors working desperately to save his life.
"CJ, wait," Josh whispered moving quickly to where Sam and CJ were heading with Dr. Carter.
Sam looked over at Josh whose face had at first pinked up then blanched, he then glanced at the victim being pushed rapidly into a trauma room. Turning back to his friend, Sam beckoned him over, "Josh, it's OK...come here."
CJ was just as concerned as Sam and touched Josh's elbow as Dr. Carter lead them into a quiet and deserted exam room, "Josh?"
"Is he OK," Dr. Carter asked, staring at Josh who sat down quietly on one of the gurneys. A wave of realisation crossed his face, his tone became slightly hushed, "You're Joshua Lyman, President Bartlet's Deputy Chief of Staff, is that right?"
Josh nodded, smiling wryly and bitterly at the same time, "Yeah, the one from the news, the one who got shot."
"Josh," Sam pleaded. "He was only-"
He smiled apologetically at the doctor, "Guess I'm a bit sick of hospitals, y'know after spending weeks on end cooped up in one...but when I got out-"
CJ rolled her eyes, "Please, don't subject the poor doctor to your 'Outdoorsman' lecture," she grinned at Dr Carter who was organising instruments that Sam was eyeing cautiously. "He does this every time, believe me, he's not an outdoorsman."
The young doctor smiled knowingly at Josh; CJ knew that Dr. Carter probably saw cases like Josh's every day. If they'd been in Chicago and not Rosslyn, they might have even ended up in this emergency room. But the look the trauma resident gave Josh was far more familiar. CJ turned back to the verbal rally the two deputies were engaged in.
"I am such an outdoorsman, CJ," Josh protested, getting back into his usual infantile argumentative character. "If I was anymore of an outdoorsman I'd be Davy Crockett."
Sam smirked at Josh, "Well, 'Davey' why don't you save us all the pain of hearing about the outdoors and actually go there."
"I like it better here," Josh decided, swinging his legs absentmindedly as Dr. Carter irrigated the wound.
"How did you do this?"
Sam cocked his head to the side as the doctor inspected the wound before raising a syringe to Sam's scalp. He looked at the needle apprehensively and swallowed, tugging on his loosely knotted tie, "I came by CJ's room and she was putting in her contacts and she lost one, it bounced onto the floor-"
"Right, blame it on the woman," CJ sighed good-naturedly.
Sam gave her a look and continued, "We were looking for it on the carpet of CJ's hotel room and I found it, told her, we both looked up at the same time, we bumped heads pretty forcefully, I fell over and backwards after I lost my balance and there was this damned ugly piece of mock-Baroque furniture and I hit my head on this little twiddly bit, that had no right to be there, it didn't serve any purpose, it was just there for ornamentation, even then it was a vile piece of carpentry-"
"That's enough detail," Dr. Carter smiled as he drove the syringe forwards. "You might feel a little pinch, Mr. Seaborn."
"All that and in one sentence," Josh commented looking impressed. "And one breath."
Sam winced as Dr. Carter started to suture, "Toby would be appalled at my grammar." He addressed the doctor, "I didn't mean to be disrespectful about your hospital earlier, sorry."
Dr Carter shrugged, "No, no.County General is a bit of a slum."
CJ could see Sam's eyes start to twinkle, "Still, those who can't afford healthcare should go to hospitals of a higher standard, environment wise. I can tell that the staff here are grossly overworked, underpaid and don't receive the respect they're due. We should be doing more for County hospitals like-"
Josh sighed and folded his arms, "And so begins the next chapter in Samuel Seaborn's epic life's crusade to ensure a better life for every American. First making hookers see the error of their ways, then mandatory minimums and education, now healthcare, here we come."
"Don't mock," Sam retorted, his attempt at menace not coming through as he had hoped. "Or I'll make you come along when I have my stitches out."
"Oooh, is that a promise or a threat?" Josh taunted. He stood up from the gurney but CJ pushed him back down.
"That's enough. Poor Dr. Carter must be sick of your arguing by now. Act your age!" CJ demanded.
Dr. Carter just kept suturing Sam's head. Abby Lockhart came into bring him some gauze pads.
"Here you go Dr. Carter. Wait a minute, are you-"
CJ smiled, "Yes. CJ Cregg. White House Press Secretary. This is Sam Seaborn and Josh Lyman. And you are?"
"Oh, Abby Lockhart. I'm just a nurse," Abby ran a hand through her messy hair. "Just a nurse with no medical school money, an ex-husband violating our divorce agreement, and a Croatian boyfriend who is jealous and whines about his dead family all the time. And here I am stuck in the middle of it all!" Abby left the exam room in a stressed-out fury. Dr. Carter watched her go.
