Malucci and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
CATEGORY: DM humor
DISCLAIMER: I still do not own NBC, “ER”, or any of the characters in “ER”.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This story was helped along by the book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judith Viorst.
SUMMARY: Dave has a bad day in the ER and nothing will go right, or will it?
“Agh, I hate Mondays!” Dr. Dave Malucci muttered to himself as he rode into work on his bike. Mondays were never good; it meant the start of another week in what he considered could sometimes be hell.
Dave was riding on the sidewalk in a daze, until he realized a cop car was trying to get his attention. So he stopped on the curve next to the car, wondering what ever in the world could he have done wrong.
“Excuse me, sir. You are not wearing a helmet as you are riding your bike.”
Malucci smiled slightly at the man saying, “I don’t think I need one. I have been hit before, and so far I still seem to be up and walking around.”
“That is no excuse, sir. Did you know that it is a law in this state to wear a bike helmet?” the policeman questioned.
“But I’m not a child, I don’t have to wear one,” Dave said starting to get impatient.
“Yes, you do. That law requires all citizens to wear one, not only children”
“Yeah, right!” Malucci said getting outraged, “I am NOT going to wear one!”
“I suggest you do, and because of your outburst, you are also getting a fine,” the man said getting out a book from his pocket.
“I’m getting a fine?”
“For not wearing my helmet?”
“Yes, sir. You also talked back to me.”
“I can’t believe this!” Malucci said throwing his hands up in the air, “This guy is giving me a ticket because I don’t have a bike helmet!”
Most of the people on the sidewalk now had stopped and were looking at Malucci as if he were crazy. Dave decided it wasn’t worth fighting for anymore, and leaned against his bike with his arms folded across his chest as he waited for the policeman to finish writing his fine.
“There you go sir, make sure you have it paid in 30 days,” and with that said the policeman got in his car and went to go look for some more people breaking the law.
“Whatever!” Malucci said as he got on his bike and started riding to work again.
Dave was outside and was just riding up to the hospital, after almost getting run over by an ambulance that had just pulled in. Dave rode up to the bike rack, when all of the sudden he heard what sounded like air escaping from somewhere.
“Aw, man!” he said as he watched his tire slowly start to deflate, “now what am I going to do?”
He kicked the bike rack a little too hard in frustration, and ended up stubbing his toe.
“Owwww!” he hollered in pain, holding his foot and biting his lip. Just at that chosen moment of course, Chen and Abby came outside to the awaiting ambulance, and went back inside cracking up laughing at Malucci. “Of course!” he thought, “two of the most eligible girls come out here when I’m acting like an idiot!”
Once he had composed himself, he went inside to the hospital and the first thing that heard was Kerry calling out his name.
“Malucci, why are you walking in here 15 minutes late?” Kerry said coming over to him, and making a scene as she did.
“Uh, I’m sorry chief, it won’t happen again!’ he said hoping that would be enough.
“No Malucci, I want an explanation!” she stated.
Dave scratched the back of his head and muttered, “I was pulled over by a cop.”
“I can’t hear you Malucci, you need to speak up!”
“I was pulled over by a cop, ok? I wasn’t wearing my helmet and he gave me a ticket! So that’s why I’m late, is that good enough?” Dave spewed out in one breath. He could hear a couple of the nurses already starting to laugh at him.
“If you want to be a good doctor, you can’t come in here late! Now go get ready, I expect to see you in five minutes working busily.
“Yes, chief!” he said and backed away into the lounge. “This day can’t possibly get any worse!” he said as he opened his locker, and all of its contents fell onto the head of the doctor. He leaned down and picked up the strew of stuff all over the ground, and stood back up, hitting his head on the locker door as he did so.
“Hey Malucci, what’s wrong?” Mark said as he entered the lounge.
“I’m just not having a very good day, that’s all,” he said rubbing his head while closing his locker door hoping nothing else would fall out.
“You know, if you were wearing a helmet there, you wouldn’t have hurt yourself!” Mark said smiling.
“Ha, ha very funny. So I guess you heard, I now have to wear a helmet,” he sighed rolling his eyes.
“Yes, but I think its a good thing that you should. But I have to go, you better hurry up too, I think Kerry is looking for you.” Mark commented as he left the room.
“Oh, boy. I can’t wait!” he said while trying to throw his stethoscope around his neck, which came back around and hit him on the side of the head. Dave just sighed and walked out the door.
“I need you to stay still for a second so I can get this Pokemon marshmallow out of your nose!” Dave said trying to act nice to this little kid. So far today he had been thrown up on, spit on, cussed out, and he has had not one good patient all day. This one was starting to get on his last nerve.
