When the Angels Call...The Last Dance

AUTHOR: Carly
EMAIL: CarlySwan@aol.com OR satans_righthand_gal@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: LKn
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: n/a
DISCLAIMER: Y'all should know (unless you're really dense) that I don't own these characters. Yeah, OK, I think that's about all.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I have been having major inspiration all over this week and started countless new fics! However, I will finish my others and this is a one chapter thing so just r/r! If not, I'll, um, I'll...... Sick a big rabbit on you! Actually, I have no idea if you review or not, but if you find a rabbit eating your carrots, it's your own fault!
SUMMARY: What if Lucy and Carter's fates were switched... accidentally. An interesting story with a not-so-happy ending.



I was standing by your grave when I first heard them. I remember it so clearly now. They couldn't fix their mistake; they couldn't bring you back. But they called to me anyway. They could fix that part of their mistake. I heard their voices like whispers echoing so softly in the cemetery little less than the wind. Dr. Weaver kept telling me it was all in my head, but I knew it was real, though no others heard it. Did you see me there, John? Standing by your grave? Listening to the Fates' sad songs? We all miss you, but I feel I do most of all. Because though others think I'm only blaming myself, I know it was I who should have died that night. No, I don't *think* it should have been me, I know it was my fate. And yet, something went wrong. Probably a few misunderstood words in the message between God and the Angels. Because they took you when they were supposed to take me. I grew older, stronger, as the years past, trying hard to get over the loss. I'm a doctor now, you know, finally. But no matter how strong I became, there was still a weakness, a two wounds, deep inside of me that would never heal. Physically, because of the stabbing, some of my injuries would probably never heal. But there was one wound the knife didn't even create. A wound that goes deeper than physical pain. A sharp pain in my chest, right above my left lung in my heart. It was that pain that nearly got me in trouble. I began to take pills. Antidepressants. No, John, they weren't prescribed, but I took them anyway. They still don't know I take them, but they almost found out. The physical pain was bearable because I knew I deserved it. But even I, surely, didn't deserve to live with the agony of knowing I had good as killed you on Valentine's Day. There were some days where they think I'm on the brink of loosing my sanity and who knows? Maybe I am. But mostly they think I'm crazy because I hear them calling. Though I know it is not in my head and that it is real, they can't hear it because the Fates and the Angels aren't calling to them. They are calling to me. I hear them all the time. In my dreams and when I'm awake, I hear them calling my name.

"Lucy..." they call, "Lucy..."

"Lucy... wake up!"



Lucy Knight awoke with a start. He had been standing right there in front of her. Right there, and she had been spilling her secrets to him. Had she spoken in her sleep?

"Finally, you're awake!" Abby said, relieved.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't," Lucy sighed, "What time is it?"

"Eleven," Abby said, "PM."

"What happened?"

"You fell asleep!" Abby said, "I told you, Dr. Knight, you shouldn't overwork yourself. You've been on for fifty hours straight with nothing to sustain you but an old sandwich and a dozen cups of coffee!"

"Dr. Knight..." even on her own tongue, the name didn't sound right. It had before. When she was younger and full of dreams, in her first year of medical school. It had sounded so lovely. But now that Lucy was a doctor, the name sounded so... strange. As if it wasn't meant to be.

"Yes, Dr. Knight, that is your name!" Abby said, pulling Lucy to her feet.

"Why are you so formal all of a sudden?" Lucy asked.

"What do you mean?" Abby asked.

"You haven't called me 'Dr. Knight' in ages!"

"Well... That doesn't matter! You should go home, get some sleep!"

"But-"

"Go, now!" She pointed at the door. Lucy sighed. She had been feeling really bad today. Tomorrow was Valentine's Day and Lucy wasn't too happy about that. Lucy took out her pill bottle, forgetting Abby was in the room, and took a couple.

"Lucy, what are those?" Abby asked her. Lucy turned, surprised.

"Nothing, I promise," Lucy smiled, weakly. Abby gave her a suspicious look.

"Lucy, sit down, I want to talk to you," Abby said. Lucy hesitated.

"But you said I needed sleep. You're right, I do," Lucy made an excuse.

"But Lucy-"

"Gotta go!" Lucy turned and began to sprint towards the exit.

"LUCY!" Abby screamed, running after her and catching her right outside. She made Lucy turn to face her.

"Listen. I was new when you two were stabbed, I know it, you know it. But I can see it has really effected you. Not that I blame you. Carter is gone. I'm sorry. You can't keep torturing yourself like this!"

"Let me go, Abby!" Lucy said through gritted teeth. She struggled away, aggressively, and headed for her car.

