Never Too Late




2. If I Never Knew You


He wasn't sure how long he held her, feeling her tears seep through to his skin, filled with an instinctive anger at whoever had done this to her - and the ever-prominent thought that it had been him. People must have passed, he supposed. Flights must have been called, the crowd must have yelled back and forth. Technically, he knew it, but in those seconds, or minutes, or hours, he felt none of it. Heard nothing but her ragged breathing, saw nothing but her shaking form in his arms. Emotions surged through him, with such intensity that he came close to sobbing himself. He'd boarded that plane with a hole in his chest, sure that the next time he saw her, she'd be Mrs. John Carter. No matter how selfish he told himself it was, he hadn't been able to make himself stop wishing that she'd come back to him...

And she had. It had been like a miracle, seeing her sitting there, in agony because she was crying, but filled with a kind of awe that she'd been crying for him.

*If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me*

Gradually, her sobs died away, and she lifted her head, tearstains engraving tracks down her pale cheeks. Gently, as he might touch a butterfly perched on his finger, he lifted a hand, drying them away. She looked up at him, her eyes still shining with unshed moisture, but filled with a light he hadn't seen in so long...

"Abby...I'm sorry..."

She nearly gave way to sobbing again at this, but shook her head, raw pain in her eyes. Her mouth moved, but she didn't speak, as if her words had failed her. Slowly, she leaned forward, meeting his lips with hers.

*In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you*

The moment she kissed him, something stirred within her. The traces of the bond that she'd though had died out for good sprang to life, a roaring blaze from the embers. The feeling she'd had when he'd held her yesterday came back a hundred-fold, leaving her gasping with its intensity. When they broke apart, she looked up, the expression on his face telling her all she needed to know.

A soft smile was etched on his face, a look of quiet wonder. She knew it well; it had been months, a year, nearly, but that image had burned itself into her heart when she'd first seen it, when they had kissed the first time, saying without words that holding her was the best feeling he'd ever known. All too soon, sadness and guilt edged onto his face, and he made to stand.

"Abby, I shouldn't...Carter..."

She put a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head again.

*If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true*

Confusion flickered in his eyes briefly, then he looked down. "Abby, I'm sorry. What..."

Tonelessly, she related what had happened the past few days - Eric's call, the funeral...he stayed silent, though the flash of stifled anger in his eyes was plain when she mentioned how Carter had dismissed her. Eventually, she trailed off, looking down at her hands with a sigh. A light touch on her chin made her raise her head...and then he was holding her once more, kissing her with the urgency that both felt, the one thought in her mind and her heart that this was right.

*I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you*

The rest of the day was like a blur. He took her to lunch in the small airport restaurant, and they joked about how the food was almost as bad as the hospital cafeteria. Neither were on shift that day, and they just stayed there and talked, about their patients, about Eric...everything under the sun except for the plane that would take off for the Congo the next day.

Outside, darkness crept in, and the loudspeaker boomed that the airport would be closing 'In ten minutes...'. He looked at her, uncertainty in his eyes, and she gave an almost imperceptible nod.

*I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we made the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night*

The sun filtering in through the curtained window stung his eyelids, and he moaned slightly, loath to open them, vastly preferring to stay in this sleepy warmth...

He frowned, slightly. Warmth? Since when was...as consciousness slowly reasserted itself, his memories of yesterday came back. He looked down, half-afraid that he had dreamed it all, that the warmth he felt wasn't real...but it was. At his movement, Abby shifted slightly in her sleep, snuggling closer to him as a smile crept unbidden across his face.

The room brightened suddenly as the sun peeked out from the clouds, and she sleepily opened her eyes, blinking a bit. She looked up at him, and her eyes widened.

"Luka...?"

"Morning," he said, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards as his voice took on a teasing tone. "What are you doing up this early?"

She smiled softly, leaving him completely unprepared when she swiftly plucked the pillow from under her head and popped him with it.

*But still my heart is singing
We were right*

He laughed, startled, the first real laugh she'd heard from him in ages. Gordana Horvat's words echoed in her memory, and it was with a touch of sadness that she realized what the other woman had meant. She was quickly snapped out of her musings, however, as Luka gathered up the pillow to return fire, eyes sparkling with mischief.

A few minutes later, their impromptu pillow fight came to a truce, and he propped himself on an elbow, quirking a brow at her. "I take it you still don't believe in breakfast?"

She responded by raising the pillow again, mock-threateningly, drawing another laugh.

*And if I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through

Empty as the sky

Never knowing why

Lost forever

If I never knew you*



Part 3
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