ER/Stand Crossover




Lucy slowly awoke from her dream. It had been a pleasant dream, if a little odd for her. She had dreamed of walking through a large, verdant green cornfield. After a time, she had found herself standing in front of a small farmhouse. An old black woman had been on the porch, strumming a guitar. It had felt strangely right to be there, even though she knew she had never been even close to a farm in her life. It was in Nebraska, she thought as she dressed. She wasn't sure how she knew that but she did. It made her feel better, even though she knew she had no rational reason for it. I probably just needed the sleep, she thought. Still, the image hung in her mind as she headed for the stairwell down to the first floor.

The pleasant scent of sausage and coffee struck her as she stepped into the living room. She noted as she walked towards the kitchen that Dr. Ross was curled in a ball on the floor, asleep. Not Dr. Ross, she reminded herself, Doug. It felt strange. More than strange, it was wrong. She wondered, as she watched him clench his fists in his sleep, whether to wake him up or not. After a moment, she decided against it. He was going to be hung over and his mood hadn't been that good when he was drunk. It was probably better to let him sleep, even if he did seem to be having a bad dream.

" Lucy." Lucy turned at the sound of Jeanie's voice. Jeanie strode into the room, her expression concerned. She looked as though she had hurriedly dressed and done little more than finger comb her hair. She looked around the large room before she returned her attention to Lucy. " I just woke up. Kerry wasn't in the room. Have you seen her?"

" Um... no." Lucy forced her sudden panic down. Dr. Weaver was hardly able to run off even with her crutch, and as for her psychotic episode, it was just that, an episode. She had overreacted, she could admit that. It had just been... surprising. Shocking to see something that violent. Not that she had any regrets, oh no. Grazed or not, her arm hurt. Walker had tried to kill her. Whether Dr. Weaver had been in her right mind was almost moot. When push came to shove, it had been the only way. Walker had been sick and mentally disturbed. He would have killed them all, and for nothing. Lucy couldn't find it in her heart to judge when she had wished the man dead herself. She brought herself back to the present. Jeanie was looking almost frantic. " She can't have gone far. Let's check the kitchen." Because I'm hungry, she almost added, and I;m not running off on a search without something to eat.

Jeanie nodded after a moment. " Kerry likes to cook." They walked through the wide double doors together. The large kitchen was filled with warm smells and Randi was sitting at the table, plowing her way through a large stack of blueberry pancakes and thumbing through a cheap mystery novel.

" Hey," Randi said brightly. " There's pancakes in the oven and sausage on the stove. They are really good." She gestured to the stove as she spoke.

" Have you seen Dr. Weaver?" Lucy asked quickly. She started to edge towards the stove. The pancakes smelled delicious and she was suddenly hungry.

" She made all the food. She's sitting out on the porch with a cup of coffee." Randi looked the two of them over. It was as if she suddenly realized something. " She's not acting mental. She's a little upset over what happened but she seems fine."

Jeanie lost her worried look but only for a moment. " She told you what happened? Everything?" She was surprised, Lucy could tell.

Randi shook her head. " She doesn't remember the last couple of days. I told her what happened. She seemed ok with it. She also said she was ok with us calling her by her first name." The last was said nonchalantly and Randi returned to her book.

" You told her what happened? " Jeanie shook her head. Lucy questioned Randi's judgement too. She hadn't done her psych rotation but she did have a few psychology courses under her belt. Not remembering a horrible act was the nice way of saying repressed memories.

Randi rolled her eyes and glared at them both. " What? We're gonna pretend she didn't shoot that prick? That nothing happened? Yeah right. I know that Kovac guy packed a ton of the good psycho drugs. You planning on giving her Prozac or Thorazine without telling her why? Like that'd work."

It was a good point, Lucy realized. It wasn't like they could lie about what the medication was. Dr. Weaver would know what it was for and demand to know why. They would still have to tell her. They certainly didn't have the resources for psychiatric care so extended counseling to get to the bottom of why she did it was out. It was possible that Randi's approach had been best. " Did she seem ok otherwise? "

" She was upset." Randi spoke curtly. She gestured to the porch door. " She's out there. She's been sitting out there for a half hour. " She shrugged. " She didn't seem to have any sharp objects."

" That's not funny, " Jeanie said. " She could be suicidal. She shot and killed a man yesterday."

" And maybe the more we harp on that, the more suicidal she might get, " Randi snapped. She took a deep breath. " I'm sorry if you had some sort of special bonding moment arranged around telling her. I know you're friends, and you probably would have done a better job than me, but I did what I thought was best. She seemed ok with it."

