One Day At A Time




******************

Mark went over in his head all the things he wanted to say to Carter. None of which sounded any good to him. He decided that he had better come up with something before he knocked on the door, otherwise, he'd look and feel like an idiot. Something was up, he didn't know what, but he was going to find out. Carter hadn't looked well for weeks now. Hopefully, it was just the flu or something, but Mark didn't hold out much hope for that, not after all Carter had endured in the past few months.

*******************

The chair was more comfortable than he had originally thought, and John snuggled down into a cover and went back to sleep. He just coudln't seem to get enough sleep. It had to be the Naltrexone that was making him so damned tired that he had absolutely no energy. He had only been asleep for a few minutes when his heart started beating so fast and furiosly, it woke him up. "Oh my God," he thought, "What the hell is happening to me!"

He waited a few moments after being startled awake before he tried to get up out of the chair. He was afraid to move. His heart was beating way too fast, just what the hell were Mark and Kerry trying to do to him, kill him? That may just be their solution..."No," He thought, "that's paranoid." He tried to calm himself, which was no easy feat, considering every nerve ending in his body was in high gear. He took several deep breaths, using the relaxation techniques he learned in rehab. It wasn't working. His heart was still pounding out of his chest, and now his head was pounding in time to his heart. "Great, just great," John muttered as he went back toward the bathroom and the Advil.

He was just coming out of the bathroom, wrapped in a down comforter, when the knock came on the door.

He moved through his small kitchen and looked out the window. "What the hell was Mark Green doing here?" He thought about ignoring the steady knocking, but thought better of it. After all, he did want to keep his job, for the time being at least.

"Mark, uh...hi....what are you doing here?" John asked.

"We need to talk." Mark simply stated, and entered, without being asked in.

*******************

Maintenance had supplied Kerry with the needed information, and she quickly and quietly went into the lounge. No one else was around, and she took the opportunity. She quickly opened Carter's locker, and was searching intently. She never heard the lounge door open.

"Dr. Weaver, what do you think you're doing?" Abby asked.

Kerry gave Abby a startled look, "what needed to be done months ago."

"That's a violation of personal rights Dr. Weaver, and I think you already know that." Abby said, clearly angry.

"Look Abby, I know you and Carter are friends, but he just isn't acting right. Have you noticed that lately? You are the one supposed to be watching out for him here at work."

"Yes, I have noticed that, but believe me, it's not drugs. So, if that's what you're looking for, you can just close the door Kerry. He's clean. He has done anything and everything you've asked of him, this just isn't right, and you damn well know it!"

"It's my responsibility to keep this ER running. I have to cover my butt Abby. I trusted John..." Kerry let the sentence hang.

"And?" Abby asked.

"And, he broke that trust with me, I don't intend to be made out a fool again." Kerry finished.

"Oh, and his drug problem was YOUR problem? Just what the hell kind of egomanical crap is that? What are you thinking? This is a human being, one you've worked with for years, and this is all he gets from you? You don't think it kills him to know what little trust you have in him? Just think for a minute Kerry, about someone other than yourself, and your almighty ER responsibilities! How much do you think Carter trusts you? I can tell you! Too damned much! And what does he get in return...NOTHING! You tell him, 'talk to me, you can tell me anything' and what do you do? Use it against him! What the hell kind of friend is that?"

Abby walked to her own locker, turned the padlock, and took it off of her locker. She then excused herself, walked past Kerry, slammed John's locker door shut, and applied her lock to it. "There, now go get maintenance or whoever gave you his lock combination, and get mine, I'll sue your ass!"

The two women stood facing each other, each ready to put up a fight. Kerry knew she was beat, and retreated. She moved toward the door, then turned back to Abby, "I'm only trying to look out for John's best interests, whether you believe that or not...."

"No, I don't Dr. Weaver. And you can explain to Carter, just why my lock is on his locker when he comes back in tomorrow. I won't remove it. If I find it off of Carter's locker tomorrow, I'll know why, how and by whom, and you can be sure, I'll call an attorney."

Kerry flung the door open to the lounge, and moved out to the hallway.

"Hey chief, any interesting cases on the board?" Malucci said in his usual happy tone.

"Get out of my way Malucci." Kerry said angrily and stalked off.

Dave entered the lounge with a perplexed look on his face, "Geez, who pissed in her cornflakes this morning?"

"Don't worry about it Dave, it has nothing to do with you." Abby said moving away from Carter's locker.

*************** "So, what did I do now?" John retorted.

"It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do." Mark said, in the most calming voice he could muster.

"What I didn't do?" John asked.

"You haven't been taking the Naltrexone have you?" Mark said in more of a statement than a question.

John looked at the floor. "No." He stated simply.

"May I ask why?"

"Quite honestly, it's making me sick as a dog. I haven't felt this bad since I had the flu five years ago. I just can't take this stuff any more."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because you and Kerry were so gung-ho that I had to take this stuff as part of my uh...rehab...and getting back to work. I didn't have a choice and you know it. Nor, did I have the right to complain about what you and Kerry have made me do to my own body. That's just wrong and you know it!" John swayed slightly on his feet, his head was pounding, and his heart was beating so hard in his chest, he was afraid it was going to jump into his throat. He sat down hard in the chair, holding his head.