"Lucy, you've become a real friend to me over the past three years. I don't want you doing anything to hurt yourself! You're like a sister to me!" Abby called after Lucy.

"Go to Hell!" Lucy screamed out her car window and drove off, taking another pill.

"Damn it!" Abby cursed. She spun around and was shocked to find herself face to face with Luka Kovac.

"Luka!" Abby said, shocked.

"Abby, is something wrong?" Luka asked, his deep voice tinted with a Croatian accent seemed concerned.

"Nothing's wrong. Why would you think that?"

"Well, no one swears for no good reason," Luka said.

"It's Lucy. I'm worried about her," Abby said.

"You shouldn't be. Lucy is a grown woman. She can take care of herself."

"Are you sure?" Abby asked, quizzically.

"I think so... Abby, something is wrong!" Luka decided in response to Abby's question. Abby sighed.

"Nothing is wrong, Luka, forget I said anything!" she began to walk back into the building and then paused. She turned to Luka again.

"Do you think that Lucy could be taking drugs?" she asked.

"I guess it's possible..." Luka said.

"Thanks," she sighed, sadly. That was all Abby needed. She turned around again and walked back inside.



Lucy didn't sleep that night, though she had promised Abby she would. Carter's face kept entering her head. She couldn't bare it. So she stayed up all night watching late night television and eating leftover Chinese food out of her fridge.

Despite her insomnia, she still decided to go to work that morning. She got dressed bright and early at around five o'clock and went down to her car. Before she stepped in, she felt a little light-headed. She shook it off and buckled her seat belt.

Her car turned onto the freeway. Her head began to throb with pain and her eyelids became heavy and her vision was blurred. She could barely see the road. Before she could decide to pull over, her sickness prevailed and she fell slumped over the wheel.



"What's going on! Can't a guy get to work in this country!" Luka honked again at the cars in front of him.

"Thanks again, Luka, for the ride," Abby said.

"Uh oh," Luka said, looking out the window.

"What?" but instead of answering Abby's question and because the cars were now at a stand-still, Luka jumped out of the car. Abby decided to follow. He ran over to a police officer.

"What happened here?" Luka asked, "I'm a doctor."

"Well, this gal just skidded off the road!" a Texan officer said, "According to eyewitnesses," Luka ran over to the wreckage, followed by Abby. The door was open and Luka leaned inside.

"Oh my God..." he said.

"What is it?" Abby asked.

"It's Lucy," Luka said. They exchanged worried looks and Abby looked over her shoulder at the police officer.

"Why are there no paramedics here yet?" she demanded. The Texan shrugged.

"We called, they know, but they aren't here!"

"Screw this!" Abby said, looking around for any sign of medical help, "We'll take her in your car, Luka."

"My car?!" Luka asked.

"Yes," Abby said, "We'll have to. It's either that or wait," Luka nodded and they lifted Lucy into the back seat. Abby was in the back with her while Luka tried to make his way around the traffic jam, surprisingly with not much difficulty considering how no one had let him pass before. Luka's car swerved into the ambulance bay and helped Abby lift Lucy out of the back of the car. Elizabeth came instantly to their aid.

"OK, what have we got," she asked, then saw the patient, "Lucy?" she declared, as they lifted the doctor up on a gurney.

"Car accident," Luka told her as they wheeled Lucy in, "She crashed into a large tree. It made some dent! It slashed head pretty bad," and indeed it did. There was a large gash right across Lucy's forehead that was bleeding intensely.

"Poor Lucy!" Elizabeth said as they entered the trauma room. Kerry joined them in there.

"The damage doesn't seem too bad, she'll survive," Kerry said, calmly, "That cut on her head will probably need stitches though."

"I don't think that's our biggest problem," Abby said, pulling out a pill bottle from Lucy's jacket pocket.

"What is it, Abby?" Kerry asked.

"It's near empty!" was all Abby could say. She saw the label and one sentence stood out. 'WARNING: CAN BE DANGEROUS IF TAKEN TOO OFTEN. UP TO FOUR A DAY MAXIMUM. TWO A DAY FOR PEOPLE WITH CARDIOVASCULAR CONDIDIONS,' It read. Abby was horrified. She had seen Lucy swallow four pills in one gulp just yesterday. This wasn't good, wasn't good at all.

"OK, get me some charcoal!" Kerry yelled.

"I had no idea Lucy was taking drugs!" Elizabeth said, shocked.

"Neither did I," Kerry agreed. Abby was silent. Luka turned and looked at her.

"Abby?" he asked.

"Yesterday... I tried to talk to her about it, she wouldn't listen..." Abby couldn't believe herself. She should have been more firm with Lucy! Suddenly, Lucy stopped breathing and everything began to move much faster.



