Ladies Night

AUTHOR: Carolina
CATEGORY: Cast/Humor
RATING: R for language
SPOILERS: Season 7
ARCHIVE: Sure, just let me know where.
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wrote this little piece tonight and I hope you all like it. It takes place around 4 months from Mars Attacks.
SUMMARY: The girls of the ER spend a wild night together

Elizabeth walked down the stairs to the ER, feeling the most tired she had felt in a long time. Romano had take it into his bald shinny head to have Elizabeth supervise every single surgeon for at least five minutes while they worked. And to make matters worse, the moving process had been so excruciating, that at the end she just decided to throw everything away and just buy new things. Mark was driving her crazy as well, his latest caprice to buy a billiard table for one of the rooms. The room she had planned to make a beautiful guest room.

Needless to say, she wasn't in a very good mood today, and now they had called on yet another consult from the ER. She pushed the door to the trauma two open and walked in miserably. "What have you got?" she asked Dave, who seemed to call the OR every five minutes for a consult.

"Five year old complains of cramps and pain on the left side of her abdomen, I think it might be appendicitis," Dave said with his hands on his hips.

Elizabeth walked over and pushed the girl's stomach, "Does it hurt when I do that, sweetie?" she said, trying to sound compassionate outside, even thought inside she couldn't give a damn, not today.

"Yeah," the girl said.

"How about here?" she pressed the other side of the abdomen.

"Yeah," the girl said.

Elizabeth looked at Dave, "Where's the mother?" she asked.

"They just called her, Ally here came straight from school," Dave said.

"Have you run any tests yet, Dr. Malucci?" Elizabeth asked, loathing the obvious answer.

"Well, the symptoms are indicative of an appendix," he said.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "Outside, now," she said and walked out of the room.

Dave followed, knowing what was about to happen. "Look, before you start," he said once they were outside but Elizabeth interrupted him.

"Dr. Malucci, you call me down here for a surgical case that doesn't exist. You want me to do a consult on a girl who is obviously faking it to get out of school and on top of that, you don't even run any tests?" she said firmly. "The OR is not a laboratory, you call us when you have a case, not a 5 year old girl with imaginary cramps," she finished bluntly and walked towards the front desk.

After she was gone, Dave took a mop from a corner and began to move it around, making a wailing sound like Elizabeth.


"Mr. Mitchell, if you don't go back to those chairs and wait for us to call you, I'm gonna make sure you'll be the next patient when I jam this pen up your prostate," Kerry said firmly as she looked intensely into a patients eyes.

The man backed down. "They never treated me like this in Wisconsin," he said as he walked away.

"Well, you can go back to the cheese mill approach to medicine and leave us alone," Kerry said.

Elizabeth approached her carefully. "Having a bad day, I see," she said.

Kerry let out a sigh. "Why did I ever take this job?" she said in desperation.

"Because there's nothing better than the feeling of putting on a Foley on a man while he screams on a table," Elizabeth said slyly.

Kerry looked at her and smiled. "It's been a long time since I felt satisfied with that," she said.

"I still do," Elizabeth said. "I just imagine that the man is Romano, and well, after that it's just heaven," she finished as they both looked over some charts at the front desk.

Kerry looked up and smiled again. This was exactly the reason why she didn't quit her job, camaraderie. Well, camaraderie with the girls, the men always made her want to scream and pull her hair out. "So, how's the house coming along?" she asked, trying to think of something else to ease her mind.

Elizabeth looked over. "Not too bad, we already have all the essentials in, just waiting for a couple of details to have everything ready," she said.

"Are you living in it already?" Kerry asked.

"Yeah, for a week now," Elizabeth said. "Takes a little time to get used to, but it's gorgeous," she said.

"You'll have to have us over sometime so we can see it," Kerry said.

"That would be lovely," Elizabeth said, truly loving the idea. She let out a sigh and looked around, "Well, I'm going to go get some coffee and go back up before Romano shrinks some more," she said with a smile.

"You mean his body or his hair count?" Kerry smirked and saw her walk into the lounge.


"I'm just asking why he has to call you nearly every night," Luka sad, a little mad, as he looked down at Abby.

Abby rolled her eyes and looked at him. "Luka, I already told you many times why he has to call me. You knew about this before this relationship started, so I'm not gonna go over it one more time," Abby said as she opened her locker, Luka still looking down at her. "You know, this would be just so much easier if you would just accept that you're jealous," she suddenly snapped.

