Don't Want You Back





"Elizabeth!" Mark screamed in horror as he rushed to the side of his injured fiancee. "Elizabeth no, this can't be happening". Susan stood frozen to the ground. She quietly watched Mark stroke Elizabeth's curly hair as the surgeon lay on the cold, hard pavement.

"Mark I......." she began to speak.

"Don't just stand there!" Mark yelled in anger. "Go fetch some help"

"Right" Susan replied as she took one last look at the unconscious woman.

"Now Susan!" Mark screamed. "It's okay sweetheart" he said in a soothing tone, returning his attention back to his fiancee. "You're going to be okay, everything is going to be fine" But will everything be okay, he thought. I have to be strong. Have hope. For....for Elizabeth's sake. Because if she dies tonight, it is my fault. As Mark glanced to his left, he caught a quick glimpse of Susan's shadow disappear into the distant night.

*******

"Coming through, move out of the way!" Chuny shouted as she helped to pull the gurney carrying Elizabeth through the ER.

"Is that Dr Corday?" Randi asked as they passed the Admin desk.

"She was knocked over by an ambulance outside" the nurse answered.

"Take her into Trauma Three" Mark ordered as he ran beside the moving gurney.

"Hey I hope she's okay" Randi shouted some encouraging words to him.

Mark and the nurses entered the room, only to find Romano working on another patient. "Dr Greene, how nice of you to drop in like this" he grinned sarcastically.

"Robert we need this room........" Mark started to speak but was interrupted.

"Oh you need the room" Robert laughed. "Incase I am mistaken, I do believe I was here first. It's also good manners to use the magic little word please when making such a request. Honestly Dr Greene, did your mother never teach you......."

"It's Elizabeth!" Mark snapped back. His girlfriend's life was hanging in the balance whilst Robert was standing there making his usual offensive comments.

"Lizzie..........." Robert paused as he glanced at the woman lying on the gurney. "Move this patient to Curtain Three, Have Peter work on him" he instructed Conni and Haleh. "Bring Lizzie in here now, c'mon quickly, stat!"

"Okay gently on my count" Mark said as they prepared to transfer his fiancee onto another gurney. "1, 2, 3! Let's get a CBC, Type and Cross Match for four, PT test, Chem 7, blood gas, coag panel and a peritoneal lavage"

"BP's 70/50, pulse is 60" Abby informed them.

"Okay give her a milligram of atrophine, 10 of dopamine, start a large bore IV of normal saline and hook her up to an EKG" Robert ordered. He stared at the surgeon lying on the gurney. Blood trickled down her pale forehead onto her clean, white gown. He didn't care about many people in the hospital but Elizabeth was one of the few he actually did give a damn about. Although she had once turned down his advances and was now due to marry another man, she held a very special place in his barren heart. It was hurting for him to watch her lying there.

"How is Elizabeth doing?" Luka asked as he entered the trauma room with Dave.

"It's quite serious" Abby answered quietly.

"Oh gawd, it really is Elizabeth" Dave said, rather shocked at the sight of the patient.

"That's Lizzie?" Romano asked in his usual sarcastic tone. "No, I thought it was the tooth fairy!"

"Abby get a foetal monitor in here and set up the ultrasound please" Mark requested, interrupting the chief of staff's conversation with Malucci.

"Start a round of 10cc's bolus every five minutes and order a chest and abdomen series" Luka ordered.

"Lets also get a head CT" Robert added.

"She's pregnant though" Mark protested. "The baby shouldn't be exposed to radiation"

"Yes, but a low dose of radiation is much safer for the kiddie than the misdiagnosis of a serious surgical case" Robert replied, knowing that he was right and Mark was wrong.

"BP's falling, 60/50, heart rate down to 50!" Chuny shouted to the doctors.

"Push another milligran of atrophine" Dave replied.

"No breath sounds on the right, hyperresonant on the left. She's got a tension pneumo" Luka told them, throwing his stethoscope back around his shoulders. "We need to perform a needle decompression"

"Lavage is positive" Yosh said worringly.

"Where's the damn ultrasound!" Robert shouted in anger.

"It's here" Abby answered timidly, wheeling the machine over to the surgeon.

"Thank you Miss Lockhart! What does it take to get some service around here? Apparently not being involved in a MVA"

"She was busy checking Elizabeth's vitals!" Luka argued. He was not going to allow Robert to shout at his girlfriend.

"Oh really Dr Kovac? Well I apologise then. We will all just stand back and let our patient slowly bleed to death whilst Nurse Lockhart checks her vitals!"

