ER/Stand Crossover




It was pretty late to be up, but Dave found that he couldn't sleep. He wasn't having nightmares, not exactly, but as the weeks had worn on he had felt a certain stress creep up on him. Lately he had been tossing and turning every night. He didn't know what it was. He tried not to let it get to him but he kept having an uneasy queasy feeling that something was going to happen. He didn't know what it was, but it wasn't going to be good.

He shivered a little as he stepped into the hallway. Someone usually turned the heat down at night. He assumed it was one of the energy conscious sorts like Doug or Luka. Once he had realized that the electricity was coming from a small hydroelectric plant that was actually on site and that Carter knew how to fix it if it broke, he had stopped worrying about power wastage. He supposed that old habits died hard and several of his compatriots had come of age during the energy crisis. He didn't mind the chill in the air while he was in bed, but walking around the house at three in the morning wearing nothing but boxers was a bit cold. Still, for a quick trip down to the kitchen, he didn't mind.

One of the cats was in the hallway, looking forlorn. He picked up the little striped cat and held it as he walked down the hallway. He liked cats, and he was a sucker for a kitten looking lonely, especially tiger striped kittens. " Taris should have named you Tiger, not Mart," he said to the cat. He peeked into Taris's room, to make sure she was fine. She was curled up in bed, surrounded by a mass of stuffed animals. He worried about the kid, he really did. There was something unnatural about a little girl not having any playmates. He felt bad for her, with nothing but overeducated adults around.

He moved down the hallway and stopped at Kerry's door. He knew she wouldn't appreciate him looking in on her, but he opened the door anyway. So we're not sleeping together, he thought, but I think we're pretty good friends. I have a right to worry and check on her. In the last month, he thought he'd been doing a pretty job at being a friend. He didn't push and he didn't press, even though it was pretty clear that something had both Kerry and Luka on edge. He suspected it had something to do with Randi's pregnancy. If it was possible, they paid her more attention than Carter did and Carter hung around Randi like a mother hen.

At first, he thought everything was all right. Then he realized that Kerry was in fact almost shaking as she lay curled around a large pillow. She was murmuring something that he couldn't make out much other than "stop" and "no". He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't like nightmares but some people woke up badly and Kerry seemed that sort. On the other hand, he could see beads of sweat dotting her forehead and her knuckles were white from clenching the pillow. Might as well wake her up, he decided. He reached down and gently touched her. " Kerry, you need to wake up."

She opened her eyes and let out her breath as if she had been holding it. It wasn't clear whether she was actually was awake or not so he touched her again. " Kerry? You were having a bad dream."

" A bad dream..." She drew herself up into a seated position, leaning against the headboard. She took a deep breath. " I don't even remember it."

" Well you look like you just ran a marathon." He stepped closer. It was more than a little awkward. " Are you ok?"

" I think so... " She looked him over. " Aren't you cold? Why are you up?"

" I just couldn't sleep. And it is a little cold. " He shivered suddenly. It was cold and his arms were covered with goosebumps. Kerry eyed him for a moment and then moved over. She patted the now vacant spot.

" Come on..." She patted the bed again, looking exasperated. " Get in bed. Its too cold for you to be standing there. You want to talk, right?" He nodded dumbly. " Do you want to freeze? Get under the covers then." She paused, then she sighed. " This isn't an invitation to have sex. I just don't want you to catch cold."

It wasn't quite what he had hoped but he quickly scooted under the covers. It *was* cold and while he didn't really want to talk, he didn't really want to freeze either. " What will people say, chief?"

" They'll wonder why I didn't just make you put on a robe." She pulled the covers around them both. He could her feel her shaking and instinctively he put his arm around her. For a second, he could feel her pull back, but then she relaxed. " We shouldn't be doing this..."

" Why not?" He shifted a little so he could look her in the eye. " I like you. You like me. We're both adults. Its not like anyone here would be against it. Hell, Randi has a pool on when we start shacking up."

" And I imagine that's exactly how she phrased it," Kerry muttered dryly.

" Is it that you don't want me?" He had wondered and it seemed like a good time to find out. He felt something from her, he had since they met, but she kept pushing him away. At the same time, she did things like giving him gifts and spending time with him... It was definitely mixed signals time.

She hesitated. " We're all stuck here until spring. You're a young, handsome, educated man. Maybe... maybe I think you should see what's available before you tie yourself down." Again she hesitated, " It's not that I don't want you. I... I do want you."

" And I want you, and I don't want to wait until spring to prove it to you." He had wondered, considering some of the comments of the others, if she was suffering from some sort of post traumatic stress. She had been raped. Now he could see that it was some sort of deep seated insecurity. " Why do you think I'd want to be with someone else? You're beautiful and smart... a good cook. What more could I want?"

