AUTHOR: Carrie L Verkman
SPOILERS: Well pretty much every episode that had ANY of these characters in it.
DISCLAIMER: I could never bring back characters as well as the producers, so that's why I'm writing this instead.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Just thought this would be funny that's all.
SUMMARY: Susan Lewis starts a trend when she comes back to the ER. See who shows up!
Susan Lewis looked around the ER. So much had changed since she left. Everything at the admit desk was different, the lounge had changed a little, and Kerry still had that alpha-bitch attending attitude hanging over her head.
"Susan, it's so great to have you back!" Mark said, handing her the old lab coat she used to wear. "We really needed doctors."
"Thanks Mark! You know, it feels like I've never left." Susan explained. "I just hope people haven't forgotten me or have started to hate me since I left this place years ago."
"I doubt it." Mark said. He scratched his head. "Funny. I feel weird. I better go up for a head CT stat!" Mark ran off to radiology.
Susan smiled and took a deep breath. "Ah, it's great to be back!"
Just then Elizabeth Corday came up holding her daughter Ella. She sneered at Susan.
"Hi, you must be Mark's wife!" Susan said cheerfully.
"Out of my way bitch!" Elizabeth said. "You can't come back to ruin my happy life! I've got a wonderful husband who cheated death and a lovely baby who almost died from ecstasy! Can't someone just give me a better story line?" Elizabeth walked of mumbling to herself. Susan just stood there confused.
"Storyline?" Susan asked herself. But she just shrugged and walked off to treat a patient.
Upon entering Exam Three, Susan met Abby Lockhart for the first time. "Hi, I'm Dr. Lewis, and you are?"
"Abby Lockhart." She said holding out her hand. "You must be the new girl."
"Well new-old.never mind." Susan said pulling on some gloves. "What do we have here?"
"A patient with diabetes." Abby said. "I already started an IV."
"Okay good. I'm going to get Dr. Kovac's opinion on this, it looks like he's treated her before. Oooh, is he that nice European doctor?" Susan asked.
Abby chuckled. "Yes he is."
"I'd love to get some of that!" Susan said with a hint of passion.
"Oh honey, you're not missing anything. I did'em and he's not that great of a lover." Abby announced nonchalantly.
"Why is that?" asked Susan.
"Let's just say the term "Little Luka" fits him well." Abby said laughing as she worked.
"Wow!" Susan said breathless. "This is a lot of information. I hate having to catch up on all this since I've been gone."
"No kidding, it sucks for the writers." Abby said. "I mean when I came here, I had to replace Julianna Margulies and that is not an easy task let me tell you."
"Writers?" Susan asked.
At the end of the day Susan had had enough. She was so tired after trying to catch up with everyone that her head was spinning. Oh well, at least she had a new boyfriend, John Carter himself!
"Susan, I don't know what it is, but I sure do love older women." Carter said. "I think it's great the producers had us hook up."
"What is this with the producers and the writers?" Susan asked.
"Girl, you should enjoy your little romance while it lasts, you're going to dump him anyway." Haleh said.
"What?" Susan threw a chart on the desk. "I'm so confused! I should have stayed and never left! Work here would be so much easier if all of the original staff was here and I would know what the hell is going on at this place!"
"Anyone call for a surgical consult?" asked Peter Benton, who walked into the ER. Cleo Finch was with him.
"Or a pediatrician?" Cleo asked.
"Hey it's you guys!" Carter said. "You're back too?"
"I guess." Cleo said. "We have to represent the African-American community in this place so no one has a tantrum about it. Sharif Atkins can't do this alone!"
"Sharif?" Susan asked.
"Gallant." Carter said.
"Right." Susan nodded nervously. "Hey, who's that on the bike?" Susan pointed to a man on a bike with a baby carrier on his back.
"Dr. Malucci, I told you that you were fired!" said Kerry.
"Malucci?" Susan wondered.
"Hey Chief. I want you to meet my baby, this rolled-up blanket." Dave said getting off his bike.
"But it's just a doll covered in blankets." Kerry said.
"Well the audience never knows the difference anyway. I'm here to work and support my child!" Dave put on a navy blue scrub top and walked off towards an exam room.
Just then Mark entered the ER again. "Guys I have bad news. I'm leaving the series."
"Oh that sucks." said Jing-Mei Chen. "How will you pull that off?"