"Just be quiet all of you!" Mark snapped, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "The woman I love is dying on this bed, and none of you seem to give a damn!"

"Dr Greene, we've lost the pulse!" Chuny shouted.

"Start compressions, I'll intubate" he replied.

"Pulse Ox down to 82" Abby added as she removed the clip to measure it from Elizabeth's middle finger.

"I'm in, bag her" Mark announced as he completed the intubation. His hands were shaking and the back of his throat felt as dry as a desert. Every word he spoke he almost choked on his tears. A thousand emotions were flooding right through him - anger, sadness, guilt, desperation, unhappiness........ Whatever happened tonight, these few hours would stay in Mark Greene's memory forever.

"Okay lets take a look at the abdomen" Robert said solemnly as he gently applied some gel onto the area.

"There's an abruption to the right side of the placenta" Dave pointed out on the screen.

"Oh god" Mark cried. He not only faced losing his beloved fiancee but also their unborn child.

"There's definately some uterine tenderness" Abby noted as she pressed her hands around Elizabeth's abdomen. As an OB and ER nurse she had seen both sorrow and joy every day. She could only pray that Elizabeth and her daughter would survive. "We should give her a milligram of tetanus toxoid incase of a hemorrhage" she suggested.

"Foetal heart rate falling!" Yosh told them as he watched the monitor.

"The baby needs volume" Luks replied. "Give it oxygen and pump in two units of whole blood"

"Oh great" Robert sighed.

"What is it?" Mark asked in a worried tone.

"There is a blood clot to the right of the abdomen"

"Dr Greene" Chuny called out the physician's name. "She's bleeding out!" Mark watched in horror as the nurse lifted up the foley bag only to see Elizabeth's blood quickly dripping into it.

"Give her five of heparin and put four units of AB on the rapid infuser" Robert started to speak as he took control of the horrible situation. "Yosh, call surgery and book an OR. I also want you to page Dr Coburn form Obstetrics down here" As he gave his orders, the machines around Elizabeth started to bleep wildly.

"She's in V-Fib!" Chuny yelled at the top of her voice.

"Paddles" Dave ordered. "Charge to 60, clear!"

"Still in V-Fib" Abby replied.

"I can't watch this" Mark said as steadied his shaking body. "I'm so sorry Elizabeth" he cried before dashing out of the room.

"Charge to 100" Dave continued. "Clear!"

*******

Through the large glass windows, Mark watched the doctors struggle to save Elizabeth's life. It was hard to believe that the woman lying motionless on the gurney was the same woman he had woke up beside that very morning. It was also hard to believe that in the next hour he faced losing the one woman that he loved with all his great heart and soul. She looks so pale and lifeless, he thought, as he wiped away the tears that were falling from the corners of his eyes. It doesn't look like Elizabeth at all. Perhaps I just don't want to believe it is her. I've spent my whole life searching. Searching for my one true soulmate. The woman I am destined to spend eternity with. The woman who would fill my life with love, hope, security and happiness. Now I've found you Elizabeth, am I just supposed to let you go? Remember when we headed to a medical conference hosted in the Midland Hotel? We got lost trying to find the conference room and ended up dancing the tango in the ballroom. We had so much fun that night, I never wanted the day to end. Do you remember our first kiss? It was by the lakeside, after we missed our trip on a cruise boat. Bright, tiny stars lit up the dark sky above us, the harbourside lights twinkled and glitterd around us. I will never forget the first time I held you in my warm embrace. Every dayI spent with you made me feel like the luckiest man alive in this world. I could hardly believe it when you agreed to marry me. You stood by me throughtout my illness. Even when I gave up hope you kept on believing that we could pull through. As I lay on that hospital bed, practically at death's door I knew I had a reason to live for. That reason was you Elizabeth. You and our unborn child. You can't understand what pain I'm feeling right now. It is my fault you are lying there in the trauma room. Finally I've realised that you are the only person I truly care about. I love you Elizabeth Corday, please don't leave me.

"Mark" a female voice broke him out of his deep thoughts.

"What do you want Susan?" he asked coldly. If Susan had never came back maybe this mess could have been prevented.

"I came to see how Elizabeth is" she answered staring at the marble floor below. She couldn't look Mark in the eye. This accident was mostly her fault and she felt horribly guilty. "I also came to apologise"

"What's the point in saying sorry now?" Mark replied ."Damage is done. Luka said there's a strong chance she might not pull through."

