Peter sat stunned at the counter of Doc Magoo's, contemplating the
cold and resentful remarks of his girl friend. His mind ached from all
the craziness of the ER and all he wanted was a sympatric ear. Instead
his need was thrown back in his face. Somehow his intentions to keep
the one thing constant in his life were somehow misconstrued as a break
up or as some intentional act of indifference.
Peter twirled the glass of water in his hands. How come the world
seemed to mount obstacle after obstacle into one insurmountable challenge
to be overcome at once? He loved his son and he would do anything for
Reece. Nothing came between him and the necessity of being a father.
Peter sighed and arched his back in an attempt to stretch stiff muscles.
Today was hellish, full of cases that seemed to drop from the sky.
He was surgeon trained in the art of human repair; he did not study
medicine for almost a decade to over see incoming traumas without a
chance to heal the injured. This was Romano's punishment, to slip the
carrot in front of his nose and watch him follow it around to only have
it snatched from underneath him.
He was not a personnel director, or a traffic coordinator, that was
Kerry's job. He sat unaccustomed to degrading thoughts, his mind filled
with rejection. His skills were questioned when he was unable to handle
the juggling act of arranging patients and matching them with proper
needs. He did not have the bedside manner to control the child for a
general examination. When he praised Cleo for help in a pedes case,
he was practically chastised for his efforts.
Cleo. Since when did things get so complicated with her? What did
he do to her to receive such callous treatment? Peter sighed unwilling
to let himself loath in self-pity. He scanned the dining area and noticed
John Carter enter. The resident shuffled in slowly not looking at anyone
in the room. He scanned one side of the dinner and found a vacant seat
and occupied it.
Peter watched the younger man place his hands on the table and begin
to stare at them, lost in his own internal thoughts. The man looked
unnerved about something and his mannerisms suggested that he was trying
unsuccessfully to cope with some unknown stress or situation. His lips
seemed to tremble and with shaky hands he retrieved a pack of cigarettes.
Peter frowned as he watched John tap the pack against the table and
pull out one of them. He placed it in his mouth, lit it, and drew in
deeply as if the nicotine could squelch any of the demons taunting him
now. Peter looked down at his own hands, he couldn't help Carter. What
words could he speak that would heal the other man? It was obvious his
people skills needed a lot of work and he was not in any mood to encourage
others when his own self-doubt was eating away at him now.
He ignored him, he had to. Peter did not get up to leave, because
if he did that it would just attract attention. He definitely did not
want the other doctor to think he didn't care, he simply couldn't right
now. The surgeon felt trapped, but that dreaded feeling had been dogging
him for a week now, he was used to it. Peter saw a familiar figure enter
the dinner and saw Kerry Weaver searching for someone. She caught sight
of Carter and went towards him.
'Good, let Weaver, console him with whatever is wrong,' Peter thought.
John contemplated his fingers, such delicate instruments. They were
trained to perform the most complicated procedures, they held babies,
and commanded authority. However, too many times their owner was responsible
for the deaths of innocent people. He fought so hard to overcome his
injuries and he conquered his drug addiction, yet he was not able to
heal. His morbid recollections were interrupted by a soft voice,
Carter looked up and gestured for Kerry to sit down. Once she was
settled and a waitress took down their order, he crushed his cigarette
in the ashtray.
"Sorry, my last habit," he said. as he extinguished the
remains of his comfort.
Kerry stared at him, but smiled when she spoke, "We all have
little vices, I'm sure after time we all get over them."
John knew there were no hidden motives in her words, but he could
not help, but think they indeed camouflaged a deeper meaning. "I'm
sure you're right," He replied softly.
"So, is this my weekly stress review?" John asked in between
a halfhearted laugh.
Kerry grew serious; she did not want to put him on the defensive
right now. "John, I just thought you might want to talk about..."
"Kerry, I know you're just trying to be nice, but I talk to
you and Mark once a week and I discuss things in AA meetings."
Carter explained showing his uneasiness over the topic.
"Do you really?" Kerry challenged, her voice not accusing,
John looked puzzled at first, his hands reaching for his pack of
smokes, but they stopped short. "If you're going to ask if I have
the support of my family, the answer is yes." John said evenly,
his eyes on his hands again.
Kerry did not back down, she did not want to be confrontational,
but her friend needed to open up to someone. "I can't imagine the
conversation you must had have with your grandmother about the shooting."
John looked at her sharply, but he knew she was right. "I didn't
tell my grandmother, she's a nervous wreck about by return as it is."