"I am not jealous," Luka responded suddenly.

"Yes you are," Abby said. "Why else would you have a problem with it. I bet if it was a woman you..."

She was interrupted by Elizabeth cleaning her throat.

"Oh, hi Dr. Corday," Abby said merrily.

"Hello Elizabeth," Luka said with a smile on his face.

"You guys are not having a fight, are you?" Elizabeth asked as she poured herself some coffee.

"Of course not. I mean, there's nothing to be mad about," Luka said suggestively as he walked out of the room, leaving the two ladies alone.

Abby saw him leave and then just rolled her eyes, still trying to find her cigarettes on her locker, mumbling something to herself.

"I'm sorry?" Elizabeth asked.

Abby looked back at her. "Oh, sorry, just something we do. Even when one of us leaves the room we keep fighting with ourselves, that way when we see each other again we'd had vented," Abby said.

"Does it work?" Elizabeth asked.

Abby smiled, "Yeah, you'd be surprised."

"Huh," Elizabeth said casually. "I'll have to try that with Mark," she said.

Abby smiled, but it soon faded when she opened her cigarettes and found the box was empty. "Damnit!" she said and threw the box to the other side of the room.

"Are you ok?" Elizabeth asked.

"Just a little stressed out," Abby said with her hands on her hips. "Luka is not making things easy either," she finished and sat on the couch.

Elizabeth came over and gave her a cup of coffee. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at matters of the heart, but I certainly know how you feel. You see, just the other day Mark nearly killed a man when he bought me a cup of coffee on the cart," she said and sat next to Abby on the couch.

"I know! I mean, I agreed to be Carter's sponsor because he really needs someone who knows what he went through. Luka was ok with it at first, but a couple of calls later and now he can't even see Carter around without having his possessive macho alarm blaring off. They're like one of those dinosaurs who opened their necks when they were about to fight," Abby said in desperation.

"Oh, um, the smart ones on Jurassic Park," Elizabeth said.

"Right," Abby said with a laugh.

Elizabeth took a sip of her coffee, "Well, he'll get used to it."

"Yeah, I hope so, cause other that that, everything's great," Abby said.

"It seems like we're all having a bad day today," Elizabeth notices.

"We?" Abby asked, curious.

"All the gals. Kerry is not doing so well either, and I heard Cleo and Peter are having a lot of problems," Elizabeth said.

"What kinds of problems?" Abby asked, folding her legs under her, ready to hear the gossip.

"Ok," Elizabeth put her cup on the table and turned to Abby, excited about her newfound gossip. "I heard them talking on the hallway the other day. Cleo was complaining to Peter about him not giving her much attention, and Peter said that he had a son that needed most of his time, and Cleo said something about her needing validation as a woman, and Peter said something about his sister being right about Cleo and he walked away from her," she finished. Elizabeth was never one for gossip, but when it came to Peter and Cleo, she was a radio telescope.

"Wow," Abby said in amazement. "He really can't stand her, can he?"

"That obvious?" Elizabeth asked.

"You know, I really kinda feel bad for her, I mean, she really has no clue he doesn't give her the time of day," Abby said sympathetically.

"Maybe she needs her oil changed," Elizabeth said smartly and they both began to laugh hysterically.

Jung Mei pushed the door open, looking miserable and exhausted. She looked over at Abby and Elizabeth and smiled politely.

"Geez, you look tired," Elizabeth noticed.

Jing Mei made herself a cup of coffee and sat on the chair in front of them. "I am. My baby has been keeping me up until 3 am for four days now, I can't even remember when was the last time I brushed my teeth," she said as she took a sip of coffee and looked at the two women. "Don't worry, I'm not lactating," she said.

"Oh," Abby said. "Maybe you should try getting some help at home," she said.

"My mom is gonna take care of him tonight, I was gonna go catch a movie or something," she said.

"Have you guys seen Carter? He has a patient waiting for him in exam two," Kerry said as she walked in.

"Last time I saw him he was in the ambulance bay," Abby said, looking at her nails.

Elizabeth's eyes widened. "Do you know what we all need tonight? Kerry, come here?" she motioned for the woman to walk in.

"What?" Kerry asked curious.

"We're all off tonight, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," they all said in unison.