"I mean I'm dying." said Mark. "So I guess I better run off to Hawaii and try to patch things up with my family. Toodles!" Mark grabbed Elizabeth, Ella, and Rachel and left the ER.
"Waaaaaahhhhhh!" Susan wailed. "Nooooo Mark can't die!"
"Mark died?" asked Carol Hathaway who walked in.
"When did this happen?" asked Doug Ross, right beside Carol.
"Like, five minutes ago." said Robert Romano. "Sad really."
"What the hell are you two doing here?" asked Susan, who gave Carol a hug. "I haven't seen you in forever!"
"Well Doug and I heard that you were hanging out so we decided to join the fun with our twin daughters Tess and Kate." Carol explained. "Besides, Doug has been the only one able to find work since we left."
"He looks like that guy from Ocean's 11!" Carter said.
"I am the guy from Ocean's 11!" Doug said. "My handsome good looks got me onto the big screen."
"Oh yeah." said Carter. "I think I saw that movie with Rena Trujillo."
"*Cough*-Pedophile-*Cough*." Abby said.
Carter ignored her and looked at Susan who had a bewildered look on her face. "What's wrong?"
"When I said I wanted the original staff back I wasn't expecting this." Susan said quietly.
"Well it can't be that bad now can it?" Carter asked.
"Hello Dr. Carter." said a young feminine voice.
"L-Lucy! No, it can't be!" Carter's face turned white. "But you're dead!"
"Yeah I know." Lucy said. She was wearing the same outfit she was stabbed in, but there was no blood on her. "Heaven is so boring! I was sick of talking to numerous patients that died here, you know Jodi O'Brien, Dennis Gant, those kind of people. I decided to bug you guys down here. By the way Dr. Carter, your brother Bobby says hi. Ooh, hey look it's Dr. Dave!" Lucy scampered off leaving Carter with his jaw dropped.
"Now you know how it feels!" Susan said. "This is ridiculous. Who the hell else could show up?"
Susan spoke too soon because Anna Del Amico, Shep the paramedic, and Jeanie Boulet walked in.
"What's up?" said Shep. "Hey Dr. Lewis! Carol, long time no see." Shep walked off and greeted the others as did Jeanie and Anna. Except Anna found Carter first.
"So do you think we would have made a cute couple?" asked Anna.
"Probably. But it's fun when the writers do things the fans don't like!" Carter and Anna slapped each other five and laughed.
With all the people huddling around the ER, Susan felt like she was home again, but she was still scared and confused about the whole writer thing.
Mark entered the ambulance bay doors. He was dressed in Hawaiian swim trunks and a t-shirt. He also was tan and carrying a surfboard. "Hi guys! Miss me?"
"Mark you just." Susan began.
"I know. I just died. But I had to come back for one last good-bye. Aw, you guys, you posted my letter!" Mark looked at the bulletin board. "Cool. Hey Lucy, sick of eternal bliss in Heaven already?"
"Yeah, tell me about it." Lucy said. "Oh Jodi O'Brien wants to talk to you, along with your mother and your father."
"Damn. Oh well." Mark decided to hang out in the ER. "Maybe I'll just stick around here for awhile."
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Susan asked. "Why is everyone showing up?"
"Because we felt like it." said Maggie Doyle.
"We need money." said Abby Keaton.
"We want publicity." said Maggie Wyzcenski. "And Emmy nominations."
"But what is this about all the writers?" asked Susan.
"Hey!" said a voice. It was a man that no one had ever seen before.
"Who are you?" asked Susan. "Carter's long lost half cousin or something?"
"No I'm John Wells, executive producer and writer." He shook Susan's hand. "I'm sorry, but sometimes my characters get a little out of hand."
John turned to the cast. "Hey now! All of you were written out of the show for a reason so get out of here! It's bad enough you left and we had to replace you all! Now go unless you want to star in a new show of mine that's a police, hospital daycare center crossover!"
Slowly one by one each person left. Susan relaxed a little when things started to get back to normal. "Whew. I feel much better now."
"Glad to hear it Sherry." John said. "I better get going."
"Sherry?" Susan asked.
Sherry Stringfield woke up sweaty and panting. She looked the clock on her nightstand; it was just around six am. Today was her first day back on the ER set for the taping of her first episode in five years. After her wild dream, Sherry was extremely nervous so she decided to call John Wells.
"John, are you sure I'm the only character coming back this season?" asked Sherry.
"Yes, why do you ask?" asked John.
"I just ran into some old friends from the show that's all." Sherry said.