Second Chance: So I Guess This Is Goodbye




********************************************
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me
*********************************************

Carter went to work, came home, went to work, came home. It was the continuous cycle he had taken ever since Grace had stopped talking to him. For three weeks, Carter hadn't seen her, spoken to her. It reminded him of the time Grace wouldn't return his calls. Only this time it was worse, because he knew what he had done wrong. And he couldn't fix it

The phone rang, and his heart jumped as he picked it up, "Hello?"

"Hey Carter - It's Abby."

"Hi Abby - What's up?" He said, with a slight bit of disappointment.

"Carter - I talked to Grace. You need to go talk to her."

"What is it?" He asked confused.

"Just talk to Grace - Tonight." She said point-blank.

"Abby, it's past nine....She'll be putting Emma to bed."

"Just do it Carter - Trust me." She said urgently.

"Okay, Bye Abby."

"Bye." Abby said as Carter hung up the phone.

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I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
*****************************************

He knocked three times on the door of Grace's apartment. She opened the door, looking at him questioningly. "Can I come in?" He asked.

"Sure," She opened the door and let him in, shutting it behind him.

"Abby told me I should talk to.....What's with all the boxes?" He asked, noticing the piles of boxes on the floor.

"That's what I needed to tell you." She swallowed, "I'm moving to Colorado."

"What?" He said in shock, "When?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. I'm driving out there."

"Why?" He had limited himself to one-word responses.

"Why? All of my family, my mom excluded, is out there....And I just couldn't stay - not now."

"Grace. I'm sorry - I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just always wanted to be with you, to kiss you, to hold you.....I couldn't tell you because I was afraid I'd lose you. And now I'm going to." He said, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

Grace watched him transfixed, leaning in as if she were about to kiss, him closing her eyes....Carter moved in to meet her lips, but before their lips reached each other, Grace pulled away, opening her eyes.

"I, no - I'm sorry....I can't." She said, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "I think you should go."

Carter stepped back, feeling rejected, "Can you and Emma come over before you leave? To say goodbye?"

"Yeah - I'll drop by." She agreed

He began to walk out the door when Grace said, "Carter?"

"Yes?" He turned around, already in her hallway.

"I well, I......" She cut herself off, shutting the door.

Carter walked away after the door closed. Grace didn't need to say it - He knew that she just couldn't feel the same.

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I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
***************************************

The morning had come and gone, and the afternoon had begun. It was the next day - goodbye day. Carter still couldn't believe that Grace was actually leaving. An overwhelming sense of dread passed through him when he heard a knock on the door. *So I guess this is goodbye,* he thought as he opened the door.

He looked at Emma, who was being held in her mother's arms. It seemed that the small child had grown since he last saw her. He wondered how long it would be before he would see her again - See them again. Would years pass before he saw the two people he had focused the past year of his life on?

He took Emma from Grace's arms, holding her. "Well Miss Emma - You probably won't remember the time we spent together, but I will. I always wished that you had been my baby," He admitted to her, "That I could claim to be the father of such a wonderful little girl." He kissed the top of her head and placed her in her carrier. "I'll miss you Emma."

He turned to Grace, who had tears running down her face. He hugged her, holding her there with him for as long as he could. When he released her, the only thing he said was the whispered word, "Goodbye."

A minute later, Grace had taken Emma and driven off - She was gone. Carter stood, staring at the closed door. She was everything to him, she meant the world to him. But she was gone now, and for the first time in a year, Carter was all alone.

Grace was driving down the road, Emma in the back, in her car seat. She was leaving Chicago. She was leaving her best friend, the man her daughter adored, and the person who she had leaned on for the past year. For the first time in a year, Grace was all alone.

*****************************************
I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
*****************************************

"How long ago did she leave?" Abby questioned over the phone

"A little over an hour ago." He said, twisting the phone cord.

"It took you an hour to call?" She mock scolded him.

"Well, I had to mope for at least that long." He joked, staring out the window, looking at the pouring rain. "Thanks for telling me to talk to her."

"She said that if you hadn't talked to her, she would have talked to you. I figured you'd rather talk to her."

"Thanks - Man, I hate this...." He admitted.

"Listen - you, me, and Dave should do something this weekend.....Go to a movie or something?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." He was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Abby - I have to go, there's someone at the door."

"It's probably Dave - He said that he was going to stop over at your place." She said.

"Nice of him to call first. Bye" He said sarcastically as he hung up the phone, and walked over to the door, saying, "Dave - you know, you could have called...." He stopped as he opened the door.

It was Grace standing in the doorway, her hair soaked with rain, her eyes soaked with tears. She stared at him intently, her hands empty, as she walked into the apartment without an explanation.

"Where's Emma?" Was all that Carter could get out.

"I dropped her off at my mom's." She turned to him. "I got a little over a half an hour out of the city when Emma started to cry. And I was crying even harder than she was. I thought about Emma, and how much I love her. And how I wasn't even going to keep her at first because of the rape. My life just wouldn't be the same without her." She paused, "And I realized that it would be stupid of me to immediately push something away just because of the beginning it had. So you lied to me......But I have to give it a chance, because I can't imagine my life without you John. I love you....I'm just hoping you'll give me another chance."

She leaned toward him again, only this time her lips met his. He closed his eyes, feeling the power of the kiss, the power of her love. Cupping her face in his hands, he swore to never leave her, to never lie to her. As they joined in heart, body, and soul, in the love he was missing, he knew what he had been missing all along - Love, his Grace. As their hands found each other, both of them knew that they would never have to be alone again.

END OF SERIES




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