"We need, an all ladies, no men, wild, wild, night!" Elizabeth said, excited.

Abby looked at her. "Sorry, I can't drink," she said.

"No, no, no," Elizabeth said. "Kerry, I thought of this when you said something about coming over to my new house. We can have a pajama party. You can come over, we'll spend the night, eat every kind of junk food until we explode, watch chick flicks, and finally pass out on the floor," she said, excited.

A smile appeared on everyone's face. "My mom is gonna be taking care of Frank Jr.," Jing Mei said.

"And Luka can survive a night without me," Abby said.

"And it's been ages since I had a calorie fest," Kerry said.

"I can send Mark to sleep with a friend or something and you can all come over. What do you say?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm in," Abby said with a big smile.

"Me too," Jing Mei said.

"Should I bring something?" Kerry said.

"Great!" Elizabeth said. This was such a good idea, and it would help each one of them forget about their problems for at least one night.

Cleo walked into the room, still thinking about what Peter meant when he said Jackie was right about her. He noticed the girls around the couch and smiled politely, then turned to get a cup of coffee.

Abby turned to Elizabeth and mouthed, "Should we invite her?"

Elizabeth looked at Jing Mei and Kerry, who both gave her a 'why not?' look. She never really got along with Cleo. Ok, she couldn't stand her. But maybe this would be a good way to get her to know better. Maybe she wasn't so bad after removing some of the circuits. "Uh, Cleo?" she began hesitantly.

Cleo turned around, "Yes?"

"We are having a small get together at my new house tonight, a pajama party, if you will. Would you like to come? It's just us girls," Elizabeth said.

Cleo smiled. "Sure, I'd love to," she said and walked out of the room.

Jing Mei looked as she left. "What was that?" she asked clueless.

"I think she just smiled," Abby said.

"Anyway," Kerry said. "Elizabeth, do you want us to bring something?" she asked.

"Well, you can all bring what you think is necessary for survival, like ice cream, chips, cookies, dip, muffins, you know. And don't forget your sleeping bags," she said as she stood up. "I'm going up now. Can you all be there by 7?" she asked.

"Sure," they all said.

"Ok, this is going to be so exciting," she squealed and walked out of the lounge.


"Mom?" Jing Mei said as she held the phone to her ear. "I need you to take care of Frank Jr. until tomorrow, I'm going to treat myself tonight...What's that?... I'm going to try and get pregnant again, this time to a Cuban... Yes, I was joking... Well, Frank is working tonight, I already called the ICU... ok... ok... I'll pick him up tomorrow morning... Thanks mom... yea... bye," she finished and hung up the phone of the hallway, where Luka was trying to catch up to Abby, who walked into the supply room.

She hadn't seen him yet, so he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

"Dave, we can't do that in here, I just saw Luka walking around outside," she joked.

"Ha ha," Luka said sarcastically. "I'm sorry about earlier and I'll make it up to you. How about I make a romantic dinner for two, and then after that we can do that thing you like where I'm a hot fireman and I carry you out of a burning building in my strong arms," he said seductively.

Abby turned around and kissed him. "Sorry, I have plans for tonight," she said.

"With whom?" he asked casually.

"We're having an all girls night at Dr. Corday's" she said as she looked for some Compazine.

"Can I come?" Luka asked.

"Sure, if you want a make over," Abby said.

Luka thought about it for a moment and then made a face. "I think I'll pass," he said.

Abby's light bulb lit up. "Hey, why don't you take Dr. Greene with you, he can't be there and since you'll be available. You can go out for beers or something and he can stay on your guest room."

"You think he'd want to?" Luka asked hesitantly.

"Why not?" Abby asked.

Luka smiled devilishly. "Ok, but that means you'll be owing me something. Let's see, what can you possibly do to pay me back," he said jokingly.

"The saucy French maid costume is at the cleaners," Abby said and walked out of the room.

"Damn," Luka muttered and followed her out.


"So what is it? Like you girls in your underwear having a pillow fight all night?" Dave asked Jing Mei, who was looking at an x-ray.

"That's not what a girls night is, Dave," she said annoyed.

"But, you guys *will* be in your underwear, right?" he asked.

Jing Mei took the x-ray off the board. "No, and even if we were, you're not invited."

"Really? Because I'm feeling at one with my feminine side tonight," he said as he followed her down the hall.