"Elizabeth's a fighter, she will survive"

"How can you be so sure Susan?" Mark questioned her, whilst throwing her a cold stare. "Even if she does survive, wil my unborn child? What if I lose both of them tonight? Susan I wish......I wish you had never came back"

Susan walked away sadly after Mark's last words. "I wish I had never came back too" she whispered as she headed towards the elevators. Everywhere she went, she brought unhappiness and pain to the people she cared most about. Chloe, Susie.................and now Mark. What Susan needed to do was let go of the past.

********

Susan walked slowly along the long, empty corridor. The only noise that could be heard was the sound of her tiny, black heels clicking along the marble floor. Usually this corridor would be full of hardworking doctors dashing around the hospital but tonight was an exceptionally quiet night. Except for one horrible accident that constantly preyed at the back of her mind. Susan stopped in front of a large, wooden door which sat beside a small, glass window. 'Neonatal Intensive Care Unit'. She stared sadly at the sight of a tiny baby lying in an incubator with tubes and wires hooked up to nearly part of it's body. Poor child, she shook her head in sympathy. A young, innocent infant did not deserve to be punished with such a horrible illness. No child did.

*** "Dr Lewis, a man in Curtain Three is complaing of back ache" Holly informed, handng Susan over a chart.

"Okay, could you discharge Mrs Anderson for me and check the vitals on Mr Harris in Curtain two" Susan said walking away from the reception area. Five hours still to go, Susan sighed as she glanced at her watch. She couldn't wait till the end of her shift. Tonight was little Susie's third brithday and Susan had organised a small party for the toddler and some of her friends from play school. Her neice was her life and she would simply do anything to please the little girl. "Hello Mr Walden" Susan greeted her patient as she entered the small room. "I hear you are experiencing some back ache"

"I've been waiting one hour!" the man cried in anger. "One hour!"

"Dr Lewis!" Holly shouted as she opened the door. "Dr Lewis your sister has arrived, I think your neice is ill"

"What?" Susan exclaimed as she threw the chart she had been holding onto the floor and dashed down the corridor to the trauma rooms.

"Hey I've been waiting one hour!" she heard the man shout one last time. As much as she sympathised with the ill man, her neice was her main priority. "What happened?" she asked, rushing to the toddler's side.

"She had a slight fever this morning" Chloe cried in a panic stricken state. "When I checked on her later on, she had a rash on her face"

"Temperature is 99.2" Holly informed them.

"Could be meningitis" Susan said, looking worringly at Dr Jeff Spiller.

"It's probably German Measles" he replied. "Mild fever, swollen glands, a rash of tiny pink spots on the face and limbs, all the classic symptoms of Rubella"

"There's also some tiny lumps behind the ears" Holly added as she checked all of Susie's vitals.

"We should do a spinal tap to rule it out anyway" Susan ordered. "Lets also get some blood work done, an urine analysis, Chem 7 and a white blood cell count"

"Is she going to be okay?" Chloe asked.

"I don't think it's anything particulary serious" Jeff answered. "Holly hook Susie up to an IV of normal saline and give her paracetamol to treat the fever"

"It's okay sweetheart" Susan smiled, stroking her neice's curly, blode hair. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise. ***

Everything wasn't going to be okay though. Susan had broke that promise to her neice. Tragedy always lay just around the corner for Susan Lewis and her family, but no one could have predicted the cruel events that lay just a few weeks away.

*******

"Charge to 150, clear!" Dave shouted.

"She's back in sinus rhythm" Abby told him. "Strong pulse too"

"Shame we couldn't save the child as well" Luks spoke bitterly, pulling off his blood stained gloves.

"Dr Corday was still in her first trimester. The baby didn't stand a chance of survival" Janet Coburn said sadly.

"Lets take her up the OR now" Robert sighed, helping to wheel the gurney out of the room.

"I'll inform Mark" Abby replied as she ran her hand through her short hair.

"Elizabeth" Mark cried with delight as he rushed to her side. "Oh Elizabeth"

"Mark.........." Abby called his name quietly.

"Elizabeth you don't know how relieved I am to know you're alive"

"Mark there's something I have to tell you" Abby said, trying her best to hold back her tears. "The baby..........the baby"

"Please don't tell me we lost our little girl" Mark pleaded with the nurse. "Please Abby" Abby stared at him sadly. She placed her hand on his shoulder as a comforting gesture. There was nothing she could do to relieve him of the pain of the situation.

"I'm so sorry Dr Greene" she continued. "Elizabeth suffered a miscarriage"

"No" Mark shook his head in disbelief. "No, this can't be happening. Our daughter, no,no!!"

