RATING: PG14 (hey, if you can watch Titanic, you can read this.)
SPOILERS: Sorry, none.
ARCHIVE: Please please please email me!
DISCLAIMER: These are not my characters, they belong to NBC and Warner Bros. I wish they were mine, but their not. I'll have to deal with it...
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first one, give me a break!
SUMMARY: Carter and Abby find themselves together at last, but unfortunately there's still some lost heart in the triangle, Luka. But don't worry, true love is supposed to last forever. And it will.
He stood there silently, watching her. Her face was peaceful and relaxed. He could see all her curves under the covers, her gorgeous body. It was perfect. She turned over onto her back. He could now clearly see her beautiful breasts rise and fall with each breath. From the first time he had seen her, he longed to hold her, to feel her, to caress her, to kiss her, to never let her go. Now she was his. She was his angel, heaven sent. He knew he would love her until the day he died.
He looked at the clock, six-thirty. He wasn't on for another five hours. They had spent the whole day and night in each other's embrace. He looked once more at Abby, his Abby, still sleep. He climbed in under the covers, kissed her on the forehead, lied his naked body down next to her. Her skin was as soft as velvet. He put his head down next to her, and whispered to her, "I love you." He knew she wouldn't hear it, but it couldn't be said enough.
She woke up with the lighting and rain. She sat up careful, trying not to disturb Carter, who was asleep next to her. She had yearned for true love all her life. Richard meant nothing to her anymore, but she couldn't say the same for Luka. Ever since she and Carter had started dating, Luka had been nothing more than supportive, but she knew he was unhappy. A part of her still belonged to him, like every relationship that failed. She still loved him, the same twisted way she still loved Richard. But Carter was different from the rest, he was there no matter what. The love they shared was real, deep, passionate. She loved him, he loved her. The nights they spent together seemed to go on forever. She could finally say she was happy.
Carter arose to find Abby sitting up, looking out at space. She was thinking, about him he hoped. Before he knew what he was doing, he slipped under the covers, and pulled a surprised Abby down with him. He kissed her, once again. He couldn't get enough of her. He started on her neck, then moved to her lips, then back down to her neck, moving down to her breast, which was now hard. He sucked slowly, allowing her to enjoy it. He heard her giggle, and knew he was doing it right. She then decided to have her share of the fun and Carter knew that. She started to play with him, and use her tongue in these wild games. It drove him insane, the way she could get him to full term in a matter of seconds. She would, then he would. Then Carter stopped, grabbed her in his arms, and held her, held her like she would slip away if he left go.
"Abby, I love you."
" I love you too," was Abby's reply. And she meant it.
Abby got up, and started to dress. She watched Carter watch her. He had such a sparkle in his eye when he looked at her. She had a feeling of security, nothing bad would ever happen to her with him. She walked into the bathroom to see if she could find her shirt. She was sore and tired, but also happy. She longed for a night like last night forever. It was perfect, Carter was perfect. She heard Carter come in, and felt him embrace her into his arms. I love him, she thought to herself, I really love him.
Carter followed Abby into the bathroom, where he knew, she was looking for her clothes. They had come home from the AA meeting, and Abby was still excited. She was getting over her problem, one step at a time. He was happy for her, he was happy to be with her. He only had to kiss her once before she gave in. Last night was one of the best nights he's ever lived through. His life was finally complete. Abby's words interrupted his thoughts.
"Hey Carter, have you seen my shirt?"
"Umm, didn't we leave those on the couch?" He giggled as he answered.
"I need to check, stop laughing. I can't go to work looking like this!"
"You know they really don't need us today..." Carter taunted.
"I need the money, sorry Carter." she answered with a disappointed tone, which Carter knew was meant to make him happy, and it did.
As they walked out of Abby's apartment, Carter's arms were around Abby's shoulders, keeping her warm and safe. Abby liked the way Carter cuddled her, unlike Luka. She needed the warmth and security all the time, not just when they were in bed. They both got on the El, and waited for the stop, the whole while, people smiled at Carter and Abby, knowing that they were in love.
They walked the few blocks to County General Hospital. Carter noticed he was quite hungry, and remembered he hadn't eaten anything since last night.
"Abby, you want something to eat? I'm going to make a run to Doc Magoo's before my shift starts."
"Sure, get me a cheeseburger."
"Cheeseburger? I thought you hated them?"
"I do but I've had the strangest cravings lately."
"Okay, anything to drink?"
"No, there's coffee in the lounge. Thanks."
"Okay, see you inside."