"She's feisty," said Sam, an uncontrollable giddy smile taking over his face. "Cute and feisty."
"Yeah that's Abby for you." Dr. Carter said.
"I think he likes Abby." said Josh, who was playing with a tongue depressor.
"Josh!" CJ exclaimed.
"John and Abby sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Josh sang.
"Mr. Lyman do we need to restrain you?" Dr. Carter asked, his cheeks glowing red. He was almost done suturing when Sam's cell phone rang.
"Oh I have to get that," Sam reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a tiny phone.
"Mr. Seaborn, hold still," Dr. Carter said impatiently.
"Sorry," Sam apologised as the doctor tied another knot in the suture he was completing. He then turned his attention to the caller on the other end of the line, "Sam Seaborn."
"You're not supposed to use those things in here," Dr. Carter said, gesticulating to the cell phone whilst still stitching, a feat in itself.
Sam nodded and held his finger up, "One sec."
Josh leant over and examined Dr. Carter's actions, "Uh, how do you do that thing."
"That thing?" Dr. Carter replied.
"Clear as mud always, Joshua," CJ snorted as she tried to not look like she was eavesdropping on Sam's conservation.
Josh ignored her and pointed at a stitch on Sam's head, "There, the little one-handed knot thingy-"
Sam glared at Josh and clapped a hand over the mouthpiece, "I don't mind you staring at my head, but could you be a bit quieter please?"
Luckily Sam was too engrossed with what his caller was saying to pay any attention to the faces that Josh was pulling behind his back.
Dr. Carter watched the brotherly antics with amusement as he finished his last stitch. Pulling off the latex gloves, he tossed them into a sterile waste container with the precision of an NBA superstar, "I could tell you the secrets of my one-handed knots, but then I'd have to kill you."
Josh pursed his lips and nodded, rocking back on his heels, "D'ya know I could have you committed for threatening a federal employee in such a way?"
"Bring it on," Dr. Carter grinned. "I've had worst threats, believe me."
Sam flipped up his phone and slipped it into his pocket, "That was Donna, she wanted to see how we were doing."
Josh looked stunned, "Donna phoned?"
"To talk to you?"
"But she's my assistant."
"Ten out of ten for stating the obvious, Josh." CJ rolled her eyes.
Sam stood up and gave Josh a curious glance, "By phoning me is she violating one of the Josh Lyman-Donna Moss restriction laws?"
Josh pretended not to hear this and instead pressed on with the inquisition, "Donna didn't want to speak to me?"
Dr. Carter cleared his throat to get the three White House employees to notice him, "Uh, you need to keep the stitches dry and come back to have them taken out in about six days."
"Can I have my doctor back in Washington do it?" Sam checked as CJ inspected the careful stitches made at Sam's hairline.
Dr. Carter nodded and handed Sam a leaflet, "There's some more information about caring for the wound. If you have any queries either get in touch with us or your doctor in DC."
Josh was about to open the door when a redheaded woman with a crutch barged in and threw a chart at Dr. Carter, "We're getting backed up, Carter, you don't have the time to stand around making idle chit-chat."
"Kerry?" CJ asked in disbelief, edging closer to the other woman. "Kerry Weaver?"
Dr. Weaver clapped a hand to her mouth, and then she beamed at the Press Secretary, "Claudia! My God, I haven't seen you since graduation."
"Look at you Kerry! You look great!" CJ said, not caring if her voice rose to a valley girl level. "You must have a man now!"
"Uh, well, not exactly. But who cares. It's been way to long! Oh my God!" Dr. Weaver shouted.
CJ wrapped Kerry in a hug, and both of them squealed like pigs.
Dr. Carter, Sam and Josh watched in amusement. "Oh my God, were you two like, totally best friends?" Josh asked.
"Kerry and I graduated from the same high school," CJ explained. "We used to be on the Volleyball team."
"Interesting. I didn't know you played Volleyball Dr. Weaver," said Dr. Carter. He was more interested in how Dr. Weaver, obviously handicapped, could play such a sport with a crutch. Unless she didn't have her crutch in high school. Dr. Carter wondered when he, and the other ER staff would find out, because no one knew.
"I didn't. Claud played and I was the equipment manager. And I served water to all the players. I had little trays with paper cups that had our school mascot on it and I had bottled water, spring water, tap water and...." Kerry noticed that no one was listening so she changed the subject. "Claudia what are you doing here?"