Kerry nodded her head, his admittance was a good step, but the implications
were sad to hear. "Did you talk about it at all?"
John fidgeted in his seat, "It was difficult," pause "I
thought." John's eyes drifted away as the images repeated in his
head. His voice grew soft, "The shooting reminded me about my vulnerability
and it seemed like a horrible set back. I just got my confidence back
and..." Carter's voice trailed off.
"It was a horrible thing John, but..."
Kerry couldn't seem to complete her thoughts when John spoke again, "Today was different, that kid had his whole life in front of him. I had no right to tell him about his medical status. His grandmother was over protective, she had no right to shelter him from something so vital, but it was not my decision to break her rules." John conceded.
"I intervened because of my own opinions and it killed him."
Carter said void of emotion.
"What about her girlfriend, didn't she have the right to know?
Did Trent's grandmother have the right to govern the way she lived as
well? What about anyone else either of them slept with?"
John shook his head denying the perfect logic. "I was asking
for trouble, I should have arranged for them to speak to a counselor
first, or had one preset when I presented them the news." He played
with his pack, toying with one of the cigarettes in his hands.
Kerry placed her hand on top of John's keeping it still and trying
somehow to lend him calmness and support. "It was a freak accident
and that is a tragedy, but it is not your fault, John. You did the right
thing and in the end probably saved more lives in the process. His girlfriend
knows and will receive treatment now, thanks to your clear thinking."
Kerry reassured him.
"I guess, but Kerry when do I stop seeking the silver lining?
When can I act as a doctor without questioning my ability or confidence?"
John's brown eyes sought clarity, understanding in his friends'.
Kerry squeezed his hand, rubbing her thumb slightly against his skin.
It was comforting to feel and he let down his barrier. "You know
it's hard to be honest about my feelings without thinking I'm being
judged or examined. We used to be able to talk before, but..."
"We can rebuild that again, John. As your boss, I have to be
sure you are coping well, but as your friend I care about you. It would
be difficult for any person to handle the amount of stress you have
encountered these past few weeks, but you have. I'm proud of you."
Kerry noticed how John seemed to check his watch and smiled, "Not
yet, you have time for one more thing." Kerry turned to the waitress
and ordered a huge hot fudged sundae much to Carter's excitement. "I
think a chocolate fix is something that should be encouraged,"
John laughed out loud. He knew that had some double meaning, but
he was comfortable with the joke. The atmosphere lightened up and both
doctors dug into the ice cream. Carter out did himself my inhaling more
than his half of the dessert and more than once he engaged in battle
with Kerry's spoon.
"John Carter, you don't fight fair," Kerry exclaimed when
his spoon, clobbered hers sending ice cream over her face.
Carter could not hide his grin when dripping ice cream tarnished
the ever-professional Kerry Weaver. She found Carter's laugh contagious
and let out several giggles. She glanced at the crowd to notice the
brooding surgeon alone at his seat by the counter.
"Looks like someone is still not having a good day," gesturing
John saw his former teacher sulking by an empty glass of water and
recalled his crazy first day back. It was hard to return to work under
the scrutiny of a boss, Carter mused. He looked up at Weaver, a twinkle
in his eye, "I have a remedy for this."
Peter sought out his escape from the confines of the dinner, but
he could not tear himself from watching his co-workers discuss things.
Peter felt like an eavesdropper, but Carter seemed very distraught over
the conversation and even though he felt no indication to walk over
and interrupt, he could not bring himself to leave if the conversation
He had been too busy to notice Carter, so Peter had no idea if anything
horrific had happened to the younger doctor. The resident met with Greene
and Weaver for stress check ups, but that was conducted in the privacy
of an office, not out in public. The surgeon could not imagine anything
more upsetting then the shooting that occurred in his absence. He sought
Carter out on the phone when he heard it on the grape vine, but per
usual, Peter had been assured he was dealing with it.
Peter looked away in embarrassment when it seemed like Kerry needed
to comfort the other doctor. 'That is something I definitely can not
do,' he mused. Satisfied that someone who could connect with him was
attending to Carter, Peter turned his thoughts back to his miserable
day. When he thought it was safe to venture away when he heard his co-workers
laughing and saw an ice cream sundae appear before his eyes.
Slightly annoyed to have his private time interrupted, Peter looked
up with his usual unpleasant manner. "What's this, Carter?"
He asked the younger doctor who was peering down on him with a huge
smile plastered on his face.
"It many parts of the world, its called ice cream, Dr. Benton."
"I know what it is. Why am I looking at it?" Peter complained.