" I could be your mother. On a good day, I can barely get around and that won't get better with time. I wouldn't be alive if there weren't other people around me. You could do better." He could feel her tense up. It was a painful admission, that he knew.

" Ok, " he said softly. " How about we look at this logically? You're only twelve years older than me so unless you were raised as a hillbilly, you're not old enough to be my mom. Women outlive men anyway, so we're at about the right age anyway. I know you don't get around that well, but that doesn't seem to keep you from much. Its not a turn off. As for the last thing..." He chuckled. " You realize right, that my first memory of you is you saving my butt? Literally and figuratively?" He waited a moment, until she nodded. " Now... I admit, I'm not a pillar of maturity, but I am old enough to make my own choices. I want to be with you. I don't need to scout out a bunch of other women to know that. You worry too much, Kerry."

" Its not that simple," she said. Still, he sensed he had broken the wall she had surrounded herself with. Underneath the cool, often harsh exterior, she was insecure and afraid of being rejected. Is this what you really want, he asked himself, because if its not, you're really going to hurt her.

Yes, he thought with a smile, this is what I want. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear," It is that simple. I want to be with you. I will go as slow or as fast as you like, but I want to be with you." He kissed her. She pulled him closer, and returned the kiss. After a moment, he realized that she was ready for more than just a kiss. "I have to ask," he said, grinning, " why didn't you just ask me to put a robe on, chief?"

She grinned, and he suddenly saw just how playful she could be. " I hoped it would end up like this." She ran her hands down his chest. " You know, Randi told me about this warrior princess fantasy thing she does with Carter..."

" Randi is pretty smart about things like that."

" You're not allowed to look at her by the way."

" I don't think I'll need to."

At first, he didn't think anything of it. Some women liked to run off and shower, and they had been lying in each others arms for a while. After a moment though, he realized that the sound coming from the bathroom was most definitely not water running. He lifted his head and listened carefully. Yes, he thought with a sigh, she *is* throwing up. That's a rave review.

He got up, glancing at the rolex propped up on the night stand. It was only four thirty in the morning. He walked over to the door and tapped on it. " Kerry, you ok?"

" Yeah..." she said after a moment. " Give me a few minutes, ok?" He could hear her unwrapping something from cellophane and moving things around.

" You need anything? Peptobismal maybe?"

" No... no... just give me a few minutes."

He went back to the bed, hoping whatever it was hadn't been a direct result of what they had just done. He didn't think it was. She certainly seemed to have enjoyed it. After about twenty minutes, Kerry came out, wearing a robe and looking pale. She down at the edge of the bed.

" Dave, I think we need to talk. What I'm about to say doesn't change how I feel about you." She took a deep breath. " I've been getting sick a lot lately. I just took a test. I'm pregnant."

He grinned. " That was quick. My dad always said that the Malucci sperm were pretty special, but I guess its true. "

She glowered at him. " Obviously its not your child." Her irritation was so blatantly a cover, he almost smirked. Instead though, he sat up and put his arm around her.

" Ok, " he said pleasantly, " I know its not mine, but I can't really change that. It doesn't change anything between us." In his heart, he knew that was the truth. " Do you want this baby? Considering.... you know, that he raped you?"

She looked at him with surprise. Then she looked down at her feet and chuckled. " Oh god, Dave... It can't be *his* baby. I'd be five months along. I'd be showing. Besides, I had my period a few times since then..." She wiped her eyes, and Dave couldn't tell if it was because she was upset or just finding the situation too funny. " It's someone else... and yes, I want to keep it. I don't know how... how he'll feel about it, but I want this baby." She chuckled again. " This really isn't how I imagined becoming a mother."

He decided to take a stab at it. " It's Doug's, isn't it?"

She nodded. " How did you know?"

" Randi would have torn your eyes out if she caught you with Carter. Luka is too saintly. Besides, " he just couldn't resist it, " I heard you and Doug having sex."

" What?"

" You know... you were both out on the porch? I think you'd both been drinking. You're very energetic, you know," Dave said, trying desperately not to laugh at her sudden blush. " You are going to tell him, right? Because he might not believe that its mine. I mean, if you don't want to tell him, I certainly won't but..."

She laughed again. " I have to tell him." Her eyes twinkled with amusement. " I honestly don't think I could keep it a secret. Besides, I can finally get even for all of his little cracks he's made this summer. I think being pregnant with his child would put me one up, don't you?"

" Promise me, chief, that you'll take a picture when you tell him."



Part 52
Fanfiction Home