"Greene!" Robert interrupted. "I want to know what exactly happened to Elizabeth" he demanded. "The paramedics told me she ran out in front of the ambulance in a very distressed state. So what the hell happened?"

"Dr Romano, try to show some compassion" Abby whispered. "He has just lost his baby"

"Yes and I want to know how this accident happened"

"She was knocked over by a moving vehicle" Mark looked at the surgeon straight in the eye, rather annoyed by his question. It wasn't exactly his business anyway.

"Really?" Robert asked sarcastically. "Wow for aminute there I thought she had a touch of the stomach flu"

"Okay Robert, you want the truth? The truth is Elizabeth saw Susan and I kiss. She was in a state of shock and didn't see the oncoming ambulance"

"Oh so the reason for this accident was because you were caught carrying on with another woman!" Robert spat, waving his arms frantically in the air.

"It didn't mean a thing" Mark protested in his innocence. "Susan was upset......."

"And being a true gentleman you decided the best way to comfort Dr Lewis was to play tonsil tennis with her"

"I don't care about Susan, I love Elizabeth"

"Well you have a great way of showing it Mark. I just hope Elizabeth pulls through, for your sake if nothing else!" After his threatening words, Robert stormed off, following Chuny, Yosh and Elizabeth towards the elevators. Meanwhile Mark walked away in the opposite direction of his adversory.

"How does he do it?" Dave shook his head as he exited the trauma room. "He's got two woman fighting after him and I don't even have one single girlfriend"

"Shut up Dave" Abby mumbled under her breath before following Mark.

Must be her time of the month, Dave thought to himself whilst walking down the corridor to reception. I mean who could resist the charms of Dr David Malucci?

*******

Susan sat outside on the large, concrete steps beside the hospital entrance. She lifted the cigarette she was holding to her mouth and inhaled the sweet nicotine. Running her free hand through the thick strands of her hair, she stared at the tiny handful of stars in the sky. Her mother once told her that every star represented a human who had passed away. So were Chloe and Susie up there too? Susan felt the bitter wind blow gently against her face as she close her sparkling blue eyes.

** Susan stroked her sister's raven black hair. Her face was pale white, almost the colour of a ghost. The gown she was wearing was drenched in bright red blood. The doctors had given her intravenous drugs and blood tranfusions but her injuries were too severe. When she arrested, they cracked her chest open and shocked her heart for an hour. It was no use though, there was nothing else they could do to save her. Chloe Lewis died at tweny five minutes past two in the afternoon. Susan had given that same speech to thousands of patients families. Never did she imagine another doctor would tell her the same words. Little Susie had died at the scene of the accident. It was quite tragic really. The toddler had spent weeks fighting an illness, only to be killed on release from the hospital. What really hurt was that this time Chloe had been determined to change her life around. When Susie was admitted to the ER for German Measles, Chloe seeked professional help for her drug and alcohol addictions. She also managed to receive a job working in a small cafe near Susan's bungalow. Chloe seemed like a changed woman. Susie was released from the Pediatric ward two weeks later. As Chloe drove her daughter home, a careless driver had drove through a red light and ploughed straight into their tiny car. The most tragic thing was that the driver who ran the red light was Chloe's ex-boyfriend Joe. The man who had broken off their relationship which prompted her to turn up at Susan's doorstep. What had followed from that day on was a tragic chain of events which resulted in the death's of Susan's sister and neice.**

I wish I could see them again, Susan sighed as she threw her cigarette into the deep pile of snow that lay before her feet. All I want to do is speak to them one last time, say goodbye properly. Hold Susie in my arms and give her a big, warm hug. I can't turn back the time, so why can't I move on in life?

*******

Mark sipped his warm cup of coffee before placing it on the table beside Elizabeth's bed. He had been sitting here for about an hour and a half. The surgery had beena great success and Elizabeth was expected to make a full recovery.

"Hello sweetie" he smiled as he watched the English woman's eyes finally flutter open.

"Mark" she whispered in reply.

"You were involved in an accident" he told her. "Do you remember? You were knocked over by an ambulance. We rushed you to the ER and treated you for severe abdominal trauma. Your heart stopped beating, so did mine for a moment. I thought I was going to lose you, I couldn't even watch the doctors help you. We brought you upstairs to the OR where Robert and Peter performed surgery on you"

"That's what you usually do the OR" Elizabeth laughed in a low voice. "I should know" Mark laughed with her as he ran his fingers through her long, curly hair.

"You don't know how frightened I was. All I could think about was all the great times we shared together. All the events we had planned for the future, our wedding, the honeymoon........