"Dave? Your patient is throwing up, go clean it up," Kerry said as she appeared out of nowhere.

"That's maintenance job," Dave said.

"Not when I order *you* to do it," Kerry said.

"Come on, Chief," he pleaded.

"Now, get out of here," she said and hushed him away.

"Thanks," Jing Mei said.

"No problem. Do you still need a ride? Because I'm going home now, I can drop you off and pick you up," Kerry said.

"Sure, that would be great, thanks," she said and they both walked into the lounge.


Luka spotted Mark in front of the board and walked up to him. "So, girls night, huh?" he asked Mark.

Mark turned around, "I know, Elizabeth just gave me the ultimatum," he said, erasing some names off the board.

"So did Abby," Luka said. "Do you have a place to stay? I have an extra room."

Mark turned to him, "Really? Ok, well, if you don't mind," he said. Normally staying at another man's house was something he wouldn't even consider twice. But tonight, it was either that, or sleeping under a bridge with a bunch of men.

"Why not? I just bought a Play Station and we can buy some beer," Luka said.

"A Play Station, wow. I've been wanting one for a long time only Elizabeth says it kills the brain cells," Mark said.

"Abby wasn't very fond of it either. But I invented this game in which we play against each other, and whomever loses has to... well, let's just say that she loves it now," Luka said with a laugh.

Mark nodded, impressed. "I have much to learn," he said.


"Mark!" Elizabeth yelled as she got everything ready for the small get together. "It's 6:50, you should be getting out of here!" he yelled from downstairs.

"Luka's not here yet, he's picking me up," he said and walked back into the bedroom. 'This is so ridiculous,' he thought. Thrown out of his own house for a sleepover. He would have objected to the idea, but since the last few days had been so stressful for Elizabeth, he thought maybe she should treat herself for a night.

The doorbell rang and Elizabeth ran to get it, squealing in excitement. "Kerry, Jing Mei, welcome to my new home," she said as she let the two women in.

"Wow, I love it," Jing Mei said as she looked around.

"Very nice," Kerry said. They were both carrying some groceries and their sleeping bags.

"Thank you, you can put those on the kitchen, it's over there," Elizabeth said pointedly.

"Are we the first ones?" Kerry asked.

"Yeah," Elizabeth said. "But it's not 7 o'clock yet."

Luka parked his car outside Elizabeth's house and turned to Abby, "You know, I still have that policeman uniform, and you still have time to make up your mind," he said.

Abby just opened her door and walked out and into Elizabeth's porch. She ran the doorbell and a couple of seconds later, Elizabeth opened the door.

"Hi Abby, Luka," Elizabeth said.

"Hi Dr. Corday," Abby said.

"Abby, I think you can start calling me Elizabeth now," she said as they let them in. "Mark! Your ride is here!" she yelled.

"I'll be right there," Mark called from upstairs.

"Oh, this is a lovely house," Abby said as she looked around.

"Very nice," Luka said, trying to figure out how Mark could afford something like this with their salaries.

"Hey," Abby dug into her back and took a tape out. "Look what I got."

"Legends of the Fall!" Jing Mei said excited.

"No girls night is complete without Brad Pitt," Abby said.

Luka rolled his eyes, he had heard enough about Brad Pitt in the last few months. "Oh, good," he said as he saw Mark walk down the stairs with a back pack over his shoulders.

"Alright, you can have the house to yourselves now, and no looking in my underwear drawer," he warned the girls.

"Sorry Mark, anything goes tonight," Kerry said.

"Alright, get out of here," Elizabeth said and kissed Mark.

Luka went over and kissed Abby good bye too and gave her the sleeping bag.

Mark turned to him, "Come on Luka! Let's go paint our nails and do our hair like those Spice Girls," Mark said sarcastically in a feminine voice.

"Oh! And after that we can watch another Ben Affleck movie and listen to Brittany Spears," he followed Mark's lead. They both giggled like women and ran out of the house in their tip toes.

"That's exactly why we don't let them stay," Jing Mei said.

"So, what are we doing first?" Elizabeth said, excited.

"Where's Cleo?" Abby asked.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. We can all change until she comes," Elizabeth said. "There's a bathroom down here and another one upstairs, the rest are rooms, you can change where ever you want."