For a long moment, Lucy wasn't sure what would happen. Jeanie was pissed off, to put it mildly. The pretty black woman had an uncharacteristic expression of anger on her face. Finally though, she sat down at the table as if suddenly exhausted. " It's over and done with." She sighed. " Are there any pancakes left?"

Randi smiled slightly. " There's so many pancakes. Someone over did it big time. I think there's like three pounds of sausage too. Its all in the warming oven. I'll get you a plate." Randi grabbed two plates and went to the stove. The warm scent of breakfast made Lucy aware of how hungry she was. It had been a long time since dinner the night before and she was honest enough to admit that her sandwiches had not been particularly impressive. The pancakes and fresh muffins smelled delightful. More to the point, she hadn't eaten a real meal in over ten days. Jeanie was in the same boat.

Jeanie's watch beeped and Jeanie looked at it in surprise. " Dammit, " she muttered. " I haven't taken my medication in days. Do either of you remember where Kovac dumped the medical bags?"

" I think he put them in his bedroom upstairs," Lucy said. She had sensed that the quiet foreign doctor had been worried about people, Dr. Ross in particular, doing something self destructive. Since he couldn't hide the liquor, he had taken the drug bag. She knew that Jeanie was torn between getting her meds and checking on Dr. Weaver. " Listen, why don't you get the medical bag and I'll check on Dr. Weaver."

Jeanie looked at the porch door and then at her watch. " I really need to get my meds...." Both Lucy and Randi made shooing motions at her, and Jeanie left. Lucy went over to the stove, and eyed the fresh muffins. It would be the decent thing to do to actually walk out onto the porch and check on Dr. Weaver, rather than just assume that she was all right.

She put a few of the muffins on a plate and stepped out onto the porch. Dr. Weaver was sitting in one of the wicker chairs, holding a nearly empty coffee mug. She had the look of someone that had taken a bad shock. She also didn't seem to notice that anyone had joined her. " Dr. Weaver?"

Kerry looked at her. To Lucy, she didn't look quite right. She looked tired, tired and pained. She also didn't seem terribly interested to see anyone. That seemed more than a little strange. " Lucy." She spoke the name slowly, as if it had taken a moment or two to register.

" I thought you might want a muffin." Lucy said hesitantly. It was creepy, and disturbing to get so little reaction from the woman. She set the plate of muffins on the small wicker table that was next to the chair. " Would you like some more coffee? There's a lot of pancakes and sausage left too."

Kerry looked at the muffins with little interest but perked up a little at the mention of more coffee. " More coffee would be nice, thank you." It wasn't quite spoken in a monotone, but her tone was lifeless and dull.

Lucy poured her a cup, noting that the older woman's hands shook ever so slightly. She supposed that things could be worse. Calm, depressed and mildly unresponsive was a lot easier to deal with than wild, hallucinating and violent behavior. Not that the situation was wonderful but she thought that at least one problem was solved. A calm, if depressed and unresponsive, Dr. Weaver wasn't likely to act out violently. Of course, Lucy thought suddenly, the only basis I have for that assessment is a few psych classes and hope. What the heck, she decided suddenly, most of humanity died this week. Hope isn't going to hurt anything. " Do you want to talk or something?"

After a long moment, Kerry shook her head. " No, I'm fine."

That was the response Lucy had expected. Dr. Ross's remark the night before hadn't been very funny, but it was true. " You know, you don't look fine."

" You know, I don't recall asking your opinion." That was said with some snap, but no where close to what Lucy knew the woman was capable of. Kerry glared at her, but it was half hearted at best. Lucy sensed she was barking more out of habit than anything else. She sipped her coffee again. " I'm not in a good mood, Lucy. I want you to leave me alone for a while. "

Do I want to press her, Lucy asked. No, not without some breakfast first. And not without back up. It's a little too early and I'm too hungry to try playing shrink. It was probably a job better left to Jeanie or Carter anyway. " We'll be in the kitchen, if you need anything."

She re-entered the kitchen and went right to the stove. She was hungry and she wanted something to eat before the men got up and dove on the hot food. Three guys and four girls, she mused as she took a seat, that might not be a good thing. Certainly there more people alive. They had seen a teen age boy running through the streets the day before, and there had to be more survivors out there. She wondered suddenly about her mother, and her long absent father. Tears came to her eyes but she blinked them away. There was no use crying, she told herself. She concentrated on the food. Jeanie was also eating and Randi seemed to be slowing down. She was still thumbing through her book and drinking coffee. Jeanie wasn't looking quite so nonchalant but she did seem a little less tense.