Dark. Very dark. Is it always like this when you die? I looked around and saw nothing.

"Come on, Lucy, come on, you can make it through this one..." their voices were far away, too far. The pain in my heart was growing stronger now. At least, I thought it was. For I was in a numb state of mind and could feel no pain. Music began to play. Familiar music. The music I heard, lying on the floor of curtain three, bleeding to death.

"May I have this dance?" a voice behind me asked. I turned, gracefully to see him there again. He was clad in a bright tuxedo and seemed to be in the spotlight. He was smiling.

"This isn't the kind of music we could ballroom dance to, Dr. Carter," I laughed. Carter's eyes widened, questioning, "And besides, I don't look half as good as you!" I said. Carter snapped his fingers and the music changed.

"Oh no?" he asked. I looked at myself and saw a stunning violate evening gown, sparkling, "And what's with the formalities, Luce?" I smiled and took his outstretched hand. He led me onto the dance floor with moves so smooth and elegant. I had no idea he could dance this well. I had never had the chance to dance with him before. I wished we could stay this way forever. To my disappointment, the dance ended. He looked me straight in the eyes. He looked so alive. It was ironic, really. His eyes were bright with life though now they were buried six feet under.

"I should go back now," I said, reluctantly, looking over my shoulder.

"No," Carter made me face him again, "You can't," his voice was gentle, but there was a finality in the way he said it. Suddenly, they were calling again. Softly and gently, but like Carter, their words were final.

"Lucy..." they had called my name many times before but never had it sounded so threatening, even though the voices were still kind.

"But I don't want to leave yet! What about all of my friends? Elizabeth, Mark, Abby, Luka, Peter, Kerry... what will they do?"

"We don't know," Carter said. His smile had disappeared from his face as if it had never been there, "Lucy, there was a mistake. They were supposed to take you."

"I knew it! It was all an accident-"

"Let me finish," Carter held my shoulders, "I asked to be taken instead."

"What?" I asked, "But they call to me always."

"I know. Because I wasn't supposed to be taken, even if I wanted to be. But the angels took pity on me. I begged and pleaded for them to spare your life and take me instead. And still, I was only prolonging the inevitable. I failed you Lucy, and I'm sorry," Carter looked down at his feet.

"Look at me. John, look at me!" I ordered him and tilted his chin up until we were eye to eye again, "You didn't fail me. I am forever grateful for what you did for me. But, you really shouldn't have. Really, I *should* have died that night. You would have led a great life, John. Don't ask me how I know, I just do," Lucy withheld from telling him something else. She stopped herself from saying her life had been crap after he died. Carter laughed.

"In here, you don't have to say it, Lucy," Carter smiled.

"What?" Lucy asked.

"I know you hate your life. But if you hate it so much, why do you want to go back to it?" Lucy hadn't thought of that question before. Why did she want to go back?

"Well... I'm worried, I guess. About my friends, our friends. Everything fell apart when you died, John. Everyone misses you," Carter just nodded. Lucy paused, waiting for him to say something, then continued, "I dreamt of you often."

"Those weren't dreams," Carter said, smiling again.

"You mean I really *was* spilling my guts to you? Oh man!" I was only half angry though.

"Lucy..." the Angels' voices grew stronger.

"It's time," Carter said seriously, offering his hand, "Would you like to have one last dance?" I glanced over my shoulder one last time and saw into the trauma room. I saw Kerry, Luka and Elizabeth working in vain to help me and my heart nearly broke, the numbness fading. But I turned back to Carter and took his hand.

"I guess it is time, then," I smiled weakly. At least we had each other.



Abby held her face in her hands.

"I should have done something," she muttered, "I saw her take the pills!" Luka sat down next to her and put his arm, lovingly around her.

"There's nothing you could do!" he said, "Really. Abby, I love you and I don't want you torturing yourself. That's what got Lucy into the drugs. They will be fondly remembered, both Carter and Lucy."

"I can't believe her last words to me were 'go to hell!'" Abby began to cry.

"Abby..."

"And my last words to her were..." But Abby didn't regret her last words to Lucy.

"What were your last words, Abby?" Luka asked, noticing Abby stopping.

"I told her she was like a sister to me..." Abby said, her eyes shining.

"She was a great friend to all of us," Luka sighed, sadly, "And she always will be."

"Yeah," Abby sighed. She paused. A thoughtful look crossed her face.

"Luka..." she said, "Do you know what's really weird?"

"What?" Luka asked. Abby didn't answer in words, but looked over at the calendar and the date: February 14, 2003.




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