A couple of minutes later, they all came back with their pajamas. Jing Mei was wearing a blue long sleeved to hide the residues of her pregnancy. Abby was wearing long pajama pants with pictures of bananas and a yellow and white tank top that said "Peel me off". Kerry was wearing the same thing Jing Mei was, but hers was covered with pictures of poodles. And Elizabeth was wearing another tank top with shorts. The living room was covered with pillows, blankets, and covers and there were bowls of pop corn, chips, and dip.

"Should we watch the movie first?" Elizabeth said. At that moment, the doorbell rang and she went over to open it for Cleo.

"Sorry I'm late, Peter's car ran out of gas," she said in time to hear Peter's car drive away. "Anyway, to make it up," she took her coat off to reveal her small sleeping boxers and a tee.

Elizabeth smiled, "Ok, we were about to watch a Brad Pitt movie," she said and walked with Cleo to the living room, where Abby was on the couch, Jing Mei on the floor, and Kerry in a love seat, all looking at the television.

"Pig out," Elizabeth said as she sat on the couch next to Abby.

"Wow, you guys certainly have everything, I'm on a diet thought, and this time I'm trying to commit," she said and sat next to Jing Mei on the floor.

"Not tonight, you aren't. We're all eating until we clog the toilets," Kerry said.

Everyone laughed, enjoying Kerry's out of work personality. Cleo just took a chip and ate it slowly, everyone rolled their eyes.

Half way to the movie, everyone was crying, and still eating. Elizabeth, with Abby crying on her shoulder, took the remote and turned it off. "That's it, I don't think we should cry tonight," she said.

Everyone sniffed and wiped their tears. "You're right," Jing Mei said. "I have enough with post pardum depression," she said.

"Ok, so what do we do now?" Abby asked.

"How about a round of good ol' Truth or Dare," Kerry said.

"Ooh! Who'll go first?" Elizabeth asked.

"I will," Jing Mei said and shifted herself on the floor so she was facing everyone. "Ok," she looked around the room. "Abby? Truth or Dare?" she asked.

Abby knew she was going to be the first one, she was like a magnet for truth or dares. "Hmm, truth," she finally said.

"Ok," Jing Mei said. "I think I ask this for every single woman in the ER: How big is Luka's, penis?" she asked and immediately everyone began to laugh.

Abby turned red, "I can't answer that, it's his personal life."

"Oh come on, you have to answer, those are the rules," Kerry said.

"Ok," Abby looked around. "It is the... Eiffel Tower of penises!," she screamed as if she was seeing it.

"AAHHH!" Everyone screamed and they all covered their faces with the pillows and began to laugh.

"I knew it!" Elizabeth said.

"Ok, ok, ok," Abby said. "Elizabeth? truth or dare?"

"Truth," Elizabeth said.

"If you could have any two men from the ER in your bed, who would it be and why?" she asked.

Elizabeth thought for a while, "Well, given the newly acquired information, I wouldn't mind having Luka in my bed," she said slyly.

Abby laughed, "Who else?"

"Hmm, the other man would probably be Peter," she said.

"Why?" Cleo asked, weary.

"Oh, well, you know that thing he does with his tongue?" Elizabeth said.

"What thing?" Cleo asked.

"You know, that thing where he lifts you up, and," she looked at Cleo's face. "Oh well, maybe he stopped doing it." She looked around, "Anyway, Cleo, truth or dare," she said, trying to get Cleo out of her evident paranoia.

"Dare," Cleo just said.

"Ooh!" Everyone moaned.

Elizabeth tried to think hard, this had to be good, really good. She had Cleo on the palm of her finger and she had to enjoy every second of it. She finally smiled devilishly. "Ok, our sweet neighbor, Mr. Murphy, is an old and innocent man. Rachel's Brownies uniform is still upstairs. Your dare, is to go over and sell him some cookies, wearing just the badge and the hat," she finished.

"OOOHH!!" Kerry, Abby, and Jing Mei yelled.

Cleo looked at Elizabeth daringly. "Fair enough, good thing I waxed my bikini area yesterday," she said and stood up.


"Wow, I've never seen a man choke on orange juice before," Abby said as they closed they door.

"Well, the paramedics said he'd be out by tomorrow," Elizabeth said defensively.

"Well, at least we made some profit," Cleo said as she put five dollars into the table and covered her naked body with a blanket. "But it was really cold, so I don't think he was talking about cookies when he said 'chocolate chips'" Cleo said as they all laughed.

