A Knight to Remember
CATEGORY: RR angst
RATING: PG-13 (use of alcohol, sexual innuendo, and some language)
SPOILERS: Season 6 for "Be Still My Heart" and "All in the Family"
DISCLAIMER: The ER characters are not mine, they are the property of Warner
Bros., Michael Chrichton, etc.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story has not been edited nor spell checked prior to the
writing. The reason is to create the ambiance of the individual's mind.
Although the story is in third person, the point is to show that the
individual's mind is not clear.
SUMMARY: Lucy Knight's death has a surprising impact on Chief of Staff, Robert 'Rocket' Romano.
Romano lifted the glass to his lips again. He just wanted to block out the
pain. The pain of having the one person he cared about, the one person he
truly wanted to be nice to, vanished from the earth by his hands. Though his
thoughts were blurred, he could still clearly make out the images on her
beautiful young face. The final expressions he saw before losing her forever.
He hadn't gone back to the hospital in weeks. He called in sick, and asked
Anspaugh to temporarily regain his position as chief-of-staff. He claimed he
was under the weather from his kidney stones several months ago. He claimed
that he needed time to adjust to the tragedy. He lied as usual. The truth was
that he couldn't think of anything except Lucy Knight. She was the one person
who went to him, the one person who asked for his help rather than pushing him
away. He loved her. He loved her so much.
Romano's thoughts returned to Christmas Eve. When she first phoned him about
a patient. She wanted to do something for this girl so badly. He turned her
away. He always pushed everyone away... but then she showed up. At his home,
while he was sitting in his robe, alone in his house. He had always been
alone. But she came. She begged for his help. She looked into his eyes.
That's when his heart melted. Instead of complaining about him like the rest
of the staff, she went to him and faced him. No one ever faced him. No one
ever asked for his help. Except her. She asked on behalf of this young woman.
And he let her into his heart. It was the first time he ever let anyone in.
She would've been a great doctor. Would've... the word struck him. She was
really gone. He took another long drink to stop the tears. Tears he never
shed. He remembered the look on her face when the girl died. Lucy felt so
horrible that she was alive and the girl was dead. And now she's dead too. He
remembered the day too clearly. Shit. He hated that man. He wanted him on
the table to rip out every one of his organs and scream "this is how it really
feels. you killed the person who didn't want to do this to you. now you can
die too you piece of shit". That was another kaleidoscope of colors in his
The second he found out it happened, he went for Lucy. Carter, he didn't care
about, but Lucy he had fallen in love with, ven though he was almost forty and
she was only in medical school. He could've taught her how to be a great
surgeon. She would've melted his stone heart. Then maybe he could've been a
good doctor too. He never cared for people. The only thing he loved before
Lucy was his dog. Well, he saved Gretl, but he couldn't save her. Couldn't.
Even when he knew it was almost over, he had to keep trying. He looked at
Lizzie's face. And looked at Lucy's. So distraught. So pathetic. So
His dismissed Elizabeth to have his last moments with her. As he stitched her
up, he intently focused on her face. That precious face of youth. How he had
wanted to hold her. Kerry walked in. Damn it, it had been a private moment
between them. He dismissed her too. He wanted her to go away. He used his
attitude to cover up the pain. But she covered up Lucy and the proceeded to
leave. Hell, she didn't care about Lucy like he did. Romano remember it. He
lifted to sheet back over her, and kissed her forehead. That tender little
forehead. It was cold. In his fantasies she was so steaming hot, so beautiful,
so fiery and passionate. Now she was cold. And his heart returned to ice.
He sat alone at the memorial. All in black. He wore dark glasses; skipped out
on the liquor for that morning, but resumed his state afterwards. They were
all there, the people from the hospital, and Barbara Knight too. What a
horrible way to die, they all thought. But it was sad for them because she was
so young. It was sad for him because of the person who was gone.
Her image danced in front of his eyes. Taunting him with her pale vacant
stare. He wanted to love her, but he'd lost her. Maybe it wasn't meant for
him to love. Maybe it was meant for him to be alone. But he would always
remember. Always remember her. He had given her a locker in the surgical
locker room. One no one knew about, though he made her think it was routine.
After it was over, and she was gone. He went to that locker, and found a
picture. Of her, inside a pack of photos she had just gotten developed. She
looked so pretty and young and happy. And alive.
Romano lifted the drink to his lips again and consumed the remainder of it.
Eventually he would have to return to word, return to the place where the
carnage had happened. As his eyes closed, next to him was the picture. Locked
in place on the mantel and framed in black. On the back, where no one had
seen, and no one would see, he inscribed: "Lucy Knight -- the only Knight to
All comments welcome.
Sequel: Music of the Knight