" Is Kerry all right?" Jeanie asked as she dug into her own plate of food. Like everyone else evidently, Jeanie was hungry. " I saw you two talking but I didn't want to interrupt."

" She said she wanted to be alone." Lucy said as she poured syrup on the pancakes. " She seemed pretty um.... unresponsive and tense. You know, wound up."

" Dr. Weaver tense and wound up, there's something I've *never* seen before." Randi drawled.

" That's not funny, Randi." Both Lucy and Jeanie said it at the same time. Randi started laughing.

" Ok, maybe what I said wasn't funny, but that sure was." Randi said while chortling. Lucy gave up and smiled too. It wasn't terribly humorous, none of it, but she sensed that she couldn't maintain a grim facade for very long. They were alive after all. They weren't going to die of the flu. Life was going to move on whether they wanted it to or not.

There was sudden noise in the next room. Jeanie looked up, a worried expression on her face. " I'm willing to bet that's Doug. He's not going to wake up happy."

" Not after spending the entire day piss drunk." Randi added.

At that moment, Doug staggered into the kitchen. He had a hand to his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked, Lucy thought suddenly, like a man devastated by loss. She felt bad for him, more so than for anyone else in their small group. No one else, to her knowledge, had a long time partner the way he did. He and Carol had been together for a long time, even if they never had married and she certainly couldn't find much fault in that. Her own mother hadn't even bothered to maintain contact with her father. Doug and Carol's relationship was stable by comparison. Doug made his way to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down at the table with them and looked at the plates of food. " If I felt better, that would look really good."

Lucy bit her tongue. She had decided to be tolerant with the drinking, at least for a few days. The man was grieving. She was willing to forgive it for a while. From the looks that Randi and Jeanie had, it looked like that was the position they were going to take too.

" There's a lot of food here," Jeanie said after a moment. " I could make you some toast."

" How about a bloody mary?" He said it with a chuckle, but Lucy suspected he was only semi-joking.

" Cocktail hour isn't until five." Randi said. " I think I saw some tomato juice though." She stood up and went to the refrigerator. Lucy was surprised at her low key attitude. Randi generally wasn't a particularly helpful person at work. Well, she reasoned, we're not at work, and maybe she's trying to keep things stable. It wasn't exactly a normal morning for any of them.

" Excuse me." Lucy turned her head in surprise at the sound of Dr. Weaver's voice. The older woman stepped into the kitchen, limping a bit worse than normal. Lucy could feel the tension rise almost immediately. Kerry still looked more than a little out of touch and emotionally tired. She moved closer to the table. " Do any of you know where the aspirin is? I'd like some aspirin. I have a headache." It was almost said in a monotone.

They all looked at each other. In a normal house, a house that didn't have over forty rooms, Lucy would expect to find aspirin in one of the kitchen cabinets, where her mother had kept it. In the giant, cabinet filled kitchen of the Carter home, she suspected it would be a wild goose chase. They all looked at each other, as if that would will a bottle of aspirin to appear on the table.

Kerry looked at them impatiently. " Is there no aspirin? Tylonel would be fine."

Lucy dove on that. " I put some Tylonel with codeine in the drug bag. There's some Vicodin too. We put a lot of painkillers in there. I'm sure we put some of the milder stuff in there." And if she had been beat down the way Doug and Jeanie had implied, something a little heavier might not be a bad idea.

" Where is this bag?" Kerry asked as she started limping towards the living room door.

Jeanie rose to her feet. " Its upstairs, the first bedroom on the right but I'll get it for you."

Kerry waived her back down. " I'm not helpless, " she said irritably. " And you're eating. You should finish while breakfast is hot. I'll find the aspirin." With that, she left the room.

They sat in silence for a long moment. " Did she eat today?" Jeanie asked suddenly.

" She had a big plate of pancakes and sausage." Randi said quickly. She set a glass of tomato juice down in front of Doug. " I made sure she ate before I told her anything." That was said with her usual pique. Lucy suspected she was still mad over what Jeanie had implied earlier, that telling Kerry what happened might not have been a good idea. Her own opinion on that was still up in the air.

Doug picked up the glass of juice. He smiled wryly. " Are we sure its such a good idea to let Dr. Demento there self medicate? I don't think she's handling things well."

" Well, we did let Dr. Drunk Off His Ass self medicate last night." Randi retorted.