"Ok, so, where were we?" Elizabeth said as they all went back to their positions.

"It was my turn. Kerry, truth or dare?" Cleo asked.

"Well, considering how dangerous that dare was, I'm gonna have to go with truth," she said.

Cleo smiled and tugged her legs against her chest, "What's it like being with a woman?" she asked.

Everyone directed their attention to Kerry.

"I saw that coming," Kerry started. "Well, you know all those things you really want a man to do while you're having sex but he won't do them because all they want is to go straight to the shooting range?" she asked.

"Yeah," they all said in unison, in a depressed tone.

"Well, being with a woman is like all those sweet things a man whon't do. Plus it's softer, and, you both know what you want, and... well, you get the idea," she finished.

"Wow," Abby said.

"Confession:" Elizabeth said. "I always wanted to know what it felt like being with a woman," she said.

"I think every woman does, some just act upon it," Kerry said matter- of-factly.

"What was that?" Jing Mei said.

Abby looked around. "What was what?"

"I heard it too, it's like a click," Elizabeth said. "Hey!" she said as she looked at the window. She ran out of the house and came back in with Dave by the ear, there as a camera hanging from his neck.

"Dave! You pervert," Abby protested.

"What? I was just making sure you girls were ok," he said.

"With a camera?" Kerry walked over and took the camera, opened the film and destroyed it.

"Hey! that was gonna keep me busy for a few nights," he said, Elizabeth still pulling his ear.

"So, what do you think we should do with him, girls?" she asked devilishly.

Dave looked at all the girls, with their hands on their hips, "Oh fuck."


Mark and Luka sat on the floor, sitting in front of his couch and playing Play Station. "This is so much better than any girly night," Mark said.

"I know. What do they do there anyway?" Luka asked.

"Just do their hair and talk about men," Mark said.

"Do you think they're talking about us?" Luka asked weary.

"Of course they are," Mark said.

"Nah, Abby wouldn't do that," Luka said.

"Like hell she wouldn't! By now she should have told everyone about what you like in bed, your fantasies, sexual stamina, your package..."

"My package?" Luka asked, dropping the control and looking at Mark.

"Yeah, and I bet it was Elizabeth who asked her," he said, paranoid.

Luka looked worried, and looked back at the tv. "What do you think they're doing now?"

"Probably painting their toe nails," Mark said.


Dave sat on a chair, tied, in the middle of the living room. He was dressed in a pink dress and was wearing high heels. The girls were all around him, putting make up on him and doing his hair. "You know, this can go down as assault," Dave said. It was useless trying to fight, so he just gave in.

"How about breaking and entering with a camera," Abby said as she did Dave's eyes.

Jing Mei walked up to him. "Because I'm not so bad I'm gonna let you choose the lipstick, red or brown?"

Dave looked at her. "Duh, I'm wearing a pink dress," he said.

"Ok, red it is," Jing Mei said and began to apply the lipstick.

"This would be so much amusing if he hadn't fit on my dress," Elizabeth said.

"Well, it's an old dress," Kerry said. "You're so much skinny now."

"Can I get my clothes now and go?" Dave asked.

"I don't think he's suffered enough, has he girls?" Abby asked.

"Nope, in fact," Elizabeth ran to the kitchen and came back. "I think everyone else in the ER should see this," she said as she showed everyone a camera.

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Dave said and tried to run away, but was still tied to the chair.

"I'll go first," Abby said. She sat on Dave's lap and kissed him on the cheek as Elizabeth took a picture.

"You're all crazy! Help! Help! Mark!" Dave yelled.

"Mark's not here," Cleo said as she posed in front of Dave.

"You're not gonna get away with this," Dave said.

"What are you gonna do, tell on us?" Kerry said as she posed as well.

"I'm gonna talk to Romano about it," he said.

Elizabeth giggled, "Ok, I think he's had enough," she said.

"Thank you," Dave said, "Can I have my clothes now?"

"No, Dave, I think that for you to learn your lesson, you're gonna have to go home like that," Abby said devilishly.

Jing Mei opened the door, "I see you came on your bike, how convenient," she said and they laughed.

They finally untied Dave, but his clothes remained hidden. He looked himself in the mirror. "Oh, who did my eyes?" he asked.

