ER/Stand Crossover




It was a cold day to be out flying kites, Doug thought as looked through the window. Jeanie and Taris were running around the backyard playing with some sort of brightly colored flying cube of cloth. One of those expensive toys, he thought, that usually only rich adults could afford. There were certainly enough expensive toys in town to suit him, but he hadn't much felt like looking.

Is it depression, he asked himself, or the natural feeling one gets after spending the entire summer trying to drink all the alcohol in the world. He didn't know. What he did know was that he didn't feel much better after sobering up. Oh sure, the clarity of thought was nice, and not waking up with a hangover was even better, but Doug didn't really feel much happier about things.

He wasn't unhappy enough to start drinking again, which had to count for something. After the initial withdrawal, where he had felt horrible, it had eased off. He was craving alcohol, but he didn't *need* it. Not much anyway. He certainly wanted a drink but so far he had managed to resist the temptation.

The dreams had evidently stopped. Lucy was still having nightmares, she admitted it, but he had taken enough headshrinking classes to understand why. Her dreams were different, more like real nightmares. Flagg generally didn't make any appearances, but Doug had a pretty good idea what was disturbing Lucy's sleep.

Now Jeanie, he thought as he looked out the window again, is a different story. You could tell she was able to sleep at night. She simply looked more alive. Happier. Carter and Randi also seemed happy though Randi had been pretty touchy as of late. Doug had wondered if the stress of the summer had somehow warped their relationship. Dave was a tougher call. He generally seemed pretty cheerful. If he wasn't sleeping, he was keeping it to himself. He was probably too busy thinking of new interesting ways to throw himself at Kerry.

Doug snorted at the image that arose from that thought. He knew it wasn't funny, yet it amused him highly to watch Dave in his half-assed attempts to attract Kerry. The sad thing, he supposed, was that it was clear that both Dave and Kerry had affection for each other but it was going to take a lot to make something happen. He sensed it would happen... There was a long time until spring. Dave was persistent. Doug hoped it happened sooner than later. It was getting hard to pretend not to notice.

Luka joined Jeanie and Taris and Doug watched them, growing more depressed. He didn't begrudge the man any happiness, but it hurt just the same. He wanted a family, and he had realized it too late. That he would have still ended up grieving meant very little. Luka was lucky. He was getting a second chance, and what struck Doug was how tired the man looked. Unlike Jeanie, Luka looked very tired and worried. It was hard to fathom, but Doug didn't try. If Luka was worried about something, well not only was that his right, there was certainly plenty to get worried about.

Doug didn't think they needed to stress out over the potential problems to the point of no return. That was Kerry's function. They also didn't need to completely ignore the ramifications of being snowed in the way Carter was either. He didn't think there was any need to panic, but he did think they needed to make sure about a few things. Like making sure there was enough food in the house. Sure the pantry was pretty full but with eight people eating, it wasn't going to last forever. The jeep and the trucks were four wheel drive so they weren't trapped but with no snow plows, it would be damn hard to go anywhere. If there were bad snow storms, they would be screwed. It might not be a bad idea to make sure there was plenty of supplies. He also didn't know how long the power would last. It was a nice house, but it was a big house. The fireplace would warm the large living room a bit, but if they lost central heating, it would be a very cold winter

Then there was the boredom factor. He wasn't one to read and talking had lost its entertainment value long ago. They weren't a group that talked anyway. What most of them were was workaholics and with no twelve hour shifts to work, things were going to get ugly. They weren't very cheerful people to begin with. Being locked in the house for five to six months was not going to help. If the power went out, they wouldn't even have the mind numbing salve of movies.

I could go for some mind numbing, he decided. A little tv, maybe a movie with gory violence, and a little microwave popcorn. If he wasn't making a point of not drinking, a beer would have been nice. He resisted the temptation. He thought he could do it, just have one to relax, but it would worry everyone and he didn't want the lecture that it would prompt. He settled for a cold Pepsi.

No one was in the large living room. He wasn't surprised at all. It was a nice day. Kerry had made an early morning excursion into town with Taris, bringing back a variety of things. She was out on the porch attempting to put together some sort of science lab for Taris. He didn't know what it was, and he really didn't want to. He had no doubt that she was plotting to educate the poor kid. He wasn't opposed to education but he didn't think they needed to cram it down the girl. She was eight. Summer vacation hadn't exactly been a treat this year.

