AUTHOR: John Ross
CATEGORY: JC/CH Friendship
SPOILERS: Follows “GREAT EXPECTATIONS”
ARCHIVE: Just let me know
DISCLAIMER: You know the drill. I own nothing.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I live for feed back.
SUMMARY: This was my very first fanfic ever
Kerry was checking Carol’s progress. “You’re at 10 centimeters.”
“Fully effaced. Haleh open an OB pack. Kerry shouted
“I don’t want to deliver down here!” Carol shouted trying to sit up.
“I don’t want to deliver in the ER!” She continued to protest.
“Well do you want to deliver in the elevator?” Kerry asked.
“How can I be at 10 centimeters.” Carol questioned
“Probably been contracting all day.” Kerry explained.
“ Call pedes, Let's rotate the gurney, and give her some privacy.” Kerry called out the orders.
“Oh no!” NO no! I’ll just hold it. OK. I promise I won’t push. I won’t push.
“ I’ll make you a deal.” Kerry promised trying to calm her. “We’ll deliver this one down here and you can have the next one up stairs.”
“O.K. I’m going to need that fetal monitor.” John calmly exclaimed.
“We could do the second one on the ultra sound.”
“Get out of here, Carter!”
“Its OK. Don’t worry about a thing.” Ignoring her request. “Give me some sterile gloves.”
“Carter, Get out of here.” Looking at Kerry for help.
“John I’ve got it. Why don’t you go see if Dr. Kovac needs your help.” Kerry offered.
“I’ve delivered babies before.” He protested, throwing his arms in the air.
“Not this one.” Carol shouted at him.
“Dr. Weaver?” John turned to Kerry for approval
“She knows you. She doesn’t feel comfortable.”
“She just paged Dr. Green.” He stammered with a jealous tone.
“Yeah, but he’s not delivering, now get out! Kerry shouted at him pushing him aside.
“All right. OK. Good luck.” He said, giving in to Carol’s wishes as he removed his gloves and gown and left the room.
Carter entered the trauma room next door and asked Luka if he needed help.
“Yes, please I was just about to intubate.”
“Is she having the babies in there?” Luka asked looking up into the next room.
“At least one of them.” Carter answered.
Both men found themselves trying very hard to concentrate, both concerned for Carol.
Their patient had died. She never had a chance really, but they still could not shake that feeling of remorse. The feeling of hopelessness.
John stood outside Carol’s room, watching for a minute. Why had she made him leave? He had really wanted to be there to help her, to support her like she had done for him so many times. He could just imagine what this must be like for her with out Doug here.
He could hear inside.
“Have you picked out a name yet?” Kerry asked.
“Tess. I think I’m going to name her Tess. Carol said.
“Welcome to the world, Tess. Cleo said as she kissed the new born baby girl.
“You did great!” Kerry smiled.
John ran outside into the ambulance bay and found himself leaning against the wall with tears uncontrollably streaming down his cheeks. Quiet sobs that seemed to come from deep down inside. He wasn’t quite sure why he was feeling the way he was. Thing in his life were so messed up right now and this was just another reminder that he was alone.
At the end of John’s shift he decided he should go up and see Carol before he headed home.
He quietly knocked on her door and slowly peeked in. “Carol, can I come in.” He spoke softly as he entered slowly looking down at the floor with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels.
“Sit down, Carter.” Carol gestured toward the chair next to the bed.
John sat quietly and stared at her for the longest time, seemingly lost in thought.
“Earth to John.” Carol spoke waving her hand in front of his face. “I don’t think you came up here just to stare at me.”
“Oh. I…I’m sorry.” He stammered, shaking his head in an effort to clear his mind. “Carol, I know that this is going to sound crazy but do you think that men have a “quote” biological clock. I mean… I was thinking today about you and the babies and the idea of having a family and I found myself wondering if I was ever going to… he sighed deeply, chewing on his bottom lip, trying once more to hold back the tears.
John suddenly stood up and turned away from Carol and walked into the bathroom in her room. He let the water run as he stood there looking into the mirror for a minute then proceeded to wash his tear stained face and blow his nose. Pulling himself together he stepped out into the room just as two nurses came into the room with Tess and Kate.
“John, would you like to meet my daughters.” Carol said as she saw the smile broaden across John’s face. “Tess, Kate this is John Carter. John this is Tess and this is Kate.” She gestured her introduction.
“May I.” John asked as he reached out to pick up Kate as one of the nurses handed Tess to Carol.
“You know, Carter, you are going to make a great dad.” Carol smiled.
Tess began to get fussy. As the O.B. nurse moved toward Carol to help her get started with nursing. She turned to John. “Sir, I think you should leave now.”
“No, it’s OK.” Carol exclaimed. “He can stay, Abby this is Dr. Carter.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Abby answered, as she continued to help Carol with Tess.
John just sat in the chair holding Kate and whispered to her. “You are so beautiful, yes you are, just like your mom.” Rocking her gently. He was so absorbed in looking after Kate that he hardly noticed Abby speaking to him.
“Time for Kate’s dinner, Dr. Carter. Would you like to trade?” Abby said, looking down at Carter with Tess in her arms.
“Sure.” John stood up and handed Kate to Carol and took Tess from Abby and sat with her holding her against his chest patting her gently as she fell asleep in his arms. Humming a soft tune, John could not remember when he last felt so content.