"I'm here with my colleagues Sam Seaborn and Josh Lyman. Or better known as Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Tweedledum here, injured himself, so we brought him in to get sewn up," CJ explained.
Sam nodded and shook Kerry's hand. CJ looked over to Josh who was dying to find out from Dr. Carter how to do that one-handed knot thingy.
"Do you like, take your hand and turn it upside down and twist it? Or do you rotate your wrist and pull?" Josh asked, while moving his hands in weird positions.
"No. I'm not going to tell you Mr. Lyman. I don't want you to go around stitching things that don't need stitching," said Dr. Carter.
"Well I just want to know in case Sam hurts himself again," Josh playfully smacked the back of Sam's head.
"Hey, that hurt!" Sam whined. "You're just mad about the whole Donna thing!"
"She's my assistant!"
CJ looked up at Sam and Josh, "Do I have to separate you? Honestly, this is stupid. I'm going to have a cup of coffee with Kerry and then I'll be back. Don't cause trouble."
CJ and Dr. Weaver left the exam room talking, giggling and reminiscing about the good old days. Dr. Carter mumbled something about seeing another patient and before he left he said, "If you two are going to stay in here, please don't be loud. It bothers the other patients."
Sam and Josh looked at each other. Josh spoke up, "Now what do we do?"
"I don't know," Sam said, touching his head gently. "You want to hit up the cafeteria? I'm kinda hungry."
"Hospital food?" Josh asked. "I don't know about that."
"It'll be fine. They only give the bad food to the patients," Sam said pulling on his jacket. "Let's go."
The two of them left the exam room and walked to the cafeteria. They did not see Donna Moss walking up to the admit desk. Donna rang the bell and the gum-chewing receptionist handed her a chart, "Fill this out and wait in chairs."
"Oh no, I'm not a patient. I'm looking for Sam Seaborn," she said. "Is he still here?"
"Check the board," the receptionist replied in a dismissive manner.
Donna groaned at the receptionist's lack of politeness. She looked around for a moment, as if she was lost, looking for this magical board that was supposed to tell her where her colleagues were.
"You look lost," said a young doctor wearing a blue scrub top.
"I am. I'm looking for Sam Seaborn. Are you the doctor who treated him?" Donna asked.
The young doctor shuffled over to the board and said, "No, that was Dr. Carter. All he had to do was suture your friend's head. I, Dr. Dave Malucci, prefer to do the more challenging stuff."
"Oh well, I don't know. You wouldn't be interested in my amazing medical talents."
"Actually, I would. Donna Moss is the name. Do go on."
Dr. Malucci smiled, "Well first of all there's the ever exciting intubation. You're on a clock. If that tube isn't down the throat, the person is not breathing. You need to get that air flowing fast. And of course, you can't leave out thoracotomies and the thrilling internal cardiac massage. All this and more to save a life."
"Tell me more," Donna demanded breathlessly.
Sam looked over at Josh who was clutching his stomach in agony as waited for the elevator after a quick snack in the hospitals less than appetising cafeteria.
"Oh God!" Josh was now bent over double, his mouth set in a grimace. "I'm dying."
His friend rolled his eyes and jabbed the call button once again, "No you're not."
"Yes I am," Josh shot back, making wheezing noises. "I think I know how it feels to be dying, thank you very much, and that is what it feels like now."
"I don't like the gallows humour, Josh," Sam said, turning the volume of his voice down as he suddenly noticed a few figures standing around in scrubs, watching the pair. "Don't make such a big deal, you probably wolfed down your three burgers too quickly."
"Don't mention food!" Josh warned tilting his head up to face Sam who was looking around for a flight of stairs.
"Come on, Josh." Sam indicated brightly to the stairs just opposite them.
Josh groaned, "No.can't.walk."
The Deputy Communications Director pulled on Josh's sleeve until he started to move, "You're making fuss about nothing. I told you that four servings of french fries and two milkshakes were enough for anyone. But no, you know best, as always."
"It wasn't the fries that did it Sam. That second plate of Jell-O was the misjudgment," Josh concluded as he straightened up and followed in Sam's direction.
Josh's face went as pale as his white dress shirt, he stopped dead on the stairs, prompting a nurse who was dashing down to surgery to nearly run into the back of the two men. "They gave me food poisoning."
"I bet their kitchens are infested with things that scuttle about-"
"Josh," Sam looked at his friend. "Salmonella doesn't scuttle."
Josh raised an eyebrow, "I meant cockroaches."
There was a moment of silence as they rounded a landing then started down another stairway.