Dave, of course, was trying to help Kerry. Randi and Carter had gone into town to find clothes, or perhaps just find a new place to have sex. He wasn't sure where Lucy was. Probably hiding up in her room, he decided. She was getting better, or at least she seemed better. He had seen Randi and her working out, doing some sort of self defense type moves. It seemed to involve a lot of shouting and throwing. It didn't seem terribly useful but exercise made people feel better so he figured it must be doing some good.

I should probably exercise more, he thought as he browsed the movie collection. He didn't feel fit. God knows he wasn't getting fat. Between the stress of the summer and the fact that he drank most of his meals, he was getting thin. Skinny almost. He wasn't the only one either. No one looked like they had a healthy shape. Exercise had been a lost cause and he suspected that the stress from the dreams kept everyone tense and incapable of much other than irritable conversation.

For now, he decided, I want to watch some dead people tell an improbable story involving explosives and perhaps a guest appearance by Kevin Costner. He put the movie in the player and settled back. In minutes, he found himself watching a wetsuit clad Kevin Costner pee into a cup and then drink it.

" The movie doesn't get any better." He looked around, startled to find Lucy standing right behind him. She pointed to the screen. " This movie was a lot better when it starred Mel Gibson and was called The Road Warrior." She sat down on the edge of the couch.

" It doesn't seem very good," he admitted. " I was just bored." No need to mention that what he really wanted, craved even more than a drink, was just a simple, calm afternoon. Lucy watched the television a moment and slowly relaxed. Unlike everyone else, Lucy had been making a point of talking to him. The others seemed to be using the " let's not discuss it and maybe the problem will disappear" tactic that had worked so well with Kerry. He wondered when they would all get the idea that their favorite tactic didn't work very well. It wasn't working that well with Lucy either, from what he could see. " If you want to watch something else, that's fine."

" No, this is fine." It really wasn't fine, the movie was surprisingly boring, but Lucy seemed to be enjoying herself. At least she seemed relaxed. He set the popcorn between them, and was pleasantly surprised to see her move a little closer to him. It hadn't escaped him that she was avoiding physical contact with the men. She had notably flinched away from Carter at breakfast and Doug considered Carter a perfect gentlemen.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. With her hair pulled back in a pony tail, she looked very young but he could see a certain maturity there, a maturity that hadn't been there before. He didn't like the reason for it, but the look suited her. She looked like a young woman that had seen and done things, a woman that had suffered and come through it. Changed and scarred perhaps, but stronger for it. She really was a pretty woman, he thought suddenly. It was probably a good thing for her that they were stuck. She probably needed the time to recuperate.

" Are you cold?" Lucy asked. She crossed her arms. " I feel cold."

" It is a little chilly," he agreed. " We could start a fire if you want." He supposed they could also turn on the heat but he wasn't sure where the switch was. It also made him feel wasteful. It wasn't freezing, just chilly and turning on the heat seemed excessive.

" No, the fireplace is too far away." Lucy got up and walked into the main living room area. She grabbed one of the many indian blankets that were on display. She returned, and sat down much closer to him. Then she draped the blanket around the both of them. She looked at him. " You said you were cold right?"

" Yes, but I thought..." He thought she might not want to be that close, but as she curled up closer to him, he realized she was almost craving physical contact. It felt good too, he thought as he let his arm drape around her shoulders, to connect with someone on a physical level. He hadn't had any real contact with a human being in months. He didn't count what happened with Kerry. That had been a lapse, two desperate needy people reaching out in a moment of crisis. This was different.

" Doug? " Lucy said softly. " Can I tell you something? I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

" Sure..." He gently squeezed her, sensing she needed reassurance.

" I just... I feel very safe with you. Like you won't hurt me." She seemed to relax in his hold.

He chuckled a little. " You know, there is no wrong way to interpret that, but thanks."

She was quiet for a long moment. " Doug, can I tell you something else?"

" Sure." Again he chuckled, but he was starting to feel nervous. " What is it?"

" This movie is absolutely awful."



Part 50
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