"Me," Abby said.

"You're supposed to do it parallel to the eyebrows, and blow before you apply," he said in desperation.

"Sorry," Abby said.

"Ok, Dave, goodnight," Kerry said as she pushed him out the door, and they all began to laugh.

"I kinda feel bad for him," Abby said in a sad tone. "I mean, all his friends are gonna see him ride home in a dress, in high heels and make up, I think we went too far."

"Really?" Jing Mei asked.

Abby laughed, "No, little asshole deserved it."

They moved to the living room again. "So what do you guys wanna do now?" Elizabeth said as she came into the room with three tubs of ice cream.

"I don't know," Cleo said. "I keep thinking about Peter, I think he's gonna break up with me," she said sadly.

"Aww," they all said in unison.

"I know, he's always in a bad mood when I'm around," Cleo said.

"No," Elizabeth said, trying to be supportive. "He's always like that."

"Yeah, you're a great person!" Jing Mei said.

"Then why is he always like that?" Cleo asked.

"Because, men are pigs. I mean, why is Mark always expecting me to do all the work around the house," Elizabeth said.

"At least you have someone, all I have is a baby who keeps me up until 4 am," Jing Mei began to cry.

"Oh come on, you guys," Kerry said, feeling their pain.

"Yeah, you're gonna make me cry too," Abby said.

5 Minutes Later...

"I mean, all I ask every now and then is a nice gesture, an 'I Love You' or breakfast in bed," Abby said as Elizabeth did her hair.

"Oh no, kitchen wear? They can destroy a house and build it again, but heaven forbid if they find themselves lost in the kitchen," Elizabeth said, putting Abby's hair into two pig tails.

"And what is the deal with clipping their toe nails in bed?" Cleo asked as she ate a big wooden spoon of ice cream.

"Now you guys know why I've never been married," Kerry said as she painted her nails.

"Well, I still wished I would have, it's really hard to raise a baby by yourself," Jing Mei said, eating cookie dough.

"You know what? You can bring little Frank over anytime you want and Mark and I will take care of him," Elizabeth said.

"Really?" Jing Mei squealed.

"Yeah, and I'm willing to give you more time off if you need it," Kerry joined in.

"And if you ever need a free checkup, I can come up to your house every time you want," Cleo said.

"You know, this might be the sugar rush talking, but I love you guys so much," Elizabeth cried.

"Aww," they all squealed, crying and moved over for a big group hug on the couch.


Mark unlocked the door to his house and walked in, followed by Luka. The house was completely destroyed, there was food everywhere and in the living room, five lumps were in the couch and the floor.

"Wow," Luka said.

"You know I'll have to clean this up now, right?" Mark said. "Get yours and get out here before the rest wake up, they attack in herds," Mark said.

Luka laughed and walked over to the living room, trying to figure out which was Abby. He finally saw two brown pig tails coming out of a sleeping bag and knelt next to her. "Abby," he said softly, but she didn't move, so he just grabbed the sleeping back with Abby in it, and threw her over his shoulder.

Carter walked through the door. "Wow, who fed them after midnight?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" Mark asked.

"Well, after around 15 prank calls last night, I finally recognized the number and I called back, I promised Deb I'd come and pick her up," he said. "Where is she?"

"Good luck with that," Luka said as he grabbed Abby's back pack and walked out the door with her over his shoulder.

"I think that's her on the Barbie sleeping bag," Mark said.

Carter walked into the living room, but stepped on something which presumably was Elizabeth.

"Ow!" she said as she woke up, waking the others as well. "Carter?" she moaned.

"Sorry, I didn't know that was you," he said.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd actually come," Jing Mei said.

"Yeah, well, I'm here so, who else needs a ride?" he asked.

"I do," Cleo said.

"Great, thanks Carter," Mark said.

"Someone kidnapped Abby!" Kerry said.

"Luka took her," Mark said.

Elizabeth stood up and walked Cleo, Jing Mei, Carter and Kerry out the door.

"This was so much fun," Jing Mei said.

"Thanks for coming, we're going that have to do it again sometime," Elizabeth said.

"Don't count on it," Mark said and closed the door.

"Geez Mark, we had a lovely time, you should be happy for us," she said.

Mark grabbed a picture from the floor and looked at it, "Why is Kerry wearing my underwear and my secret hair piece?"

The End...

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