Lucy Knight was on the roof, sitting on the concrete, letting the night breeze of Chicago blow her hair in the air. She was still upset about the little girl Corinna, who was crashing down on the ICU. She had done anything possible to find her father during the whole day so he could donate some blood for his own daughter. The little girl’s blood type was rare and her father’s type matched. Unfortunely he had run away after leaving her in the hospital. Lucy felt somewhat responsible for letting him slip away like that, so she went searching everywhere for him. She bumped into Dr. Carter on her way. God, that guy got on her nerves, but amanzingly they had made it to get through the day with no scratches. He was so stubborn, their personalities clearly didn’t match, but he was her teacher and she had to find a way to relate to him in a civil way. Well, she had to admit that she wasn’t making any easier on him too. The day was quite an adventure, they had gone to strange and dangerous places together, in order to track the guy down. When they found the guy it was too late. The girl had lost too much blood and there were damages in several organs. She was in the coma.
Lucy wipped a tear off her face feeling powerless and frustrated with herself. She wasn’t fast enough to save that little girl.... She just wanted to help. She stared at the dark sky above her and the stars sparkling close to the full moon that lightened the whole city. Seemed like the whole world was unaware of her pain. She took a deep breath as she heard some footsteps coming from behind. "Probably someone calling me to see some patient" she thought. Dr. Susan Lewis climbed the stairs to check on Lucy. She was very worried about her. It was never easy to lose some patient, and she knew that Lucy got envolved easily with the patients. She was very sensitive to their lives and problems. Susan knew exactly how it felt, she had been there when she first started her ER routations. Until today she had a tendency to worry too much with her patients, but she tried to concentrated in their medical problems first.
Susan took a few steps closer to Lucy, who had tears streaming down her cheek.
_Hey _ she said sitting next to her.
_Hey _ Lucy replied quietly, staring at the floor.
_Long day, huh?
Lucy nodded wearily.
_You did a great job out there, Lucy. You should be proud of yourself.
Lucy shook her head in disbelief of Susan’s words. She wipped off the tears that insisted to fall down.
_It’s not fair ......... I thought I would help her...
_If I hadn’t let the guy go away when he first came...
_It’s not your fault. You did everything you could to help her.
_I wish I could had done more. _ she said bitterly.
_So... doesn’t it get easier with the time? _ Lucy asked looking up at her.
_Nope. I mean, you may get used to see sick people everyday, but it never gets easier, specially when you see a innocent child suffering like that.
They were silent for a minute.Then Susan’s pager went off. She picked it up from her lab coat pocket to see who was calling her.
_I gotta go. _ Susan said getting up. _ Are you gonna be ok?
Lucy nodded and smiled weakly.
_Are you sure?
_Yeah. _ Lucy replied. _ Thanks, Dr. Lewis.
_Don’t mention it.
Susan smiled and turned around to the stairs. Lucy remained looking at the sky, but not really paying attention to it. Her mind was still on the little girl Corinna and the possibility that she might never wake up from the coma.
Meanwhile Carter walked around the hospital, trying to find Lucy. His left shoulder was imobilized and he was still in pain. The day had really been something.... Now, the only thing he wanted was to crash somewhere to take some rest, but his shift would start in less than an hour. He approached the admission’s desk and leaned over the counter.
_Randi, have you seen Lucy? _ he asked.
_Do I look like her baby-sitter? _ she asked sarcastically.
Carter grimaced at her comment. He began to walk towards the exam room, when he saw Susan and Carol coming in his direction.
_Hey, have you seen Lucy around? _ Carter asked.
_Uh, yeah. She’s up on the roof _ Susan replied
_Ok, thanks. _ he started to walk away.
_Carter? _Susan called after him.
Carter turned around to face her.
_Take it easy on her. She’s pretty upset.
Carter nodded and entered the elevator. Lucy was deep in thought when she heard a familiar voice coming from behind her.
_Hi _ Carter said.
She didn’t turn around to look at him because she didn’t want him to see how upset she was. She should be professional about it and move on, like he had taught her, but she was having a hard time trying to do it.
_I thought you had headed home. _ she said, her voice with no emotion.