"How long have you had the headache?" Mark asked suddenly more concerned about his physical health.

"I told you, I've had this headache for weeks." John said.

"No, you hadn't told me." Mark said.

John looked up confused, "I didn't?"

"No. What else is going on?" Mark asked.

"It has to be side effects from the Naltrexone." John said, evading the question.

"Tell me what else is going on Carter?" Mark asked again.

John didn't seem to be able to follow the conversation, and Mark's image was getting blurry around the edges, it was making him feel nauseous.

"Excuse me." John practically ran to the bathroom, bumping into furniture along the way. He slammed the door and locked it, the tea he had just finished was no more. He leaned against the bathroom wall, willing Mark Green to just leave, just leave and leave him alone.

"Carter, you okay?" Mark asked.

Obviously, his will didn't work, he was still here.

"No, I'm not okay. Please leave."

"No, I'm not leaving, you have something going on Carter...how long ago did you take yourself off of the Naltrexone?"

"Only a couple of days ago. I figure a few more days and I'll be good as new."

"One problem." Mark stated.

"What's that?" John asked slowly standing to open the door. He wasn't going to leave, he might as well get this conversation out of the way.

"You had non-detectible levels of Naltrexone. It shouldn't be causing all of this." Mark said, "why don't we go down to County and discreetly get some tests done to make sure it isn't the Naltrexone. If it is, then we'll have to re-evaluate your using it."

"What kind of tests?" John stood holding onto the doorframe. His heart was beating way too fast, and he knew it. He was light-headed, and felt like he was going to get sick again, on what, he had no idea....this is the worst he had felt in his life, of that he was sure.

"LFT's for one thing. If it's the Naltrexone, and it's causing problems, your liver enzymes will be elevated." Mark said, "and while we're there, we'll get another UA and see what your Naltrexone levels are."

John held onto the door frame for dear life. The color had drained from his face.

"Carter? You okay?"

Mark's face went in and out of focus. His hands felt like pins and needles were attacking them from the inside out. Then, he felt a hot flush wash over him. "I need to sit down."

John slid down the doorway, and sat on the floor. He pulled his robe from around him, he was so hot.

Mark took two quick steps over to where his friend and co-worker sat on the floor. He put his hand to his head. He didn't feel particularly hot.

"What are you doing?" John asked.

"Thought you may have a temperature, you're face is flushed. You don't feel particularly warm though."

"Tell my body that, I feel like I'm burning up from the inside out, just what the hell are you and Kerry trying to do to me?"

"Come on, let's get you dressed. I want to get some tests done. I don't think this is from the drug Carter."

"So says you, I was fine until I started taking this stuff." John said wiping at the perspiration that had popped out on his face.

Mark searched around until he found shoes and socks for John. He brought him a washcloth, and helped him get up off of the floor.

"Do you need to let your Grandmother know where you're going?" Mark asked.

"No, I don't want her to worry." John said.

"Come on, I'll drive you in."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather take my jeep, you can drive, but I have an aversion to your mini-van, go figure."

Mark shot him a perplexed look, then understanding what he meant, decided not to argue the point, "where are your keys?"

**************************

Millicent Carter watched from the window as Dr. Greene and John got into John's jeep and drove off. She had no idea what was going on. John didn't tell her anything anymore. Must be something work-related, she tried to focus her attention on something else. John would let her know in his time. She sighed and moved away from the window.

****************************

The drive into County was mostly silent. When they got closer John asked, "and how do you suggest we make this as discreet as possible?"

"I'm thinking about that. I'll go in first and see what exam room is clear, that way we can have some privacy and no one has to know you're here okay?"

"I guess that'll have to do." John didn't even really care anymore. He had been through every indignity the ER could possibly offer another human being, what was one more?

Mark parked John's jeep off to the side of the ambulance bay doors. "I'll be right back, sit tight okay?"

"Yeah." John mumbled.

Mark returned a few minutes later, "Go to Exam 3, close the door, I'll be right in."

Mark disappeared inside the hospital, expecting John to follow within a few minutes.

John opened the door, and went to stand up, the world got fuzzy again. He stood waiting for his vision to clear before he tried to walk into the hospital. The last thing he needed was to pass out in the snow, although, that would have helped considering he felt like he was burning up.

He made it as far as the ambulance bay doors, when the dizziness and nausea overtook him again, he felt himself falling, and had nothing to hold onto. He landed hard and rolled onto his side, he had enough presence of mind to know he didn't want to aspirate if he got sick again.

*******************

Mark waited inside the exam room for several minutes, he glanced at his watch, it had been too long, what the hell was Carter waiting for? He walked out of the exam room, and toward the ambulance bay doors.

"Oh shit!" Mark said under his breath as he saw John's still form lying on the ground.

"Hey! I need a gurney out here!"



Part 6
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