"So, you can eat it, would be my idea." John replied humorously.
Peter sighed heavily; he was not in the frame in mind to deal with
Carter when he was acting this way. "Thanks, but I don't want any,"
he replied grumpily.
John continued to smile undaunted and placed the dessert in front
of the surgeon and handed him a spoon. "Come on, Dr. Benton, everyone
enjoys ice cream, I'll even help you eat it, " he offered.
"You must have the fastest metabolism, Cater, you almost finished
an entire one earlier." Peter groaned when he realized he admitted
in watching his friend.
"Oh really?" Carter asked. "Been watching me, Dr.
Benton? Some might say you were concerned?" Carter could not resist
egging his mentor on.
"No one would suggest that, Carter." Peter stared at the
sundae and admitted to himself it did seem tempting.
Carter leaned on to the counter with his elbows, "I know you
Peter grabbed his spoon dramatically, "Fine, now you can go
Carter laughed and shook his head. "You amaze me, Dr. Benton,
but enjoy it. My treat."
Peter watched John leave with Kerry in tow. He pondered the sundae
and looked around to see if anyone was looking. Satisfied that there
were not any spies he used the spoon as a shovel and dug in greedily.
He smiled at the gesture that Carter had shown him. No pressure to talk,
no comforting words, just a simple acknowledgement. The younger doctor
knew him too well and that made the surgeon smile as he enjoyed the
dessert. He retained a position at the hospital and his son remained
in his care. Despite all the shit he had to put up with, the simple
things in life made it seem a little bit better.
"Thanks, Carter," he said under his breath.
John walked Kerry to her car delighted that he was able to give someone
else a simple act of kindness. His boss stood outside her car door and
hesitated a minute, "I'm glad we were able to just talk, John,
it means a lot that you trust me."
John shrugged his shoulders, "I'm glad you came after me today,
Dr. Weaver, I'm glad I opened up. I was going to speak with my sponsor,
but I don't know where she went."
Kerry smiled, "Perhaps she's helping someone else, maybe this
was meant to happen." She replied.
John nodded, "Perhaps. Good night, Dr. Weaver." The resident
watched Kerry drive away and let his mind wonder, he didn't know what
Abby was up to, but he was sure it had something to do with Luka Kovac.
John blew out a breath, "Boy, he needs her more than I do,"
he said out loud at the thought what the Croatian had gone though the
Abby had entered Luka's hotel room with only concern for his well
being. When she saw him alone and dejected she had only wanted to comfort
him. The docks had wounded him that night and it was something that
would be slow to heal. Passionate and sensitive men were like that,
am admirable trait, but one that was a heavy burden to bear.
She smoothed out his hair, as she held his head close to her chest.
Abby felt his defeat, the literal collapse of emotions. She stroked
his cheek and the brought their faces to each other. Two sets of eyes
that longed for a connection, for the feeling of want and need. She
brought her lips to his and they shared a gentle kiss. Suddenly their
eyes met in a mixture of disbelief and desire.
Luka pulled back, and waited. He saw Abby close her eyes, taking
a deep breath as if she could not believe what was happening.
"Luka..." Her grip intensified on his shoulders then she
felt a quick dart of his tongue sending tingles down her spine. Leaning
forward he kissed her again, she felt his breath hot on her face and
let him in. His tongue explored her mouth and slipped in and out to
His eyes closed tightly, Luka felt her tongue lightly caress his bottom lip,
as she returned his passion double fold. He could not contain the
urge any longer and toyed with the buttons of her blouse. Keeping slow
to make sure this was the desired course of action; he was delighted
when she reciprocated unfastening his own shirt, pulling it free of
Abby gazed at Luka his face was flushed and vulnerable looking, that
statementonly served to fuel her with the desire to complete him,
if just for one night. She stared into his dark eyes and let her self
get lost in them. Their lips meet again and with a swift motion he lifted
her up and both of them retreated to the bed. Luka gently kissed her
along her face as she peered above her. It was quite a turn on to see
her over him, in a position of control.
Abby ran her hands all over his chest, remembering what it was like
to imagine what he looked like minus his shirt, his strong muscles hidden
from view. Luka ran his hands up and down her back as she proceeded
to run her tongue over the side of his neck beneath the shirt collar.
She alternating between sucking and planting kisses, sending shivers
down his spine.
