Questions Without Answers

AUTHOR: Carbychick
CATEGORY: JC/AL Romance/Angst
RATING: PG-13 (Strong language in upcoming parts)
SPOILERS: Not that I know of!
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.
DISCLAIMER: As usual, I don't own ER, Noah or Maura. But if you ever love my work so much you want to give me a present...
AUTHOR'S NOTES: PLEASE, PLEASE Read & Review! I'm yet to recieve reviews on any of my previous fics, and I'd really like to know how I'm doing! Love it, hate it, whatever... write anyway! Oh, and by the way... temporarily I've let Mark rise from his grave... I didn't really like his death plot anyway.
SUMMARY: When Carter is hurt in a tragic accident, Abby realizes her true feelings for him, and is going to try and make it work when he needs her most. I know it might not sound all that great... could you read it anyway?

Abby sat at the nurse’s station with Haleh and Chuny.  The hospital was quiet for once, with no patients to be seen, and they were flipping through a scrubs catalogue and commenting on hot doctors. Haleh had just remarked that she’d always liked Dr. Benton, that she had a thing for tall, stubborn men. Chuny admitted that she sometimes fantasized about Dr. Dave, because she liked a guy who was a rebel and a daredevil. Abby, however, had become silent as soon as the topic hit cute guys.

“C’mon, Abby!” Haleh pleaded.

“Yeah, you have to tell us, or we’ll assume, not to mention spread, that you have a thing for Mark Greene...” Chuny pleaded.

The two nurses looked at each other, knowing very well exactly whom she liked. Sometime during this conversation, Abby had turned a bright shade of red.

“Say it!” Chuny urged.

Taking a big swig of her Coke, Abby swallowed hard and said, “I’m... obsessed... with...”, she said, hesitantly, “CARTER!!!!!!!” She screamed the last part and began laughing wildly.

“Chuny, girl, we’re GOOD!” shouted Haleh.

“Yeah! How long have we known now?”

 Abby, who was now much redder than before, said, “He’s just so HOT! I mean, you can’t tell me those liquid, chocolate brown eyes don’t just make your heart melt. God, his eyes! And he’s tall, and he looks so strong, and he’s pretty thin, but in a powerful, manly way, and...”, she lowered her voice, and Chuny and Haleh leaned in, knowing what she was going to say, “he has a GREAT ass!” She laughed before saying, “oh, and he’s really nice too.”

She felt no need to explain to the two gossiping nurses how much of her love for him centered on how much he cared for her, how he’d always been there for her, and everything else he did that made her feel totally blown away by him.

Suddenly, a loud crackling sound came over the emergency radio. Abby raced over to it, and loudly said, “This is County General. What do you have?”

A voice replied, “This is ambulance 204. We have victims of a helicopter crash, how many can you take?”

Abby glanced over at the board, which had more patients on it than it had when she’d been gossiping, and said, “Two majors, four minors.”

“OK. We have one major, a man approximately 32 years of age, possible broken neck, leg, arm and ribs, severe head trauma and possible ruptured abdomen plus multiple minor injuries, no pulse or breathing, was pinned under the wreckage for ten minutes. Also have about six minors with lacerations, burns, and minor fractures. We’ll be arriving in about 10 minutes.” Then the radio was silent. The hospital was silent too, for a minute, then everyone sprung into action.

“Prep Trauma 2! Call Surgery and have them send Elizabeth down NOW! Portable ultrasound to Trauma 2!” Abby shouted out, surprised people heard her amongst the sudden chaos. She got a pair of gloves, a pair of safety glasses, and a trauma gown on. Then she, along with Weaver, Chen, Elizabeth, Chuny, and Haleh, waited. For a few moments there was silence, then a gurney burst through the doors to the ER.

“This is the major. We have a pulse, but no breathing, multiple possible broken bones, possible ruptured abdomen, head trauma, several major and minor lacerations, BP 80/60.”

By this time they had reached the trauma room. Abby hadn’t even looked at the face of the disheveled body that lay on the gurney she was pushing. And she didn’t until she had to move so Chen could bag him.

