Drive... Me Crazy

AUTHOR: Lindsey
CATEGORY: Cast Parody
SPOILERS: Season 10 Finale, 'Drive'
ARCHIVE: Email me and ask permission, please
DISCLAIMER: Don't own characters, yada, yada....
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm really disappointed on how the finale went, so I made it a parody lol... enjoy!

Pratt: Hey, Jing-Mei, let's get it on- I mean... what happened to your face????

Jing-Mei:  Oh you know... my psycho bed-ridden father bitch-slapped me when I tried to clean him up.... and THEN I ran into the door.....

Pratt:  OOooooohhhhh.... well, good luck with... uh, whatever you said... I'm too self-involved to notice anyone's problems but mine.....  I'd like to know YOUR problems iffya know what I mean, G...

Jing-Mei: Let's go out to dinner!  Drive REAAALLY fast in your car.... oh! and let's try to get shot at!!!  HOW EXCITING!!!!

<Suddenly Abby comes zooming down the hall, running all over the ER>


Carter: Congratulations, Abby!!  I KNEW you could do it!  <Carter passionately kisses her, then walks away>

Abby: What was that?!  Hey, come back!  I'm in love with you now!!

<Carter returns with a flower>

Abby: oh, Carter, you shouldn't have......

Carter <picking petals off the flower>:  Kem loves me... Kem loves me not... Kem loves me... Kem loves me not... Kem loves me.... Kem loves me...not....  Oh well!  I'll still ask her to marry me and be DEEPLY, TRULY, MADLY in looooove for the rest of my life with someone I knocked up in the boondocks of Africa.....  <Just then, he drops the candy bar he'd been eating>  NOOOOOO!!!!!  Oh, the horror!!  Oh well, 5 second rule....

<Abby appears again, and hands him a can of SlimFast>

Abby: Here ya go!  You need this more than the candy bar!!  Everyone thinks you're chubby....  And I can't love you if you're chubby.....  But I'm Independent Abby now, so screw you!  Muahahahaha!  <skips off down the hall>

<Luka crashes through the doors of the ER>: Help, help!  I decided to do a good deed... but with my Angel of Death personality it turned out bad.... waaaaahahahahaaaaa......

<Elizabeth swoops in>: Dr. Corday to the rescue!!  THIS WOMAN NEEDS SURGERY!  Well actually... yep!  I'm right!  She needs surgery because that's the only thing I'm good for around here!  I'm nothing without Mark....  <crawls into a ball in the corner>  Oh wait... I can't show my emotions.... I forgot!!  <suddenly a row of handsome men appear before her eyes>  oooooooo!!!!!!!!!  Hellooo!!!!!  <Elizabeth passionately kisses each one, going from one to the other>  Hmmm........ I can't decide which one I want.....  oh well, I'll date you all!!!!!  <suddenly Rachel appears out of a cloud of smoke>  Rachellll!!!!  Oh god, not you again!!!!!!

Rachel: Hi, Mom!!!  I need a pregnancy test and some pilllzzzz yo!

<Suddenly Rachel disappears in a POOF of smoke>

Elizabeth <shrugs>: Oh well.... 

<Suddenly, a deranged patient comes in and shoots all around the ER... and voila! out of the gun smoke comes.... the ER producers!!!!> 

Producer <talking to a herd of cattle and aliens>: Okay, we don't have enough people on ER, and we've used up all the actors in Hollywood, soooooooo..... we'll be bringing in bunchies of new fresh faces!!!  Because it is my job to make sure EVERYONE in Hollywood is on ER AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!  MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

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