Luka being the ever gentlemen, paused, "Abby,...you don't have
to do this...if"
She placed her finger over his lips to silence him and returned the
gesture by kissing it. He pulled her closer causing the bed to creak
slightly causing them both to laugh. Luka placed his mouth along her
collarbone, and licked the sensitive skin, eliciting a low moan from
her. Her blouse remain unbutton which would just not do and he slipped
it off her shoulders revealing a black, silky bra. She caressed his
face and let her hands slip into his hair where she played with some
of the loose strands.
He carefully undid the clasp that was in front instead of the back,
to reveal her ample breasts. They hung down, so soft and inviting. He
took his finger and stroked one of her nipples that became heard to
the touch. He smiled at her reaction loving the sensitivity the action
had. He caressed her breasts and moved his mouth over the right one,
the heat of his breath causing Abby to shiver.
He sucked on it gently, the ease of which were helped by the fact
that she remained above him. She shifted slightly resting her hips and
feeling his hardness pressed against her. A smile spread across her
face as Abby realized how much his body was excited by the situation.
As he switched and started sucking on the left breast, he took one of
his hands and started teasing the right one. Unable to control her passion,
Abby fumbled with the buckle to his pants and quickly drew the zipper
She slipped her hand inside and ran her own fingers along his boxers
making him moan in pleasure. She teased the materiel breaking his concentration.
He pulled back from her, closing his eyes tightly from the pleasure
emanating from her touch. She withdrew her hand only to replace the
stimulation by shifting her body up and down causing his erection to
"Oh, God, Abby stop teasing me," he begged. She obliged by helping to remove his pants and boxers ever so slowly, then pushing the rest to the floor using her foot.
"Take, your time next, why don't you," He teased in her
ear at her deliberate actions.
Knowing it was her turn, she let Luka trace her bare skin along her
sides as he unbuttoned her pants and unable to control her anticipation
she slide them off. Knowing that there was only one layer of clothing
left separating them, Luka grabbed a hold of her waist and flipped her
down so he was facing her. He nuzzled her neck, as he peeled her panties
off. He pushed his weight upon her, and smiled as she squirmed a little,
the action causing her to groan.
Abby wanted to be a part of him so badly, the need to fill him with
pleasure was overwhelming. She wanted to fill those sad eyes, with something
else. Abby smiled when he slipped his finger within her, with such gentleness.
He stroked her lightly arousing her to levels she thought forgotten.
Being a doctor had its advantages as Luka's finger explored her depths,
rubbing and teasing the most sensitive areas. Slowly he pushed his fingers
inside her, dipping them in and out, causing her to gasp for air.
Not wanting him to feel left out, Abby took a hold of his length
and stoked it at the same time sometimes squeezing it gently. She could
feel him pulsate beneath her touch. Finally they both let go of each
other letting their bare, skin touch each other, creating an electric
spark course between them. The heat emitted from both their bodies causing
the room to burn in tune with their desire.
Abby grinned, "Flip over again," Luka obeyed and lay on
his back. She lowered her self-kissing him as she went down his body.
After taking her time she reached her goal taking him into her mouth,
eliciting a deep growl from Luka. She let her fingers play along the
inside of his thigh as he tongue licked him up and down his erection.
Finally she took him fully into her mouth rolling her tongue along the
tip of his arousal.
Luka arched up in reaction, as he grabbed her hair, running his hands
though her locks, getting them entwined around his fingers. She kept
moving her tongue up and down causing him to shiver and squirm underneath
Luka could not take it any more; he grabbed her by her shoulders
and pulled her to his mouth. They shared a deep kiss, his tongue moving
along the inside of her mouth. He let his tongue lick around her body,
teasing her breasts, her naval, and back up to her neck. He wrapped
his legs around her body.
"You do have something, don't you?" She whispered in his
He leaned over to the nightstand and retrieved the desired item.
She unwrapped the condom and slide it over his length. Slowly she was
descending upon him, feeling him inside her. He helped glide her down
gently, holding onto her hips to encourage her. She rode him slowly
then increased the pace, their thrusts picking up in tempo and intensity.
He slide his hands over her bare back as her body devoured him. The
speed increased and Luka felt himself come and let out a loud groan
as Abby felt her climax, sending jolts of pleasure though her body.
After what seemed like forever, both of them lay next to each, completely
satisfied. Both breathed deeply, their energy extinguished from their
lovemaking. Abby rolled over on top of Luka's chest and stared into
his eyes. Nothing was said; there was no need for talk. Luka wrapped
his arms around her and simply breathed and engrained this moment into
Luka knew that sometimes he accepted the hand life dealt you, because
in the end it was the simple acts of kindness and friendship that made
it all worthwhile.