Abby kissed him passionately on the lips, then let him go before they were both late. As she turned around she saw Luka standing in the doorway. He was just standing there, neither moving or talking. The first thing that popped into Abby's head was that he had seen us. He HAD seen us. Usually it would be a "Hi Abby!" or "Good Evening," but not this time. This time he had a hallowed out expression, sad and miserable. She didn't know what to say to him, how to react, so she just walked past him. It was probably the stupidest thing she could have done, but she didn't know any other way out. She needed to talk to him, she knew that. But she just didn't know how to tell him that she didn't love him the way she loves Carter.
Luka stood outside watching the traffic and people walk past. Just a few minutes ago he had seen Abby and Carter kiss. He saw his whole world shatter then. He still loved her. He wouldn't admit it, but the feelings were there. He hated to see her with him. He knew that he had been a real bastard towards her, and let her go so easily, but he didn't realize how he really felt back then. He then saw Carter walking towards the Hospital, holding a bag full of food, probably dinner. God did he hate Carter. Abby and he might have still been a couple if not for Carter. But Carter was so happy lately, but more so was Abby. She walked with a spring in her step. She seemed to smile more. She sparkled. All because of Carter. Maybe Carter wasn't so bad for her, but he still loved her. Luka realized Carter was standing in front of him, holding out a cup of coffee and a muffin.
"Here Luka, I heard you covered three shifts, so I thought you might like something to wake you up."
"No problem. See you inside."
Carter left Luka standing alone. Carter didn't have anything against Luka anymore. He couldn't stomach him when he was dating Abby. He made her so unhappy. She didn't deserve it. But then he realized why Luka was so miserable, he was scared to love again. His wife and children died, and Abby must have been his first real girlfriend since then. It must have been really hard on him, and he took it out on Abby. Lately, Luka and Abby seemed to be getting along better than usual. They were talking more, and actually laughing. Carter was happy for them. He was happy for everyone.
Abby had just changed into her scrubs and was about to begin working on a patient when she noticed Carter enter with her dinner. Then she realized she was starving. She ran over to Carter, grabbed her entree and kissed him quickly on the cheek. She ran over to the lounge to eat before anyone noticed she was on break even before she started working. As she was finishing her rushed dinner, Luka walked in and went to his locker to grab his spare stethoscope. She noticed he didn't even look at her. She thought that everything was okay between them lately. They were getting along, as friends. But now, he was totally ignoring her. What was wrong? She needed to find out.
"Luka, Luka what's wrong?"
"Then why are you ignoring me? You act like I'm not even here."
"I'm tired. I'm sorry, that's all."
"That's not good enough an excuse for me. I know you too well, something else is up."
Luka knew she was going to push him until she learned the truth, so she might as well know that he still loved her. But how would he tell her. His body took over, and before he knew it, the words came bustling out.
"Abby, I still love you. That's what's bothering me. I can't stand to see you with Carter. I know you two are in love, but I can't stand it."
Abby didn't know how to work these words through her brain, little more, her to make a sentence, yet the words still came shooting out.
"Luka, I still love you too, but not as much as I love Carter. He's the one I've always waited for. He's the one that makes my life worthwhile. "
Before Luka and Abby knew what was happening, Luka couldn't stand it anymore, he kissed her. He kissed her with such intensity, and she didn't pull away. She felt him getting hard, felt him being happy, but she couldn't dwell on it, she loved Carter. She was about to pull away when she heard the door slam. She looked up to see the back of Carter through the little window on the door. He had seen them. He had seen them kissing.
Carter ran up the stairs, tears in his eyes, to the roof of the hospital. He knew no one would find him there, and he needed time alone. He ran the scene through his head time and time again. That couldn't have been Abby and Luka. Abby had told him that she loved him, and only him. That it had been a bad dream, but it wasn't. He had seen that with his own eyes. He felt betrayed, hurt, and most of all, worthless. He poured his heart out to her, and she turned her back on him. This was like it always was. He was too sensitive, too easy to give in. But not anymore. He couldn't bare to think about Luka or Abby anymore. He still loved her with every grain of his being, but nothing would ever be the same again.
Luka realized what had happened, when Abby left him standing there, running after Carter. She didn't love him, she loved Carter. He just screwed up her life once more. He didn't deserve her. He never did. The realization of his stupid mistake finally began to sink in. He loved Abby, and if he truly loved her, he would have made sure she was happy, wether she was with him or not. Now, she's fighting to get her real love back, Carter.
