ER/Stand Crossover




She walked through the rows of corn, taking odd comfort in the gentle wind and the surprisingly sweet smell of the fresh damp earth. She wasn't a country girl, by no means, but she could appreciate a beautiful summer day. The bright clear blue sky was untroubled by clouds or airplane contrails, and a part of her, a big part really, was starting to not miss all of the hustle and bustle of modern life. The night before, after the first meal she'd enjoyed in almost a month, they had played Monopoly for hours. A stupid game, and made slightly depressing by the use of real money that Doug had brought from one of the town banks, but fun just the same simply because everyone had gotten into it. It had been Doug's idea to play though, and he hadn't touched a drop of liquor all evening. Of course, that hadn't stopped him from starting to get drunk as soon as the game was done, but he had tried at least. Her father had been a drunk. Not the desperate sort of depressed drunk that Doug was, but a real drunk. Doug still had the capability of stopping himself. She doubted he realized that. Certainly none of the doctor types would listen to her thoughts on the matter.

Oh that's not fair, she told herself after a moment. You don't give them much to base an opinion on, what with your snide remarks and skills in petty theft. That was certainly the way to prove your worth with a group of highly educated people. Randi shook her head. They were good people, she knew that, but they weren't the most practical people on the face of the earth and they definitely weren't very aware. Doug drank almost constantly but no one seemed to notice until he brought out the bottle. She knew Kerry had overheard most if not all of their discussions on her mental state. Randi knew the older woman had stopped taking the Prozac, which made a number of the discussions concerning the medication rather funny. How they could miss the fact that she was palming the pills every morning was beyond her. Randi hadn't said anything since Kerry had seemed pleasant and calm. A little too calm considering all that had been happening but Randi got the sense that she was attempting to portray herself as better than she probably was.

Which was just fine with Randi. A Dr. Weaver forcing herself to be calm and pleasant meant far fewer arguments and screaming matches with Dr. Weaver. Randi had worked in the ER far too long to think that situation was normal. Normal, she thought, was everyone ignoring me, so at least that's pretty normal.

It made her angry, to be honest. She didn't expect or want attention focused on her every second. A simple " thank you for opening that locked door" was all she wanted. These people would be lost without me, she thought as she whapped corn leaves out of her way. Take Carter. He was very good at doctoring, but when it came to practical things, like auto repair or finding fresh water, he was next to useless. She'd rather be left alone with Lucy, who was willing to learn the finer points of keeping a motorcycle running. Lucy was, she had to admit, trying very hard to be friendly. In a way, it made her feel bad since she hadn't exactly been receptive. Lucy was just so young seeming. They didn't have a lot in common except surviving the flu and being about the same age.

At least she didn't run off at the drop of a hat, she thought darkly. Carter had run off early that morning with promises of a "surprise". She wondered if he had any idea what a mess he'd left behind. Neither Jeanie or Luka were in any mood to be responsible. They had driven off promising steaks and brandishing shot guns. She would believe it when she had a rare steak on her plate. Sure, they might actually kill a cow, though she had honest doubts on whether they understood just where hamburger came from, it was the butchering of the victim cow that would stymie them.

Those two were something of a surprise. For their part, they seemed awkward about it, awkward but happy. She was fine with it, though more than a touch jealous. Luka was very attractive, and she wasn't blind. Still, Jeanie deserved something nice to happen. Randi wasn't a medical professional by any means but she knew what Jeanie had. She supposed that was why Jeanie was always so depressed. Even Doug had good moods when he wasn't drunk. Carter was relatively cheerful on a daily basis. Lucy was almost too perky, but Randi allowed that it might have something to do with the Ritalin she took. That was a habit the other young woman had kept hidden, mostly from embarrassment. Despite having been so sick the night before that she had to be carried to bed, Lucy had been bright eyed and exuberant that morning. No doubt she was driving Kerry insane, Randi thought with a smile. Kerry was in a funk anyway so it would do her some good to be around Lucy. The situation with Luka and Jeanie had honestly pleased the older woman, so that wasn't what had set her mood off.

Probably it was Doug, Randi thought as she continued moving through the corn toward. Doug generally made everyone angry with the nonstop drinking. Doug, or maybe she wasn't sleeping well. Idly, she wondered if Kerry's dreams were as bad as her own had been. She had, at one point, been munching the sleep medication like it was candy. Her own moods after one of the dreams where the dark man chased and chased her were usually pretty terrible.

" Carter!" she yelled, getting tired of searching for him. " Where the hell are you?"