"For the love of God, an aspirin and a sharp instrument," Sam said in clipped syllables through his teeth, putting a hand to his already throbbing head.
Josh, however, was relentless in his persecution of hospital cafeteria hygiene.
"BSE, they might be infecting people with BSE so they can get more patients and more money." Josh, who was thoroughly taken with this conspiracy theory, waved his hands around excitedly.
"It's a plan, I tell you." Josh made a fist with one hand and pummeled it into his other palm, his stomach pain long forgotten, "They must be stopped."
Sam took a short breath, "The only problem being that this is a County hospital and they wouldn't really profit from this grand scheme. So unless you develop your theory-"
"I'm working on it," Josh promised as they arrived in the Emergency Room. "Hey, there's that nurse...Abby. She is cute."
"Gonna work the Lyman charm?" Sam ventured, following his gaze. Abby Lockhart was talking to a tall man in a lab coat with dark brown hair, each strand of it liberally coated with hair gel.
Josh pursed his lips and shook his head, "No. Enough adventure for one day. Anyway, from the look of that guy's hair, I would say that was the Croatian boyfriend she was talking about."
"And that wouldn't be you believing Greasy-Haired-Balkan stereotypes, would it?" Sam smirked as they continued on to the admit desk.
"Me? Never," Josh peered into the distance and glimpsed the back of what looked suspiciously like his assistant Donna Moss, listening with rapt attention to an olive-skinned doctor who had the sort of cocky arrogance that Josh detested. Only he was allowed to have that sort of cocky arrogance, it was a Josh Lyman characteristic that no one should dare plagiarise, it was his monopoly.
Josh strutted over to the desk with Sam in pursuit and tapped Donna on the shoulder. Donna held up a hand to halt whatever torrent of abuse Josh was going to throw at her.
"...And then I slip it in, charge up the defibrillators and he's back to life, just like that," the doctor continued to talk and Josh cleared his throat hoping again to gain Donna's full attention.
"Wow, Dr. Dave, that's *amazing*," Donna replied in awe. "Oh, hi Josh."
Josh and Sam were taken aback by her dismissive tone. Josh the most so, aggravated mostly that Donna had found another Gomer or Dr. 'Freeride' to add to her long list of possible suitors.
Josh raised his eyebrows, "Oh so it's *Doctor* Dave. Well excuse me, Donnatella, *Mister* Sam and I are going to check on CJ and her trip down memory lane."
Donna flicked a strand of hair from her face and gave her boss a smug smile, "My, my, someone's at their quippiest today, Josh."
"Quppiest," Josh contemplated. "Is that even a word?"
"No," Sam offered. He received a small glare from Josh and looked to the floor quickly. "That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?"
"I just remembered," Donna exclaimed, clapping her hand on Josh's arm. "You're late."
"Is Leo mad?" Sam asked fearfully.
"Well he was doing the thing where-"
"His neck muscles tense slightly?" Josh finished with an air of apprehension.
"Yeah, and Toby was looking for his balls." Donna heard a smirk being emitted from Dr. Malucci's mouth, "His stress balls, the ones he throws against Sam's wall."
The doctor deadpanned, "Right, I didn't think-"
Josh cut in abruptly, "I'm just gonna bring CJ back into the 21st century." He headed to the doctors' lounge where CJ's loud laughter was floating out of the open door.
Donna raised her voice and called after Josh, "Air Force One leaves in an hour. Leo told me to come here and physically drag you three over to O'Hare, so make it snappy."
Josh spun on his heel and glanced at his watch, "I thought we left at noon."
"Yes, and it would be noon in an hour, hence me-"
Looking at his watch again Josh groaned, "My watch does suck."
Dr. Malucci grinned at Donna and Sam, "Air Force One. You guys are G-men, cool."
For the first time, Donna was pulled out of her Dr. Dave-fixated trance. "G-women too!"
"Right," Dr. Malucci kept grinning. "There are some totally hot chicks in the government too."
"Chicks?" Donna scowled.
Sam leant back on the desk. "Wow," he said under his breath, "and you thought Josh was egotistic."
"Shut up Sam. I don't need to hear anymore attitude from men," said Donna. "I'll be in the car. I want all three of you outside in ten minutes!"
Dr. Malucci stopped Donna as she was about to leave, "Leaving so soon, are we?"
"Yes, I have to leave. But if I'm ever in Chicago again, I'll stop by and hear more about your angioplasties."
Dr. Carter overheard what Donna said and assumed Dave told her that. "Dave, you've never done an angioplasty!"
"Shut up man," Dr. Malucci mumbled.