" Touche," Doug said with a chuckle.

" Doug, she doesn't remember what happened." Jeanie said as she poured more maple syrup on her pancakes. " Randi told her. Just judging by how she slept for almost twenty hours, I think what happened was caused by exhaustion and stress. I really hope, " and her voice took on a sharp edge of coldness, " that you're going to remember the fact that we'd all be dead if she hadn't killed that man before you throw it in her face. "

" Yeah, " Randi said, her eyes twinkling, " and she's really good with a gun and she doesn't like you very much, Doug."

" That's enough, Randi." Jeanie spoke just as coldly. " If we can't joke about Dr. Weaver's rampage of killing, what can we joke about? Dr. Ross drinking Sterno?" Randi shot back.

" It was scotch, not Sterno." Doug said amiably. That elicited chuckled from Lucy and Randi, though Jeanie was still looking stern. It was at that moment that Carter walked in. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and his hair was wet. He was also clean shaven. He looked like a young man on his way to a fun day at the beach. Considering that the Carter mansion had lake front property, they probably could have a beach party.

" Dr. Weaver said she made blueberry pancakes." He trotted over to the stove and immediately began loading up a plate. " She looked pretty ragged out. She said she was looking for the drug bag. What did she want?"

" Aspirin." Lucy said helpfully.

Carter looked at them all with an odd expression. He opened the cabinet nearest the stove and withdrew a bottle of aspirin. " Why didn't you just let her have it instead of making her go upstairs for the drug bag? Did you tell her that Dr. Kovac was here? The drug bag is in his room. Did it cross anyone's mind that it might upset her to find some strange man here? Or that it might upset Dr. Kovac?" He looked at their blank faces. "Evidently not."


Kerry fumbled with the door handle for a moment before opening it. It was more than her head that hurt. She ached all over and the more she thought about everything, the worse she felt. She walked into the room, noting that there were two paramedic bags and a large hiker's rucksack. The bed had been slept in, and she could hear the shower running. It must be Carter, she mused as she went to the paramedic bags. One was filled with an assortment of bandages, tubing and various medical tools. The other was loaded to the brim with bottles of pills, jars of liquid medication and syringes. She found AZT, morphine, Prozac and codeine, but no aspirin. She could feel her frustration growing as she searched. She didn't want a heavy duty painkiller. She already felt like she was spiralling out of control. Drugs were only going to make it worse. I just want some damn aspirin, she thought angrily, and these idiots packed everything but. She picked up the last bottle, hoping it was the aspirin or at least regular Tylonel. It was Ritalin. She clenched it in her fist. What on earth were they thinking, she thought angrily, they don't bring aspirin but they *do* bring Ritalin?

" What are you doing?" She jumped at the sound. There was a man standing in the doorway to the bathroom, a man that was certainly not Carter. The dark haired, olive skinned man was wearing nothing but a towel. He seemed more surprised than upset. Rationally, she knew that he couldn't be a threat. There were five other people in the house and four of them were people that had good judgement. Her instincts were another story. She wanted to run, or at least back up. She held her ground though, and raised the hand that held the bottle of Ritalin.

" Who are you?" she asked harshly. He held up one of his hands, the other he kept grasped to the towel around his waist. He smiled slightly. She could tell he was trying to appease her. She didn't know if she wanted to buy it.

" I'm Luka Kovac. I'm not going to hurt you.... " He took a step closer. Her anxiety increased. He was a big man. He gestured to the drug bag. " Were you looking for something? Maybe some codeine?"

" I don't want any codeine. I just... I just want some aspirin." Not only was he making her nervous, she was starting to get mad. He was pleasant enough but he seemed to think she was drug hunting and it made her angry. " What are you doing here?"

" Please stay calm, Dr. Weaver." His accent seemed more pronounced. He took another step towards her. She backed up. She was painfully conscious of the fact that even if she got out of the room, he could be at her in a matter of seconds.

" Stay back!" she warned. " Don't come any closer! " She was panicking and she knew it, but she simply couldn't stop it. A strange wave of deja vu ran through her and it added to her panic. I have to get out of here, she decided as a fresh bolt of fear hit her. She whipped the bottle of ritalin at Kovac. It struck him in the head. He dropped to his knees, clutching his forehead. She spun around, to exit the room as fast as she could. And ran right into Carter. He smiled as he caught her, and put his arm around her shoulders. " I see you've met Dr. Kovac." He held up a bottle of aspirin in his free hand. " I guess you both could use some now."



Part 9
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