"The baby" Elizabeth interrupted. Mark suddenly became very quiet when she mentioned their child.

"Elizabeth, I don't know how to tell you this"

"I lost didn't I? I lost out daughter"

"I'm afraid so" he nodded his head.

"Why? Why did this have to happen to me? I wanted our baby so much, I could have been a great mother"

"I know, you would have made a super mom"

"So why was my child taken away from me? What did I ever do to deserve this? Why Mark, why? I just want my baby, I just want my baby" The woman burst into a flood of tears at the tragedy that had befell her. For weeks she been planning the birth of her child. Looking at cots and cribs, buying toys and teddies. Now her daughter had been cruelly taken away from her, her heart ached for her the baby. "I'm so sorry Mark, I'm sorry"

"No Elizabeth, you have nothing to be sorry about, it's my fault you are lying there"

"Mark............"

"No let me finish" he replied, the tears rolling down his cheeks onto the pair of green surgical scrubs he was wearing. "I shouldn't have kissed Susan. If I hadn't this accident could have been prevented. We might have not lost our baby then. I never meant to hurt you, I love you. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me at this moment, but if you can ever forgive me, I will promise to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy again"

"I can't hate you Mark" she replied after a long pause of silence. "Like you always say, we're soulmates. We are destined to be together"

"I think that's the drugs talking" Mark laughed as he placed his hand on top of Elizabeth's, clasping it tight with his long fingers.

"I am hurting inside, but we can pull through this" she said, thoroughly determined to save her relationship. "I don't want to lose you Mark, I don't think I could live without you. We just need to have hope" As the early sunlight streamed through the recovery room windows, the two doctors held each other tight. Each one feeling safe in the other's embrace. The vents of the previous night had made them both see how much they needed one another. Mark Greene and Elizabeth Corday could only emerge from their troubles as a much stronger couple.

*******

"What a night!" John exclaimed as he entered the locker room.

"Busy shift?" Susan inquired as she packed her white lab coat and stethoscope into her small rucksack.

"The usual" he laughed. "Twenty one patients and a huge pile of paperwork. All I want to do is go home, have a nice, relaxing bath and then go to bed"

"Yeh, tonight has been rough on all of us" she nodded.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Uh.......I guess I should probably tell you this" Susan sighed deeply.

"Tell me what? As long as you are not admitting to being Dr Romano's secret wife, you can tell me absolutely anything"

"No it's definately not that" she laughed. "I'm moving to Denver"

"You're leaving County?" John asked in a state of shock. He had finally adjusted to having his good friend back around the hospital. Now she was leaving again? "Why? You've only been here a couple of months" he questioned her actions.

"The truth is I should never have came back here in the first place" she answered. "After Chloe and Susie's deaths, I tried to search for a way to re-live the past. It was childish for me to come back here and expect to win Mark's heart. He has a new life now, he moved on. Just look at the trouble I caused tonight." The two doctors made their way past reception and left the hospital through the grand double doors. "Mark is a part of my past, as is Chloe and Susie " she continued. "You can't change the past, dwelling on it only brings you misery and sadness. I learned that today John. I have to look forward to the future"

"Well I guess this is goodbye then" John replied, feeling a large lump form at the back of his throat.

"Goodbye Carter" she hugged him tightly. "Thank you, you have always been there for me when I needed you the most"

"Well you've been a pretty good friend too" he smiled. "I just hope the future brings you all the happiness you so richly deserve"

"See you later" Susan kissed him lightly on the forehead before walking away.

"Hey Dr Lewis!" John called. Susan turned around to see a snowball graze her shoulder. "Goodbye!" he laughed before heading off in the direction of the hospital's car park. Susan took one last look at Cook County General. It had brought her a lot of memories. Some of joy, some of sorrow. As an ambulance drew up with it's lights flashing brightly, she turned back around and walked away into the snow covered distance. Finally, Dr Susan Lewis could let go of her past.

Authors Notes: Well sadly 'Don't Want You Back' has come to an end. I hope you enjoyed the final installment and the series has a whole. I apologise to all Susan Lewis fans who wished her to win this batttle over Mark. I like Susan too but I believe Mark and Elizabeth belong together as a couple. This fanfic was about Susan learning to let go of her past and Mark was a part of this past. Now that she has finally learned to move on, she can hopefully lead a much happier life in Denver. As always feedback is greatly accepted. I'd love to know what your thought are on this fanfic. Did you enjoy reading it or did you dislike it? How can I improve my writing and what different storylines about any character would you like to see me tackle? Thanks for reading 'Don't Want You Back' and look out for my next fanfic!






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