Suddenly, she fell limp. Her eyes widened and her mouth was wide open. Abby nearly fainted, and would have hit the floor had Chuny not caught her.

Weaver looked up from the man long enough to nod to Chuny, who put an arm around Abby’s bony shoulders and gently led her out of the trauma room. The shocked expression had not yet left Abby’s face.

Mark Greene, his shift having just begun, gestured to Chuny, indicating that she could return to the trauma room and sat down next to Abby. He comforted her, or tried, saying, “Shhh, it’s ok, it’s ok. Carter will be ok.”

Abby had no idea how long she’d been sitting there, crying. Somehow she’d known that she shouldn’t go back in the trauma room. Many others had gone in, though, the last of which she recognized as Dr. Babcock, the anesthesiologist. Mark had long ago left her side, as he had to care for some of the minors of the trauma. Hell, she hadn’t even realized she’d been crying until she noticed the wet drops on her shirt that had rolled off of her face.

God, why Carter? He’d gone on a helicopter rescue to an accident scene and had come back as the accident.

She looked up at the clock as she tried desperately to remember what time that fateful call had come in. It must have been about 1:00, she thought halfheartedly, so it had been a little under an hour.

A gurney suddenly exploded out of the doors of the room she sat next to, followed by Chuny, who flashed Abby an energetic grin as she passed by. A British voice followed it, instructing Chuny to rush Carter to surgery, where Romano was waiting to operate. Moments later, Chen, Weaver, and Haleh walked out of the room and quietly shuffled to the admit desk.

Elizabeth was the last to leave Trauma 2. She walked a few feet to where Abby was seated on an unoccupied gurney in the hallway and sat down next to her. Abby said nothing, only shifted so she faced Elizabeth. Her eyes, still brimming with tears, locked with those of the British surgeon and timidly begged for news.

Elizabeth took a deep breath before saying, “For now, Abby, Carter’s stable. He does have a ruptured abdomen, which is why he’s been sedated and is being operated on by Romano at this very moment. He also has several bruised and broken ribs, a broken arm, and a fractured leg. He had a neck injury that wasn’t a break or fracture, but a separation of two of the bones in the back of his neck”, Elizabeth said, somehow not finding it appropriate to use medical terms, “that has been taken care of as well. None of his lacerations were extremely major, although several were deep.” Elizabeth paused, not sure how to tell her this next part, finally deciding that there was no good way. “And his larynx may have been damaged.”

“Also, before you ask, no, we didn’t give him any pain medication.”

Abby gulped, devastated with this sudden rush of depressing news. And yet, surprisingly, though she was the worst of pessimists, she was temporarily filled with joy at the fact that he was alive. The love of her life had made it.

Then she thought harder about the bullet that Elizabeth had just given her.

Elizabeth, who had watched this sudden rush of feelings hit Abby, suddenly wrapped her arms around the nurse’s small figure. “Abby, he’s going to be ok. Carter’s strong. He’ll pull through this.” She pulled back, looked at Abby, and said, “but I think he’d do it more quickly with you to help him.”

Leaving Abby to think about this, she got up and walked to the admit desk, which was within Abby’s view. Mark was waiting for Elizabeth there, and when she reached him, they kissed passionately.  For a few moments they talked, nose to nose, head pressed together, as he wiped the tears away from her eyes. Then Mark turned her around in his arms, let her lean against him, and wrapped his arms around her waist. She rested his head on her shoulder and he kissed her head, talking to her softly. 

Abby turned away, instead focusing on Chairs. There, a couple waited together, holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes, and talking excitedly about the baby that, judging by the appearance of the woman.

God, Abby thought, turning away, why are there so many people around here that are in love? I’m in love, but now, not only is it possible that the man I love doesn’t feel the same way, but now he’s lying on a cold metal operating table, being saved from internally bleeding to death.

Then, she thought, I’m sure as hell going to be there when he wakes up.

That is, if he wakes up.


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