"Oh my!" Donna chuckled to herself and then said to Sam, "Ten minutes. No later."
Sam nodded. He then shook Dr. Carter's hand and said, "Thank you Dr. Carter. And I'm sorry Josh was an idiot."
"It's okay. And you're welcome. Be careful now," Dr. Carter and Sam turned to go into the lounge.
Josh was there waiting impatiently for Kerry and CJ to say goodbye.
"I'm going to miss you so much Claudia!" Kerry said. "You must call me if you are ever in Chicago again."
"I will. You have my cell phone number, call me any time," CJ said.
"Ready CJ?" Sam asked with a hint of urgency.
"Yes, just let me grab my coat."
"Donna has a car outside. Be there in five."
Dr. Malucci entered the lounge just as Sam and Josh walked out. Josh gave Dave a dirty look for flirting with Donna.
"Hey," said Dr. Malucci. "You belong with those G-Men?"
"Unfortunately," CJ said, putting her purse on her shoulder.
"You're also friends with Weaver aren't you?" Dr. Malucci asked.
"Old friends yes, why?"
"Do you know how it happened?"
"How what happened?"
Dr. Carter, who was drinking coffee, knew what Dave was getting at. "Dave, that's none of your business."
Dr. Malucci ignored his friend. "How Weaver got her crutch."
"Oh." CJ said. "Well I don't know if I should tell you."
"Okay." CJ said, "Here goes."
CJ moved towards Dave in a conspiratorial manner, brushing the hair back from her face. "At a grade school swim meet. Kerry kicked off from the pool wall on a turn, but she'd misjudged it, and she hit her leg right into it with a lot of force. So, she's got a bad knee, really, and back then they couldn't do anything for it."
Dr. Malucci looked thoroughly disappointed. "That's it?"
CJ gave him a look. "You think I'm lying to you?"
"Well, you *are* a politician, *and* associated with the press, I might add, so making the chances of you telling me the truth minimal," Dr. Malucci replied, earning him another of CJ's looks. If she had given Sam or Josh *that* look, then they would have stopped a long time ago, but the doctor kept on, "Well, why hasn't she had surgery? Surely they could fix her knee?"
"That's still none of your business, Dave," Dr. Carter added. He opened the door for CJ, "Thank you for coming, Ms. Cregg."
"No, thank you." CJ gave Dr. Carter a smile, "I'm sure the next time we're in Chicago for the elections, we'll drop by. Sam's bound to hit his head on something. He's very consistent."
Dr. Carter pushed the ambulance bay doors open with a chuckle. "So, Dr. Weaver was a keen swimmer?"
"No," CJ admitted. "But if I'd told him how it *really* happened, do you think he would have believed me?"
"Putting some spin on the facts, were you?" Dr. Carter asked, eyes widening as he considered what really happened to Dr. Weaver's leg.
CJ held up her hands, "It's my job."
"Nice to meet you," Dr. Carter said, shaking CJ's hand as they reached a dark, anonymous car. "My warmest regards to the President and good luck to you all for re-election."
"That's a bit in the premature, but thanks," CJ replied with a smile as she got into the car.
As usual, Josh was the first one to speak up. "Canvassing votes already, CJ?"
"Somebody's got to get back to politics whilst you two are having accidents and getting food poisoning," CJ smirked as the car started and drove into the busy street outside the hospital.
Josh then remembered the stomach pain he was supposed to have, "I'm gonna get that checked out by Dr. Bartlet, could be something serious. I could be dying from some terrible thing. *Again*."
CJ, Sam and Donna glared at Josh for the last comment, and he then shrank back into his seat. They rode for a few minutes in silence, which was a novel experience for them all.
"Not that you would care if I got food-poisoning," Josh turned on Donna. "You're all set up with *Dr.* Dave, I'm sure you could go do angioplasties with him if I could never work again."
Donna gave CJ and Sam the 'look what I have to put up with' face and slapped Josh up the side of his head.
"Serves you right," Donna replied, crossing her arms.
Sam moaned and rubbed his neck, "Please, guys. It hurts enough as it is without you two bickering at such an amplitude."
Josh quietened for a moment and then turned to CJ. "Y'know what I heard from one of the people in the hospital."
CJ rolled her eyes impatiently, "What?"
A smile crept across Josh's face as he replied flippantly. "She's gay."
CJ's eyes widened. "She's WHAT?"
"Guess the 'you must have a man' comment seems pretty ironic now," Sam added, his face deadpanned but his eyes were sparkling with amusement.
"Shut up, Sam," CJ scowled.