Power Struggle




A minute and a half after the bathroom door had closed, Abby reappeared.  John held his breath.  "So?" he asked, his voice full of anticipation. 

"I'm not pregnant," she said softly, throwing the test in the trash.

John's face fell.  "Abby..." he said, walking toward her and taking her in his arms. 

She forcefully pulled away.  "What?  You're mad now?" she asked accusingly.  John started to protest, but she continued.  "You know, John, I can never make you happy, can I?  I can never be the person you want me to be.  You've always wondered why I can't be all these things.  Why can't I be Sober Abby?  Or Happy Abby?  Or whatever the hell else you want me to be.  Well, now I guess you're pissed because I'm not Pregnant Abby.  God, John, why can't you just be happy with what you've got?  Huh?  Oh, that's right, John Carter's life has to be perfect because his family is.  I'm sorry, John, but that's not me.  Why don't you just go fuck some blonde bimbo?  Then you can marry her and she can have as many of your children as you want.  Hell, you can mold her into whatever the fuck you wished I would have been!"  She stood there, staring at him for what seemed like hours.  She slowly pulled her coat off the stool and just as slowly wrapped it around her shoulders, never taking her eyes off him for a second. 

John reached for her.  "Abby, don't-"

Through the lump in her throat, she managed to speak.  "I'm sorry, John, I just can't do this," she said shakily, backing toward the door.

John followed her.  "Abby, please..."

"I just can't..." she said, holding her hands up as if to defend herself.  She quickly turned the knob on the door and walked out, with John right behind her.  "Don't.  Don't follow me!"

Just as she picked up her pace, John caught her arm and held her.  Silence enveloped them, until John finally spoke.  "Please come back inside," he said softly, not wanting to anger her more.  After a brief pause, she nodded.  Sighing with relief, John led her back inside.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The days events weren't mentioned for the rest of the night.  After a long, hot bath, Abby seemed to be in better spirits.  She made them dinner and they watched movies together afterwards.  That night, they made love for the first time in what seemed like forever.  They laid there talking for hours and by the next morning they seemed to have a deeper understanding for one another.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Neither of them worked the next day.  Abby spent the morning running errands, while John took care of business for the Carter Family Foundation.

That night, while Abby was fixing dinner, the phone rang.  "John!  Could you get that please?"  She could hear the shower running and decided to let the machine pick it up.  The machine clicked on and Maggie's voice filtered through the air.  "Abby?  Abby, are you there?  Oh, well, I guess you and John must be out.  I was just calling to say hello ... call me back.  Love you.  Bye!" 

John walked into the kitchen just in time to hear the tail end of Maggie's message.  He looked from the machine to Abby.  "Was that your Mom?"  Abby just stood there, frozen.  "Abby?" he asked, walking toward her.  He reached out just in time to catch her.  She collapsed, sobbing, into his arms.  Through her sobs, Abby managed to speak.  "I know what it is... John... I know what it is now..."  She tried to gain her composure, but just ended up sobbing even harder.  John tried to hold her the best he could as the sobs wracked her body.  Shaking, Abby lowered herself to the floor.  Wiping the hair out of her eyes, John asked, "Abby?  What's the matter?  What's wrong?"  Abby maintained her composure long enough to speak.  "It's happening.  It's finally happening.  I never thought it would happen to me," she said, as sobs once again took their hold over her body.



Part 4
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