" Keep walking!" She headed towards his voice. In a matter of seconds she had cleared the cornfield and was standing near the bank of a small river. She had spotted it from the motel balcony the day before, though from there the only thing that could be seen were low trees in a row. There was a small dock edging out into the water and seated on it was Carter. His feet were dangling into the water and he was casting a fishing line. Fishing, she thought with some irritation, he's out fishing. Yet another thing she suspected he wasn't very good at. Carter was a clumsy bumbler with almost every task. He tended to drop anything that was handed to him and though Luka had taken the worst spill on the motorcycles, Carter had taken the most.

" What are you doing?" she asked. It seemed obvious but one never really knew.

He grinned at her as she stepped out onto the dock and held up a string of fish. Even to her inexperienced eye, it looked like an excellent catch. " I'm providing a feast for the tribe. While everyone is out gathering roots and berries, I will be bringing home much needed protein."

Ok, Randi told herself, I *am* impressed that he actually caught fish. She took a seat next to him. " I was just..." What was I doing, she asked herself. The only real reason she had gone looking for Carter was that she was bored and irritated that everyone that was well and physically capable of walking long distances had taken off. " I just needed to get away."

" I know the feeling." Carter said. He reeled in the line. The hook was empty. " We're not the jolliest group are we? How have you been? You seem to be handling things... so much better than everyone else. " At first she thought he was joking, but after a moment she realized he was being completely serious. Not only that, he meant it as a compliment. Not only had he noticed what she'd been doing, he was impressed. Despite herself, she found herself growing flush with pleasure.

His expression grew concerned, and embarrassed. " I didn't mean anything by that... Just that you seem so... collected. Sometimes I think you're the only one in this group that knows what to do." He gestured to the fishing pole. " You may not have noticed but I'm not exactly pulling survival tricks out of my bag hand over fist. I can fish, I know how to hunt deer, and I could take out your appendix if the need arose. That's pretty much it." He sighed. " I guess I was just thinking we don't say thank you very much to each other, you especially." He turned and looked at her. " Thank you."

" Your welcome, " she stammered. She looked down at her feet. You are *not* blushing, she told herself harshly, you are not blushing just because he complimented you. Its not like he finds you attractive or anything. He just feels bad for not acknowledging you. That's not an advance. That's really not anything.

It wouldn't hurt to return the favor either, she realized after a moment. Carter wasn't doing such a bad job, not really. He wasn't the most competent, that was true, but he did try. He did manage to keep everyone organized and there were a lot of potential personality conflicts that he smoothed over. Carter kept everyone from jumping down each other's throats with his quick deflections and changes in discussion. She looked to Kovac for physical leadership, where to go, how to get there, but she realized that they all looked to Carter to keep them focused. " You know, " she said softly, " Sometimes, when everyone is arguing and you're there nodding along and then completely turn everything around, you remind me of Dr. Greene. He had that way of... agreeing with everyone's points but making sure that his opinion got full consideration."

He smiled. She spotted a flash of pain cross his face, but it was gone almost in an instant. " That's about as good of a compliment as I can ever hope to get. For years he was the doctor I tried to imitate. I miss Mark... In a way I wish he was here. He was a good guy." He sighed. " And I wish Peter was here. And Carol.... And everyone really."

" I know what you mean," she said after a moment. There were times she even missed the score of homeless people that used the ER as their crash pad.

Carter chuckled again. " You know, Dr. Weaver said something to me a few weeks ago. Did you ever think, at this point last summer, that this is what you'd be doing? That you'd be sitting here with me in Iowa, fishing. That everyone would be dead and that you and I and the rest of our group would be the building blocks of a new civilization? "

" Makes you a touch concerned for the future doesn't it?" Randi said jokingly. It made her feel frightened in a way, but deep down she had to admit, it was exhilarating in its own way.

Carter recast his line. " At the time it depressed the hell out of me. "

" You should hear her go on about the Mir Space Station, " Randi said. That had been a fun midnight chat.

He laughed. " Yes, we've had that talk too. I guess though, the best thing we can do is move forward. Things are either going to be better or worse and it all pretty much depends on us. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by that."

" I never thought I'd ever be in Iowa." Randi said, hoping to cheer him up. " You know, this is the farthest I've ever been from Chicago. " She found herself looking him over. He was, she admitted, a good looking clumsy bumbler. " This is probably the first time we ever really talked too. You gotta wonder... Think we'd ever have talked like this before the plague?"

Carter looked at her again, this time with sudden interest in his eyes. " Probably not, but I've been regretting that for a while now. Maybe we should start over. You're not Randi the desk clerk and I'm not John the doctor, not any more. Its a different world. " He held out his hand to her. " Hi, I'm John. Would you like to learn how to catch fish?"

She smiled, and took his hand in hers. " I'm Randi, and yes I would."

He handed her the pole. " Maybe later you can show me how to pick locks."

And maybe, she thought as she took the pole, this is what I hope it is. She cast out the line, and let his hands guide hers as they fished together.



Part 20
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