_Nope, we are on in an hour...
He stood next to her, noticing she was not ok.
_Do you want to talk? _ he asked taking a few steps closer to her.
_I thought we were saving her ... _ she said trying to hold back the tears.
_We gave her a chance. Now, it’s in God’s hands.
_It’s not enough!
_I know it’s not, but it’s all we can do. Lucy, when I first started working in here, I was just like you. In my mind, I had to save the whole world. But time showed me that it wasn’t quite it. We don’t have this power, the only thing we can do is do our best to heal the patients and hope it will work out fine.
_And when it doesn’t?
_We cry over it for a second and then move on. That’s the way it goes.
Lucy shook her head. Carter sat next to her.
_I don’t know if I will be able to do this _ she said after some minutes.
_Yes, you will. You’ll make a great doctor Lucy. I know that.
She took a few minutes to deliberate.
_Why are you beeing so gentle all of the sudden? _ she asked.
_I’m just saying the truth. I know how you feel. I really wanted to save that little girl too. But we fought a good fight.
Lucy looked at him with her big blue eyes filled with sadness.
_You fought a good fight, Lucy. Tomorrow we’ll fight a new one.
Carter put his arm gently around her shoulders and pulled her close, in a way that her head was resting on his chest. Lucy was totally surprised by that sudden act of tenderness of Carter towards her. It was the first time he ever said something nice to her and also the first time he seemed worried about her. Was there really a sensitive Carter underneath that hostil and impatient exterior? Lucy sighed and appreciate his friendly hug, leaning against his chest to find some comfort.
Carter felt good to finally be showing he cared about her. He had been pretty unfair to his med-student these last couple months. He never listened to her opinions and always tried to make her feel low. He knew he had to change, after all, he was her teacher and his job was to make her learn the procedures and enjoy the medicine practice.
He heard her crying quietly, her face buried in her hands. He wished there was something he could do, or something he could say to make her feel better.But at the moment the only thing he could offer was his shoulder for her to cry on and his understanding.
"Wanna cry for you
Would it do any good?
If I rained for you
It would just be water
And the night's with you
And the storm's in your hand
And you're down and you're down
And I can't lift you
I'm powerless to change your world
I'm powerless to stop the hurt
I'll give you my heart, give you my shoulder
Give you my heart, give you my shoulder"
Carter had never realized, until that day, how fragile Lucy was inside. She was a fighter, stubborn, independent and knew exactly how to piss him off, but underneath all that she had a sensitive and sweet character. He knew he should take easy on her, she was a good girl and probably a good student if he paid more attention to her needs. And maybe a good friend, why not?! Carter had a terrible imperfection, that was his tendency to shut everybody out of his life whenever they got too close. Not that Lucy was getting close, but she did something to him, she brought up his dark side, and he didn’t even knew how or why, but he avoided to get envolved personaly with her. She had told him recently that he got defensive everytime she tried to discuss or to question anything. At first he laughed at her comment, but thinking about it better he noticed that she was right. Lucy was right. He still had a hard time believing in that, but it was the truth.
Lucy tried to make the sobs go away. She wipped the tears off her face and took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together. It had been such a long time since she hadn’t cried like that. She had always tried to be strong and well-composed in front of everybody else, specially the people in the hospital. God, how come she cried in front of Carter?! Of all the people in the world, she had to show her vulnerability to him? She groaned silently as the tears finally stopped falling. She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye, not looking up directly at him. He seemed concentrated in his own thoughts. Lucy was starting to enjoy that contact, too much that it made her worried. She slowly raised her head up, getting some distance of his shoulder. They stood silent for a while, none of them knowing what to do after that oddly tender moment they had just shared.
_So, what about your shoulder? _she asked pointing to his imobilized arm.
_Uh, it’s deslocated.
_That’s bad. I’m sorry for pulling it so hard like that....
_No, no, you did the right way. But I’m not very good at handling pain... _he said with a weak smile.
_Tell me about it. I saw your face when I pulled your arm. It was like _ Lucy said mimicking Carter’s face in a funny way.
She opened her eyes and her mouth faking a pain statement.Carter laughed.
