Power Struggle




***Previously, on ER***

John walked into the kitchen just in time to hear the tail end of Maggie's message.  He looked from the machine to Abby.  "Was that your Mom?"  Abby just stood there, frozen.  "Abby?" he asked, walking toward her.  He reached out just in time to catch her.  She collapsed, sobbing, into his arms.  Through her sobs, Abby managed to speak.  "I know what it is... John... I know what it is now..."  She tried to gain her composure, but just ended up sobbing even harder.  John tried to hold her the best he could as the sobs wracked her body.  Shaking, Abby lowered herself to the floor.  Wiping the hair out of her eyes, John asked, "Abby?  What's the matter?  What's wrong?"  Abby maintained her composure long enough to speak.  "It's happening.  It's finally happening.  I never thought it would happen to me," she said, as sobs once again took their hold over her body. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After her breakdown that night, John let Abby have as much space as she needed.  He didn't try to force the subject, but he was there when she felt ready to talk.

Abby poked her head inside their bedroom.  "John?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning off the TV and switching on the lamp next to the bed.

Abby sighed, putting her hands over her face and getting into bed next to him.  Unable to look at him, she focused her attention on the sheets, tracing the designs with her finger. "John, I..." her sentence trailed off as shame controlled her.  Looking him in the eye, she continued, "I'm so sorry.  If I could change things I would.  You don't deserve all this."

"Abby," he said, taking her face in his hands.  "I love you.  And we're going to get through this.  Together.  I promise you."

"But... you actually want to be with someone who's crazy?" she asked, half laughing.  "I think you're crazy."

Carter laughed.  "I don't doubt that.  But Abby, we don't even know for sure yet.  You need to go see a doctor tomorrow.  I'll set up an appointment for you and we'll go from there, okay?"

Abby sighed, lying her head on the pillow and looking up at him.  "Can't you do it?" she asked.

John smiled.  "I think I'm involved enough as it is."

*12 hours later ~ 11:45am ~ County General*

"Yes, may I speak with Dr. Phillips, please?"  John shuffled through charts in the lounge as he waited to set up Abby's appointment. 

"Hey," Susan said, coming in the door and heading straight for the coffee pot. 

"Hey," Carter replied.  Just as Susan was about to sit down across from him, John asked, "Susan... This call is kinda... personal, would you mind.....?"

"Oh, of course not.  I'll be around if you need me," Susan said, leaving the lounge, balancing a pile of charts and a hot coffee with ease.

"Hello, Dr. Phillips?  This is John Carter...  Right.  Um, I was wondering if it would be possible for you to see a patient this afternoon?  Abigail Lockhart.  Um, manic-depressive disorder...  2:15?  Great.  Thanks."  John hung up the phone and sighed.  Now if only he knew how to put a hush to the rumors that would inevitably be circulating by dinnertime.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Abby had called in sick that morning.  Both her and John agreed that it probably wasn't a good idea for her to work until everything was sorted out.

The ring of the phone jolted Abby from her sleeping position on the couch.  She quickly looked at her watch.  *12:04*  Shit, she thought as she picked up the phone.  "Hello?"  "Abby?  It's me.  I set up an appointment for you this afternoon, with Dr. Phillips.  It's at 2:15.  Do you want me to come get you?"  Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Abby tried her best to pay attention to what Carter was telling her.  "No, no.  I'll be there.  I can make it.  2:15, right?"  "Right," Carter replied.  "Okay, I'll be there.  Thanks, John."  "Abby, are you sure you don't want me to come get you?"  "Yes!," she snapped, hanging up the phone.

*County General ~ 3:00pm*

Frank pushed open the door to Trauma 1, where Carter and Weaver were working on a patient.  "Carter, you have a phone call."

"Uh, I'm a little busy, Frank...  Take a message," John said as he intubated the victim of a motorcycle accident.

"It's some doctor from upstairs.  Says Abby missed her appointment," Frank stated.

John's head jerked up.  "What?!"

Kerry gave John a concerned look.  "Go, John," she said.

"What line, Frank?" he asked, rushing to the phone.

"Two," Frank replied, leaving the room.

"This is John Carter," he said, a million things rushing through his mind.  "She what?  Oh, God.  Thank you.  I'll handle it... yes... thank you."  John hung up the phone and sighed, looking around at the now-empty trauma room. 

"They took him up to surgery," Kerry said, pulling off her gown and gloves.  "You okay?"

"Look, Kerry, I gotta go.  I've got 2 hours left on my shift.  I'll... I'll make it up sometime, but I've really gotta go."

"Sure, sure," Kerry replied.  "Everything all right, John?"

"I'll explain it to you later," he said, rushing out of the hospital.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John's stomach knotted as he climbed the stairs of their apartment building.  What had she done?  Where was she?  Was she alive?

As soon as he unlocked the door, the smell of booze knocked him in the face.  Stepping over broken bottles and shards of glass, John made his way over to the couch.  "Oh, God.  Abby?"  Abby's still form was lying on the couch, a blanket and bottle on top of her.



Part 5
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