“Quentin Bartholomew Nathaniel Channing the tenth! Stay still so this doctor can get this thing out of your nose and we can go home!” the mother said. She had gotten on Dave’s last nerve just about as bad as her kid had!
“No!” the boy said kicking as he did so. He ended up kicking Malucci in the....well....he just kicked him.
Dave stood up really quickly, and bit on his lip really hard trying not to yell out or do anything.
“Are you alright? Quentin say sorry to this man!” the mother ordered.
“No!” the boy said again.
“It’s alright, I’m fine.” Malucci said hoping his voice was not up an octave or two. “Let’s just try to get this done, shall we?” And with that he went to work again.
“Have a good day ma’am!” Malucci said. It had taken him almost a half-hour to get that thing out of the child’s nose.
“You too! Say bye to the man Quent!”
“Glad that is over with!” Malucci said not watching where he was walking. He ending up walking onto a wet floor and his feet slipped out from under him as he fell.
“Graceful!” Chuny stated as she passed Dave lying on the floor.
“Yeah, whatever” he said still trying to look cool as he wiped himself off. “Who didn’t leave a sign here anyway? Where is that old hag custodian who is supposed to....”
SLAP! Malucci was almost on the floor again. “I’m not just an old lady who cleans up after you slobs. You need to mind you manners, young ‘un!” the custodian said who had walked up behind Dave as he criticized her work.
“Sorry, sorry, your right! It was my fault that I didn’t see the spill!” he said as he rubbed his jaw.
“Man Maluc, what happened to all your ‘great boxing skills,’ huh?” Malik said as he walked up to Dave.
Dave just turned away and walked to the lounge with people calling all kinds of things behind him, like if he had wet his pants or had an “accident”. “Coffee, that’s what I need is some coffee.” But of course, there was no coffee because nothing would go right for Malucci today. “I need a vacation!” he thought holding his head in his hands.
“Please, Chief, no more children for today! I have had to deal with enough little brats to last me a life time!” Malucci said. Kerry was now assigning him to a 4-year-old girl whom had fell and cut her head.
“Malucci, as doctors you don’t always get to choose your cases. Now I suggest you go help that girl!” Kerry said sternly
“Yes, Chief,” Dave sighed and walked into exam two.
A little blond hair girl sat there holding a cloth to her head with one hand, and was clutching a box of candy with the other. A young mother sat next to her and was telling her a story. The girl looked as though she had been crying, and was really scared.
“Hey....Marie!” Dave said looking at his chart, “I’m Doctor Dave and I’m going to help you get better. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I fell down the stairs outside,” the girl said her lip trembling.
“Ok, how about I have a look at that cut?”
“It hurts!” the girl said starting to cry.
“Well how about I give you some medicine. Haleh? Can you get me some Tylenol?” Dave asked the nurse that had just walked in.
“Sure thing,” she said and walked back out.
It took some coaxing on Dave and the Mother’s part before the girl showed him the cut. It wasn’t that deep, but she would need some stitches.
“Ok, how about you give me that candy, and I’ll put it over here for you?” Malucci asked.
“No, I want to hold on to it, it’s mine!” she responded.
Dave decided not to argue, and had gotten the girl already for the procedure, and gave her some Tylenol for the pain. He even was able to give her novocaine and she didn’t notice.
“Alright, you might feel some tugging on your forehead, ok?” Dave told her.
Malucci was able to get a few stitches in, but all of sudden she started crying and moving all around.
“I want to go home!” she cried and hollered.
“It’s ok, just hold on for a few more seconds....” he tried.
“No!” she screamed and started moving again. Dave moved clear out of her way, not wanting a repeat of the last kid. Eventually, her mom was able to calm her down, and while she held her daughter’s hand and read to her, Dave finished stitching her up.
Dave was cleaning up while the girl and her mother got ready to leave. Dave just wanted this day to be over with, it was one of the worst days he had ever had here at County General. Nothing would ever make this day better.
The girl and her Mother walked out of the room, when all of sudden they stopped. The girl was fooling around with her box of candy, then came running back to Malucci.
“What is it?” he asked.
The girl told him to lean down, so he did so. The girl then placed a piece of candy in his hand, placed her small arms around his neck, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and told him, “Thank-you, I love you, bye!” and she ran back to her mother.
Malucci sat squatting there for a few minutes, looking at the piece of candy in his hands, and thinking to himself, “Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all!”
The End =0)
Ok, everybody say it, “Awwww!” lol I don’t think there is such a law in Chicago about wearing your helmet, but it fit with my story, so now there is! I hope you liked my second story, and I would great appreciate any feedback, good or bad!