_Oh, you’re so exagerating...
Lucy gave him a "C’mon" look.
_Ok, ok. I’ll give that one. _ he replied with a smile.
Lucy grinned and then laughed.
Were they actually laughing * together *?
Lucy looked around at the city lights below. The chilly air of the night made her shiver briefly. Carter followed her look. The night was beautiful. The dark sky was full of bright stars surrouding the silver moon. The perfect scenery for a romantic night.... "Oh my God! Roxanne!" Carter muttered to himself. He promised he would call her when he solved the little girl’s case. She was probably so pissed off with him that she wouldn’t want to talk to him anyway. He knew he had blew their sailing plans for that afternoon, but he needed her to understand that he had to help the kid. He sighed as the smiled suddenly fade off his face. Sometimes he thought that it would be great to be with someone who really understood the commitment he had with his profession. But Roxanne was a nice lady, she liked him very much and was trying to make the relationship work. Carter wished he had more time to dedicate to her, but deep down he knew that they didn’t have much future together. He liked her, but love was still a far concept in his heart, at least towards her. And lately, he felt like he needed to love somebody deeply to jump into a serious relationship. That was one of the reasons he wasn’t trying hard to build an intense connection with Roxanne. Carter took a deep breath and put these thoughts away. The day had been tough enough and he decided that he would only analize his future with his girlfriend later, when he was "clear- minded" and relaxed.
_It’s a great view from up here ... _ she said turning around to look at him.
Carter was still distracted, lost in thoughts. He looked up at her, a little confused and unsure about what she had said.
_What are you thinking of? _ she asked.
Carter paused for a second.
_I’m thinking that we didn’t eat our cheeseburgers. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. _ he replied
_Didn’t we forget them on that place?
_Oh, damn it! _he mumbled. _Wanna go over there to pick them up? _ he asked only half- kidding.
_Oh, there’s no way in hell I’ll go back to that place.... But there’s always Doc Magoo’s _ she suggested.
Lucy was amazed by her own words. A few hours ago she would rather die than have a meal with Carter. But at that moment.... she though it was the right thing to do, due to everything they had experienced during that day. Who knew? Maybe he wasn’t as hideous as she first thought. Carter was surprised by her invitation but very pleased at the same time. For the first time in a long time they were doing some progress, they were actually able to communicate.
_You’re smart Lucy _ he said playfully as he stood up.
Lucy gave him a sarcastic smile and got up too. Carter put his hand over his shoulders and closed his eyes in pain for a second.
_Are you sure you’re alright? _ she asked, showing concern.
_Uh, yeah. I’ll be better when the pain killers kick in... _he replied going down the stairs.
_You know, I can always pull it harder, if you want .... _ she teased with a wicked smile.
He turned to look at her. The sadness seemed to have gone away from her eyes. Carter was happy to realize that. Could he be the reponsible for that?! He shook his head and couldn’t help a smile when he saw her taking pleasure of his moment of weakness.
_Very funny ....You will never forget that, will you? _ he asked.
_Nope. _ she grinned.
_Great, ‘cause I’ll never forget the "carrot thing" either ... _ he said going along with the play.
Lucy shook her head slightly as she remembered the carrot case and how much he and the hospital’s staff had laughed at her innocent comment of a patient swalling a whole carrot.
_That’s so low .... _ she said.
Carter laughed and continued to make his way down the stairs. She followed him from behind laughing quietly too. Seemed like they were finally on the right track with each other. .. They both knew they needed to change they way to relate to each other, for both their sakes. Lucy couldn’t resent her teacher if she really wanted to suceed in her career and if Carter had to pass his experience to someone, at least he could do that the right way and be fair. They looked at that situation as a chance to make up their own mistakes and misjudgements to each other and start a cordial relationship. Nobody knew about the future and its surprises. Neither did Carter and Lucy. Things they could never predict or imagine would come ahead in their paths. Maybe a close, intimate relationship, a strong friendship, who could tell? But something was bound to come up.....
With nothing but good intentions in their minds, they headed for the Doc Magoo’s to have a late dinner....
To be continued?!
( maybe, it’s up to you guys! Let me know what you think..;))