Abby ran after Carter as fast as she could, but he was too fast, and ran in between incoming patients. She lost him in a split second. She was scared, worried, frightened, but most of all hurt. Hurt that Luka would try to break her and Carter up. That he would be so selfish. That he would rather like to see her unhappy, as long as he had her for the sex. She was sick of him. The thought of facing him again gave her a sick feeling. She kept on running around the ER, looking for a sign of Carter. Then she remembered, Carter always ran to Susan for advice. But where was she? Then Abby spotted her in Trauma Room 3. But no Carter, and Susan didn't have a clue where he could have gone. She gave up for the time being. She started up the stairs towards the roof. The view was beautiful, and she could be alone.
Carter felt betrayed and alone. He couldn't think straight. He wanted to jump over the edge and die. Die a slow miserable death. He didn't deserve to live. He didn't want to try, without Abby, his life had no meaning, no hope, no future, no love. Maybe he would finally see his brother, maybe he wouldn't. It didn't matter. Sometimes he wished he was the one with the Leukemia, and didn't have to go through his horrible life. He heard the door open and then shut again. He didn't even bother to look who it was.
Abby opened the door, and shut it behind her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She promised Carter she would quit, but she couldn't. She needed comfort. She needed to relax. She couldn't stop thinking about Carter. How she had betrayed him. How she didn't deserve him. How horrible she was. She sat down on the ledge, and looked down at the city. It was beautiful. It used to comfort her before, but not now, not ever again. She sat in silence. She leaned her back against the ledge, and looked at the stars. The stars were what Carter and her had shared the night before, now it was a distant memory. The tears started to flow uncontrollably. She couldn't handle it. She got up and looked over the edge, 20 stories would kill a person. Then she backed down and sat on the pipeline. That would hurt Carter even more. She was still crying, the tears were flowing without end. She felt worthless.
Carter tried to pull himself together. He really needed to get back to work. His heart was still aching, but he needed to get back to his devotion: medicine. Maybe saving a patient or two would help him get his life back together, and maybe even help him face Abby. His biggest worry was that Abby didn't want him anymore. That she never really loved him, just used that to get what she wanted from him. To get Luka jealous, then to get him back. He started walking towards the door, when he noticed a human figure, leaning on the pipeline, crying. He couldn't move, he was paralyzed. He knew it was Abby. The whole heartbroken feeling left his body, and the love he felt for her, the love she showed him, filled him again. He knew she was up there crying for him, because of him. He loved her more than life itself. He couldn't hurt her anymore. He didn't care what happened anymore. Luka was gone, the past. Only Abby was his future. He walked over to her, and put his hands around her, and wept.
Abby was feeling guilty, guilty for letting Luka get to her like that. She didn't love him the way she loved Carter, the passion was there, the love was really there, Carter was the one she wanted for the rest of her life, not Luka. Luka was heartless, cruel, and the cause of so much pain in her life. She wouldn't let it happen again. Then she felt the touch she yearned for all day. Two hands swept over her shoulders, brushed her breasts, and held her. Held her tightly, with a loving touch. It was Carter. He was crying, as she was. She couldn't stop, neither could he. She felt his hands around her. It gave her a sense of security and happiness. They stayed there for a while, rocking in each other's arms.
Carter forgave her. He loved her, and couldn't stay mad at her. He caused her to cry. She never cried, no matter how bad it might be. She was strong, and now she's in his arms, crying like the child she never got to be. Years flowed out of her, dreams and despairs, years of wanting to, and never letting it out, fear that her mother might see her, or her brother might give up hope. She let it all out in Carter's arms. She was home. He loved her. He pictured her having his kids, being with her day and night, growing old together. The words, after then, in between tears, flowed out by themselves...
"Abby, I love you. I love you forever and always, and I'll never let you go, you understand? Never. Your in my heart for eternity. I'll always be there when you need me. When you think you don't have a friend in the world, or you've given up on the world, I'll be there. I want to be there for you, if you let me. Abby, please, I love you, marry me?"
Abby was shocked with what she was hearing, but it was what she wanted to hear for ages. She was now feeling even more guilty for what happened with Luka. She loved him, but that was back then. He didn't love her the way Carter did. She loved him. She didn't think twice about anything. She wanted to be with him, forever.
Carter and Abby embraced each other in one passionate kiss, when Susan walked up to the roof. Susan saw the weeping couple in each other's arms, and figured out that they had made up. Susan was happy for Carter. They deserved to be together. She loved Carter, but was happy. Happy that he was happy. Luka, on the other hand, was still in love with Abby, but had no choice but to give up. He lost her, and he felt he'd never love again.