Let Me Fall After Her
Chapter 8 "There Was No Hope"
Carter's eyes felt like they were superglued shut. He
wrenched them open, fighting off the stinging urge to curl up tighter
and fall back asleep. His mouth was dry as a sock. Bringing his
eyes to focus, he looked around him. Confusion entered his mind, and
he rolled over to his other side, noticing Kerry in a chair beside
"Kerry?" He had no idea why she was there.
"How you feeling?" she asked.
"Tired." He lay his head in the pillow and shut his eyes.
The previous events were a blur to him; all he knew was that he was
"Do you feel up to talking to Mark?" She stood up and put
her hand on the door knob.
Carter opened his eyes again. Mark? Why would he talk to
him… the truth suddenly hit him hard. Anna. Fear swept across his
face and into his eyes. He sat up quickly, ready to race out of the
"Stay there," Kerry told him. "I'll be right back."
She left him alone. He was shaking. The thought of Anna
being hurt was scaring the hell out of him. He needed to know. To
know if she was all right. He wanted, needed to see her, to be with
her right now. He would tell her he was sorry, to ask to give him
another chance. He couldn't imagine his life without her.
He curled back up, waiting for Mark to come in. Butterflies
entered his stomach and he felt like vomiting.
The door opened slowly and Mark made his way inside, with
Kerry and Abby behind him. He pulled a chair over beside the bed and
sat down. Carter could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't
good news. He lay solemn, looking at Mark.
"Carter, we tried. God knows we tried everything we could."
His voice was broken. He took a small breath. "But we couldn't save
her. There was just too much… her brain was hemmoraging, and we
think a rib might have punctured her heart, causing her to arrest."
He couldn't bare to look into Carter's eyes, so he lowered his head
and stared at his feet. "We tried to save her Carter, but she died."
He looked back up at his friend, not knowing what his
response would be. Carter's dark eyes stared unfocused then began to
water up. He clamped them shut and let out a shaky cry. He didn't
say anything, just buried his face in the pillow, where he began to
"There was just no hope," Mark finished, knowing anything
more he said would be disregarded by him.
"It was my fault," Carter choked out into the pillow,
muffling his accusations on himself. "I pushed her away. I made her
"Carter, none of this was your fault," Mark said loudly,
angered that Carter would think of himself that way. Any person
could die and Carter would find some way to blame himself for their
death. "You hear me? None of it. It was an accident. No one could
have prevented it."
Carter rose and was off the bed in a single motion. He
walked passed Mark towards the door.
"I'd like to be alone," he told them all quietly as he went
out of the room. The others remained where they were, though
hesitant to follow.
"Shouldn't we go after him?" Abby asked.
"He said he wants to be alone," Mark said defensively.
"Mark," Kerry butted in. "He was just told that his friend
died! We can't just leave him alone after that."
"I'll go talk to him," Abby offered.
"No, I'll do it." Mark got up and went to follow after
Carter. "I should talk to him."